You know your old when...........

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Deeps, Sep 2, 2007.

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  1. You know your old when ......
    a) You joined up before your latest new lad was born.
    b) You remember when car reg plates ended with the year letter.
    c) You could be a pint of stella for £1.05
    d) Computers were made by bbc
  2. Another indication is when you find that the candles cost more than the cake.

  3. I Joined up
    a) 27 years before my eldest son was born
    b) I can remember when cars didn't yet have a year letter
    c) mild was one shilling and eightpence a pint
    d) adding machines were mechanical devices
    e) we didn't have official number- we all knew each other (even though the navy was much larger then

    We Must Stop This Immediately !

    Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper? Groceries are heavier? And, everything is farther away? Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

    And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

    I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that shedidn't even recognize me.

    I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refl ection .. well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
    Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days!

    You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

    Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices?

    The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?

    I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

    All I can do is pass along this warning:


    Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

    PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once were.
  5. It does appear tho`, that children are a lot stronger, 20 years ago it took two people to carry £20 of messages, now a child of five can do it.

    My first pint of mild cost 11d. :w00t:
  6. Someone once said you are getting old when you make noises when bending over to pick something up...... it's bloody true too.
    I can still Bench press the same amount and more than when I was 21 but my knees ache when I climb up the stairs on my ship.
  7. Lingy its only because you are catching the wave right.
  8. Terry B

    I am on the same wave as you.

    Daughter born 15 years after I joined up
    My first car nearly new RPG 542 Blue Ford Anglia
    I was 29 before the first red digital watches appeared
    I weaved my No1 Straw Bonnet for Divisons

    Run ashore Guzz dockyard to Union Street 1964:
    2 pints of scrumpy in the Avondale £0-2s 6d or 12.5 pence
    Taxi to Union Street £0-3s-0p or 15 pence
    5 pints scrumpy £0-7s- 6d or 38.5 pence
    Taxi back £0-3s-0d or 15 pence
    Special oggie and pint of milk from stall by the Avondale £0-1s-9d or 9 pence

    Total cost of run ashore by A/B H+++ Quartermaster HMS Tenby

    90 pence

    i.e.less than one British Pound if shared a taxi with two oppos I would have saved 20p but as a watch keeper often I was early or playing catch up to my oppos.


    Now if I got the £5000 signing on bounty for boats how long could you stay pissed for going ashore, if you allow for duty watches, for 15 years. Then again some bit of crumpet would only give you her body to steal your wealth. Ninja where do I sign.
  9. Guess you might be right, anyway, heading down to the Gulf of Mexico tonight for 2 months, do some hurricane chasing.
    Let's see how the old knees stand up to that :strong:
  10. I had two cars before I had one with a year letter :thumright: 51 CLC Ford Consul (Column change and bench seat...YEAH!) and 320 CUV Hillman Minx =)
  11. Shit, so my Moggie Minor with the split screen was modern piece of kit? :w00t:
  12. Not very PC Hig, these days it is called a WREN screen
  13. Sorry Ling thought they were all called Sailors. Just as a matter of interest, being a WAFU, who is the brainless fart the decided to call female Petty Officers. PO AIRMAN? Whats wrong with Airwoman?
  14. You are not asked for ID when buying ale.

    You talk about old money.
    You remember the announcement on the aircraft "The Captain has turned off the no smoking signs"

    Real winters and holding a ciggie lighter against the inside windscreen to melt the ice. And operating the wiper from the inside.

    A day trip to Blackpool on the sharra was the highlight of the school holidays.

    Smoking allowed only upstairs on the bus.

  15. Babycham
    Carry home cartons from pubs
    Car seats without headrests
    DLT sad stories on Radio 1
    Capris were cool
    Royal Navy blue liners
  16. the day i had to explain record albums to my duaghter i KNEW i was OLD
  17. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    You Know You're Getting Old When...

    You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
    You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
    You can live without sex, but not without glasses.
    Your back goes out more than you do.
    You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
    You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
    You are proud of your lawn mower.
    Your best friend is dating someone half their age... And isn't breaking any laws.
    Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
    You sing along with the elevator music.
    You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
    You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
    You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
    You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
    People call at 9 pm. And ask, "Did I wake you?"
    You answer a question with "Because I said so!"
    You send money to PBS.
    The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
    You take a metal detector to the beach.
    You wear black socks with sandals.
    You know what the word 'equity' means.
    You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
    Your ears are hairier than your head.
    You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
    You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
    You got cable for the weather channel.
    You can go bowling without drinking.
    You and your teeth don't sleep together.
    Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
    At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
    When you wake up looking like your driver's licence picture.
    It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
    When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
    When happy hour is a nap.
    When you're on vacation and your ENERGY runs out before your money does.
    When you say something to your kids that your mother said to You, and you always hated it.
    When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
    When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
    Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
    It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
    Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
    Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
    You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
    The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
    Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
    The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
    It takes twice as long - to look half as good.
    Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.
    You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
    You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
    You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.
    You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.
    You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
    You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
  18. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    You can't be THAT old, otherwise it'd be grandaughter! :lol:
  19. you would just as soon have a cheese and pickle sandwich as a shag.
    An old jan docky welder told me that when i was a pup.
  20. Shit Ling, you`ve just made me hungry :w00t:

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