Wrong Place - Right Time.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Blackrat, Sep 3, 2011.

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  1. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Read this article from The Sun.

    Thieves targeting vans on council estate are confronted by four SAS men on a stakeout | The Sun |News

    Can you imagine the luck in that? Anyone got any similar stories?

    I recall many moons ago i was on exercise in Deutschland and was on a recce with three other chaps. We were all cammed up and tactical when this car pulls up in front of us and a chap with a fraulien gets out. He then proceeds to bang the arse off her over the bonnet, complete with noises such as "Ja, ja. Schon" etc, until orgasm is reached. With a complete breach of SOP's, x4 steely eyed doers of death stand up and applaud. Cue fast exit of the bonking boxheads. I still get wood thinking of it.
  2. re the shagging dit. I "trapped" in Jo Spanners one night and took her over to the beach where we did the biz by the sea wall. As I climbed off there was a round of applause from a load of matelots sat on the wall above us ( it's quite high there). As I took a bow, she legged it up the beach and I never saw her again.

    I should have bought those lads a wet as it saved me a taxi fare and any attempts at exchange of names etc.
  3. Ageing_Gracefully

    Ageing_Gracefully War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Bit behind the times there BR, the report is dated 25 Apr and was done to death at the time. Can't recall if it was on ARRSE or RR and can't be arrsed looking to find out.

    Nice story from the war on the Cold Front though.
  4. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Fuck my luck.
  5. I think i remembered reading on RR

  6. Dad, is that you?
  7. Didn't you ever wonder why your Mum called you "pebbles".
  8. She also called me 'Piers'.

    Are you coming home cos you owe me lots of pocket money?
    • Like Like x 1
  9. wal

    wal Badgeman

    Back in the late 60s as the Carysfort transited the Keil Cannel there was a couple giving it large on the hedge line at the top of the bank. when the captain spotted them, he gave it large on the syrens. The man leaped off leaving the lady fully exposed.

    No smart phones at hand in those days.
  10. Afraid you've had that, I had to use it in a specialist dose clinic.
  11. Enjoying a mid afternoon wet (or two) at a waterside tavern watching the grotty yachties at the South’s Premier Boating event with the tide on the way out ... The sun was shining and it seems a young couple had decided to settle down in a small tender safe from prying eyes of the drinkers on "The Hard" ... me included ... however by the time the young man had divested the young lady of her apparel and was now giving her a right good seeing too ... the tide had dropped several feet exposing the couple in full swing to the gazes of all ... she was a noisy young vixen which brought their amorous antics to the notice of all and when they finished they were treated to a standing ovation from those on the shore ... to give the lad his due he did stand and take a bow.
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2011
  12. Are you sure it wasn't Penis???
  13. On ex in Sennybridge a few years ago we set up an ambush on a road where an 'enemy' convoy had been driving. It took us a good couple of days to plan, with an OP at the ambush site and a couple of close target recces etc. The ambush would be the last shoot up of the ex and our CO and a Major General would be among the enemy to observe our skills, so it was important to put on a good show.

    At midnight on ambush day we tabbed the four or five miles to the road and got into position. As is usually the case with ambushes, we ended up waiting in the freezing cold for a few hours, a matter not helped by the fact that none of us had warm kit on because of the need to run away after the ambush. As we waited and waited people started to nod off resulting in a quick kick from one of the DS. One of the lads had a hip flask which was eagerly passed around.

    About three hours in, everyone's spirits rose a little as we saw a set of headlights moving along the road in the distance, finally the convoy had arrived and we'd be able to get rid of all this heavy ammo we'd been carrying for the past two weeks, we'd been told to go a little Rambo because it would be a pain to have to take all the ammo home with us and the top brass wanted a bit of entertainment. As the unmistakeable sound of a battered old Landy came closer, the order to off safety catches was whispered along the line.

    We all waited in anticipation as the Landy moved into our kill zone and finally the order came to fire. We all opened up and the hedge row came to life with four jimpys on the go and about thirty SA80s. A few flares were also let off for good measure and a good time was had by all. It was an epic culmination of our two weeks in the field.

    The Landy ground to a halt and as the flares lit up the sky, we noticed that the Landy wasn't painted green, it was painted white and it had 'Taff o Taffy's sheep farm' (or words to that effect) written on the side. A crusty looking farmer stumbled out and shouted in his thick Welsh accent: ''You stupid bastards, you gave me a bloody fright!'' We all sat in silence, not really knowing what to do. ''Well fuck you then!'' He shouted, he then jumped back in the Landy and fucked off.

    The officer in charge hastily made up some spaff about the farmer being an enemy combatant and it was all part of the ex, he ordered the ambush to be reset so that when the real convoy turned up we could get on with the original plan. Half an hour or so later the general, CO and their entourage turned up in a convoy of four or five Pinzgauers and Landys. The order was again given to open up and after about 10 or so shots from each man, a single burts from a jimpy and a weak looking mini flare everyone ran out of ammo.

    It was all pretty shit really and the general was heard to say, ''you got me up at 0300 for that?''

    Fuck knows what happened to the farmer, he's probably used to that sort of thing.
  14. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Sennyfridge farmers are used to this sort of thing. However, this is a classic. Be the best.

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