You can take the man out of the Corp, but ...

Discussion in 'The Corps' started by HarryBosch, Feb 8, 2008.

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  1. Gen dit

    Remember the day when that girl lost half of her foot on Exmouth beach to a prop and you saved the day because you had an FFD (First Field Dressing) in your bag? The guys would call you 'pusser' for carrying such stuff for such 'just-in-case' moments. Well, sometimes that kind of thing can happen when you have been out for years.

    I had to go up North by train yesterday. As I was descending a set of steps onto the platform I slipped, and before I could adopt a landing position for 'rear-side-right' I ended up legs akimbo and split the arse out of the trousers to my suit. After making a dignified recovery I held my head up and walked along the platform with my tight buttocks on display, much to the chagrin of the many women on the platform who proceeded to faint as I passed by. Anyway, knowing I was heading for a meeting I found a seat on the train and reached into my black leather grip for my ... housewife! As I dropped my pants around my ankles and began sewing them up with big feck-off mailbag stitches the ticket lady came from behind and asked me why I was sitting in my jacket, shirt and knicks with my trousers around my ankles. Without dropping a stitch I explained my predicament. Such was her amusement she forgave me and even sat and chatted with me until I had finished :)

    Does anyone else have a tale to tell about how an old skill/routine, ect., came back to rescue them?
  2. For some reason I'm unsurprised...

  3. Nice one Royal. As Karma noted i too am not surprised. Colleagues at work are always amazed when i produce cannulas, rolls of tape and a number of other bits of kits spread about me person for the use of.
  4. What station, Harry ? If it was Newcastle, surprised you got out alive....
  5. From the top of my head for now I can only relate to the time that the B2 Spirit on its "first" official visit to Europe dropped into Fairford an hour early.

    Due at 1700hrs it came at 1600hrs escorted by two F15 Eagles security reasons I would think. We where sat sitting scoffing away F*** I grabbed the camera and dashed to the apron now surrounded by Joe and Josephine Public ten deep.

    In a crisp military Bootie type voice I shouted "Can you move aside please" the crowd parted I walked to the front climbed under the rope and grabbed the B2 as it came in for a perfect landing. If you want that special picture you have to go get it!!
  6. I once used my pussers issue thick black socks as an improvised FFD for a guy impaled on a steel fence. Lost 'em as the paramedics buried them under their dressings when they got there. Being wool, I doubt you could have got them clean enough afterwards....
  7. I am thinking, Harry dear, that it is not your buttocks that were tight but your trousers - otherwise they would not have split!
  8. Unashamedly 'bumping' this. Are there no bootnecks or matelots who can add to this? Probably not, bcause the majority of threads on RR are 'Newbie' or similar. Thank fukc, for ARRSE.
  9. I practice pepper potting down the High Street with my daughter, screams of "Prepare to move......MOVE!!" and "magazine" or even better "GRENADE!!", mean that our progress is often unimpeded by civvy minded pedestrians.
    But seriously I always have a day sack with seemingly unnecessary stuff in it in the car that comes in handy, stuff includes 1st Aid Kit, maskers, bungee cords and hoofin girt bin liner (Good for body parts, waterproofing..whatever).
    This and my Pussers Carryonnomatterwhatability usually see me right.
  10. I left My Beloved Corps in a bit of a hurry and I never received my Repat Trunk that was en-route from Bahrain to UK. Years of accumulated military swag that I had proffed from all over the world; Aussie light-weight gear, windproofs, zoot-suits, Wilkinson survival knives, sludgemariners's sweaters, med. kits with lots of spare omnopon, strobe-lights, spare magazines, karabiners, gollicks and choggles.

    Often wonder which lucky barsteward ended up with it all. Couldn't stitch my strides up 'Arry 'cos my housewife was in there as well :thumright:

  11. Ha ha ... brings back memories of drunken pepper-potting. Other people, of course, not me :) I lost my zoot-suit and pusser's survival knife as well. I still have my map case, though. It was knocked up for a bottle of spirit by one of the old sail-makers at CTC when I did my JCC. MY housewife is a proper navy blue pussers roll and I'm guessing you can no longer get hold of them. Can opener, anyone? :)
  12. Until I started to book on line and recieve priority boarding it did cross my mind "GRENADE" when boarding the slum run with all the piss heads charging on board. One would think that the aircraft would leave soon as these knobs are on board.
  13. Security at Scouseland airport took my tin opener from a 24hr ration pack away H. Very dangerous that this tawt said, look at that point could rip your throat open. Informed him it had been round the globe three times. He called for his seventy two year old supervisor. He dashed over with his zimmer frame and croaked no can take that on aircraft sorry. Sentimental value I cried tears building in my eyes.

