You just couldn't make this up!

Discussion in 'Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting' started by Ninja_Stoker, Jun 29, 2007.

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  1. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    One would hope the hearing test is completed successfully before the Doctor asks you to wink.
    • Like Like x 1
  2. A sort of ocula version of swinging both arms when marching I suppose..
    You could always tie a broomstick to your mates don't even go there!
  3. But I **** sorry..wink with my right eye!! Will that make a difference? :roll: :scratch:
  4. If they can't actually close their left eye when using the SA80, what then?

    Are we going to start issuing eye patches? :pirat:

    Ah-harrr Me Hearties!
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Personally I always close both eyes when something goes Bnag!

    It reminds me of the bloke that goes to the opticians for an eye test.

    The optician says: "OK, put your right hand over your left eye & read off the card"

    The bloke puts his right hand over his right eye. The optician tries again: "OK, left hand over your left eye". The guy gets it wrong again!

    The optician decides drastic measures are required so he cuts an eye hole in an empty cornflakes box, sticks it on the blokes head & says: "OK, read the letters on the card"

    The guy starts crying. "What's wrong now?" asks the optician.

    Comes the reply: "I wanted steel-rimmed ones like my brother!"
  6. Uhm, I wouldn't even go there. I'm RNR but went on the 518 with the RN new entry course a couple of months ago. There were two girls on the course who couldn't close one eye, so both ended up wearing their berets with a piece of cardboard hanging down over one eye..

    They passed eventually, but that brings to mind one other point. One of the girls was very small, barely legal age for joining and couldn't even hold the SA80 up for more than a few seconds at a time. They got her through on her third try by giving her the minimum score.. oops, I mean she attained the minimum score required.

    If the other girls got eye-patches, maybe they should have issued her with steroids?
  7. Amazing! As the header says - you couldn't make it up.

    So what happens to those three in the real world when they have to take an aimed shot? o_O
  8. Putting a piece of card under your lid so that it covers the eye isn't a new trick, although it slightly concerns me that a recruit of a weedy nature male or female is having trouble holding their weopon in a fire position and being given the minimum score in order the pass them. massive drop in standards.

  9. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Not really NB, we're talking matelots here mate, not Booties. :thumright:

    Remember: "One of the few things a Royal fears is a matelot with a weapon".
  10. From what I understand this isn't an uncommon problem.

    When I was up at the R.N.A.C there was a young chap there who had the exact same problem, and he was issued a rather dapper eye patch.

    Our instructor informed us that it is possible to train somebody to close one eye.

    It's such a ridiculous notion though, I have to agree.
  11. I agree!
    Massive amounts of machismo are not required, nor wanted, in the RN.
    Living for months on end on a warship with little opportunity to do real exercise (walking perhaps) does not require huge muscles.
    The ability to exist without much sleep or exercise would be a greater virtue.
    Unless they have some latent disability aren't most young people supposed to be reasonably fit; skinny waifs is what I tend to see most.
    A matelot with a weapon (of the metallic killing variety) is, as you say, not a wonder to behold. Generally they tend to be better with the softer bedroom variety.
    Didn't the expression 'Go as you please' come from the sailors latent inability to march in any kind of organised fashion?
    This anarchic attitude has been a hallmark of the RN for centuries.
  12. I've done 24 years and still going and have never been able to wink with my left eye which, when I've had to fire an SA80 has caused problems but its not impossible, shooting one with both eyes open is fairly easy was you get the knack of it. I wasn't allowed to wear an eye patch when doing a Duty POs SPO course. About 7 years ago it was put on my medical docs, on being drafted (assigned for the JPA lovers!!) to JSSU(Cyprus) where all personnel have a personal weapon I was informed because it was noted on my medical docs I was entitiled to a SUSAT!! Happy days!
  13. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Whereas a cheaper method would've been to poke you in the Port eye. Problem solved.

    AND, I'm not even a Doctor.
  14. Same over here... its not uncommon for at least 2 or 3 recruits from any USMC platoon to be on the firing line with an eyepatch on. its very uncommon for someone to have an eyepatch on the next time they qualify, so hopefully they pick up the habit in the year or so inbetween.
  15. Couldn't agree more but there again the Mob never do things the easy way!! Or they could have given me an SLR!
  16. Same when I joined up, you were taught to keep both eyes closed, cos the shit from from the flint lock could seriously **** `em up.
  17. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Ay Up JH, good to hear from you mate!

    Interesting that it's a transatlantic problem too- I thought it was like stuttering, a uniquely British concept.

    Presumably your lot just poke 'em in the eye second time around as I suggested?

    Interestingly I've got an ex US Marine (Dual Nationality) in the recruiting pipeline at the moment- can't divulge anymore, persec & all that. I'm reluctant to ask him if he can wink, to be honest. [​IMG]
  18. dunno ninja - i never had that problem and if any of the ones i served with wore an eyepatch during boot camp they didn't after.

    and the reason why i haven't posted in a bit is because of all the nudity - i can get fired for that.

    (i love the avatar but if i look at it at work i'll get fired)

    oh and the ex-USMC (doesn't really exist!) recruit intrigues me. please tell more if you can.
  19. Stick a Post It (3M Tm) or four down the left hand side of your screen, with realistic notes or motivational phrases ( "Work harder you Bastard"!!) ...problem solved. :dwarf:
  20. now why would i want to have on my computer screen what tony blair used to say to dubya when dubya was behind him?

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