Your worst job ever in the mob

What was/is, your worst job in the mob ever? Leaving aside the obvious turd burgling type duties (although burning out crystalised piss from urinal pipes on Hermes lives long in my memory), what was the worst job you were ever drafted to do. Buffer’s party anywhere would probably qualify, although not something I ever had to endure.

In 1980 I left a cushy billet on HMS Fox to join FMG at HMS Defiance. Must have been one of drafty’s little jokes ‘cos I found myself as the only skimmer on the Nuclear Repair Section, working shifts on the nuclear barge (I am sure some of the stinky sinkys from S boats at the time will remember the barge). Suffered daily wind ups about my draft to boats being in, but apart from that it was an eye opener working with such a highly skilled and generally great bunch of lads.

My job however required anything but skill. With no valves to isolate the system we had to set up freeze seals either side of the section we were working on, which had to be constantly topped up with co2. From a bowser on the jetty, I had to ferry the co2 in insulated containers (gourd shaped things, I think were called ewers?), down onto the casing and down through the boat to the reactor compartment to top up the freeze seal, over and over again again for an 8 hour shift. Almost cracked me that one. I was almost pleased when I got hit with a bottle in Commodores one night and wasn’t alllowed down below for a few weeks because of an open wound!!

I did that job for 13 months before being called up to see my DO. Fox were short of a stoker and were sailing for a 9 month survey in the West Indies, they were asking for me and did I want go. Thought about that for all of 1 second before saying see ya!

So what was/is your worst job ever in the mob?


Cleaning reserve feed tanks on the Forth after contamination...about 20'' high and the full width of the bilges with a leaky condensate drain for company keeping the temp in there up a notch...not easy when you are over 6 foot. :evil:
Got drafted to Collingwood in an admin role as a wem(O), they had realised that the trainees were too bone to fill in their own passport applications and it was my job to take them through filling in the forms step by step.
Desk jobs have to be the most soul destroying of all, that was when I made up my mind to get out of the mob before I was "promoted" into one.

Oh yeah, then there was the job of Internal comms PO on Cumberland....Nuff said.