    Envelopes over there in that machine he croaked send it back home. Four quid!!! There goes the drinking money for the night.

    Do you have a pen I asked. He handed a pen. Are pens allowed on board I asked. Sure!

    I could kill you with this pen I told him straight through the eyeball into your brain. Suppose you could he said!

    When I got back the other half said you are an idjut which is one step up from idiot. They could have arrested you for saying something like that.

    What do you expect I told her!!!

    THEY TOOK MY TIN OPENER AWAY. And it also had a bottle opener.
  14. At work i carry all of my essential kit in my Fluorescent jacket as i know that if theres a major job its this piece of kit that i will be wearing so some numpty doesn't run me over on the motorway etc.

    Within the coat i carry
    A pussers FFD which i acquired off of one of the trauma doctors, Stethoscope for ausculatating the chest within my ABCDE protocols
    A roll of medical tape,
    Spare trauma shears,
    A paediatric SP02 probe (measures oxyhaemoglobin levels) and oxygen mask
    Head torch for crawling in and out of upturned cars and for flashing in pissheads eyes.
    And some spare gauze and sterile water for those saturday night jobs when i'm patching up cuts from drumken brawls.

    Not quite as pussers as you guys but the adage "Fail to plan, plan to fail" comes to mind. I've even wanged some harry maskers over the buttons on my uniform to prevent them being pulled off!!
  15. Crikey your wife must be bloody starving locked up in your trunk for all of those years!! Or was it a ploy to get rid of your newly acquired ladyboy!!! "Love you longtime bigboy"!!! :thumright: :thumright:
  16. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

  17. Seaweed

    Seaweed War Hero Book Reviewer

    Pusser's issue housewife, 1955, navy blue, one careful owner & FF Dressing issued for Suez 1956. Suit person planning minor surgery on self when nothing on the box one evening. Offers?

    [joking - wouldn't part with them]
  18. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    My favourite bit of kit is only a cheap item but I love it.....pussers watchstrap....problem is the watch it's attached to needs a good service which I'm unfortunatley not in a position to do at the moment. (the watch is shite at keeping time but I like it.)

    Other pussers traits, I have the issue 'tach and always display my tactical knowledge of moving fast and never loitering when in a built up area such as a high street full of shops...much to the missus and girls disgust... :thumright:

    I also have them "wandering feet" that Royal seems to get issued, I'm not talking about shaggin out of watch type wandering but the need to be in different places or doing a job that means your never in one spot chained to the same routine, might be doing the same thing (ish) but in different places (does that make sense?)

    And yes, I normally have my trusty housewife and shoe polish with me. I have also retained my love of pubs. :dwarf:
  19. One 7.62mm ammo box complete with four by two ,one SLR oil bottle and "TOOL" one SLR magazine. SLR cleaning tin with mentioned maintenance items.

    Ammo box with name stenciled on side so I know who I am. And what shooting team I am shooting for!

    All in the loft back at the old place with the poltergeist! ^_^; I kid thee not why else would the hatch be down and hooked one minute then open the next!! :whew:
  20. Guns

    Guns War Hero Moderator

    When I was doing a recruiting job I often had to go over to Yorkshire from Manchester. In winter I had a fully packed Bergen ready for any snow fall etc. Pish was regularly taken by my fellow Blue colleges but the Bootie nodded in approval. Anyhow left Sheffield and no snow, got to the hills as I always took the Castlefield route. Snow fell like the knickers of a Jesters Girl at 0150. Loads of cars got stranded and as I was driving the pussers white Astra Estate I was going nowhere. So out I get, change into cold gear, flash up stove, melt snow, brew on, chicken bag meal out, folding chair up and away we go. The police arrived to take people off the hill. They were very impressed to have a brew waiting for them. Everyone on the road was very impressed and I was so liking my time I stayed on the hill so I wouldn't have to go back for the car next day. Nice fire going using wood found and some hexy blocks. Sleeping bag in folded down boot and nice sleep.

    And they laughed at me.

    Although it helps if you put all of the 24hr rat pack in the bergen cos wiping my arse with sheets of ruled A4 paper was rough.

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