Write Ups!

Do any of you serving or ex serving have any good quotes i can put onto write ups, you know along the lines of "even mickey mouse has a AB Bloggs watch" "working with this man is like trying to knit with Fog!" etc etc

look forward to your contributions

 

Steward Platelayer uses the Royal Navy purely as a means of transporting his penis from port to port around the world.

or

"His men will follow him anywhere - if only out of curiosity"

or

"AB Scrote sets himself extremely low standards and still fails to reach them"

 

If can pick up the book "In Confidence" by Rick Jolly you will find all the quotes you need. Got my copy from the Museum at RN Airbase, Yeovilton last year, price 9.95

 

do not breed from this officer

this man is a model leading hand,it is a pity hes not a working model.

she opens her mouth only to change feet

this man has reached rock bottom and started to dig.

conncur with sidon 55 ihad the book years ago god knows where it is now.

 

Agree with Sidon55 - I still have a copy on the bookshelf. Still gets me smiling!

 

From Plod Source, well me actually

"Det. Con. **** shows scant regard for Houte Couture"

I remained true to my Scruffy Submarine Days.

Nutty

 

He's so dense, light bends around him.

He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire
satisfaction.

He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.

This Officer should go far . . . and the sooner he starts, the better.

The only ship I would recommend for this man is citizenship.

 

I remember this one very well,
" Petty Officer####### can be relied upon to achieve very good results, allbeit by devious means".

RoofRat

 

"Every village is entitled to an idiot. This man is depriving some village of its idiot"

"I would not add this man's sperm to the gene pool even if he was the last man on earth"

"She is not the sharpest knife in the draw"

Nutty

 

"This man continually sets himself low standards which he regularly fails to meet."

 

My personal favourite from Rick Jolly's tome: 'We were disappointed to hear that this student pilot planned to leave in the near future. We had hoped he would have left by the end of the week.'

 

This man puts out an air of supreme confidence, with absolutely no foundation

That was written on a new Plods appraisal and summed him up perfectly

 

We this man to be watered twice a day he would qualify as a plant.

This man would be out of his depth in a car park puddle

Marine Bicep has the full six pack, but lacks the plastic thingy that holds it all together.

 

Had a 2 1/2 in Chatham, who left his chit on his desk which had a promotional writeup of "I'm told that this officer is a good dancer".
He always used to lose his sword, despite it being on the hook behind his office door !

 

He has more time off than Rip Van Winkle's bunk light! (appropriate for FAA :lol: )

 

I would love to comment on this mans work, unfortunately, I have never seem him actually do any.

OM **** has been absent from the department with stress. However, this has not prevented her displaying an excellent devotion to her duties.

 

He has had more time off then Nelson's starboard anti-flash glove

 

I've come across loads in my time. These are a few of my favourites:

"XXXX has hit rock bottom and continues to dig";

"Petty Officer XXXX is not naturally compatible with naval uniform" and

"Chief XXXX takes little interest in this section, and this section has taken even less interest in him".

The last two were on Annual Promotion Reports.

 

"Works well when cornered".
"If he can be found, usually has a good answer for everything".
"There is no amount of hard work that he cannot avoid with intellect and humour".
"Popular with ratings and officers, except any that are above him".