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WORST War films

shellbackmac

Lantern Swinger
Had to post this topic after subjecting myself to an hour and a half of the most appalling acting in history. I paid a fiver for the boxset of 'Missing in Action/Missing in Action 2 and Delta Force' in the HMV sale and have been robbed f**king blind! I thought I remembered anything with Chuck Norris in it as an enjoyable messdeck shoot em up movie when I was a lad - I must have been young AND daft if I enjoyed this crud back then! Have just sat through 'Missing in Action' and it is breathtakingly bad. The acting is so cardboard smoking must have been banned on the set. And what the f**k is Lee Marvin playing at appearing in 'Delta Force'???!!! - talk about doing anything to pay the mortgage!
 

ask_then_order

Badgeman
It was going to be 'Braveheart' but I ranted about that on another topic. So it will have to be 'Waterloo'. 2+ hours of watching another close up on a drop of sweat dripping down Rod Steiger's face. Just plain dull...
 
ask_then_order said:
It was going to be 'Braveheart' but I ranted about that on another topic. So it will have to be 'Waterloo'. 2+ hours of watching another close up on a drop of sweat dripping down Rod Steiger's face. Just plain dull...

The uniforms were smart and sparkly clean though, considering it peed down the night before.
My OH always says that some of the older war films don't seem correct in that the rig is always clean and tidy.

It depends on which films you mean - the B/W of the 40/50s wher every officer was posh, and every ranker spoke like an East End docker, where when one was shot, he just fell over or the later more grittier ones where they still had posh officers, and usually one from the ranks who turned out a bad'un, and they usually got 'shot to doll rags' (as some western writers quaintly put it) and the rankers still spoke like EE dockers, or those from 'oop north.

I still can't quite accept the one with Audie Murphy (can't recall the title :oops: ) where one man shoots a whole regiment of enemy soldiers - even though it was based on his true war record.

If you want to see some really bad war films, try Movies4Men on Sky - they excel at this. I even saw Curt Jurgens in one (he must have needed money badly) which was made by Yugoslavia or somewhere there.
My Old man (87) loves this channel, though he doesn't say much about his own war service.
 
Almost any Hollywood war film, on the grounds that Hollywood did not win the war, and the action scenes are a laugh. Even Saving Private Ryan had some real howlers that ruined what would have been a good film.
 
John Wayne "The Green Beret" we told the paras at Abingdon lets go see real soldiers. We all marched down to the pit. What a load of bollocks!

"Halt tripwire" So big John emerges from the rear of the group and points to a tripwire!!

Pathetic when you think at the same time in real time we had the MY LAI massacre. Which if I remember was stopped by a Huey chopper pilot flying overhead.

Total body count between 350/500.





Lt Calley the man in charge!!!

Calley, an unemployed college dropout, had managed to graduate from Officer's Candidate School at Fort Benning, Georgia, in 1967. At his trial, Calley testified that he was ordered by Captain Ernest Medina to kill everyone in the village of My Lai. Still, there was only enough photographic and recorded evidence to convict Calley, alone, of murder. He was sentenced to life in prison, but was released in 1974, following many appeals. After being issued a dishonorable discharge, Calley entered the insurance business.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/vietnam/trenches/my_lai.html
 

lukep

War Hero
I saw The ITN documentary a few years back called '' 4 hours in Mai LAI ''
Its about 20 years old but if you can get your hands on it it's a fantastic watch. It shows that the horrors of war have no limits and also it shows how degenerate some weak willed men can get when pushed to their limits.
 

brigham600

War Hero
I did believe that bit Whitemouse. :) it was the bit where he managed to ride a horse so well that I found totally unbelievable. ;-)
 

chockhead819

War Hero
Jarhead - i waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited
for some action but there was none ******* yanks!
 
chockhead819 said:
Jarhead - i waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited, & waited & waited & waited & waited
for some action but there was none * yanks!

That was the point!
:)
Personally I enjoyed Jarhead.
 

scouse_B

Lantern Swinger
What is it with you guys, aren't these war movies true, most are in colour!
But you have to go along way to beat Crimson Tide what a load of b*llocks :pukel: :pukel:
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Book Reviewer
whitemouse said:
Butsh, Shur Shawn wash good with the Rushain acshent though .....

;)

Hmm, let's see... Sshawn was an ex-matelot, came from a cold, inhospitable country that thinks it owns all the oil and ships, where the occupants cannot speak English.

He was perfect for the part! :wink:
 

AfterSSE

War Hero
sgtpepperband said:
whitemouse said:
Butsh, Shur Shawn wash good with the Rushain acshent though .....

;)

Hmm, let's see... Sshawn was an ex-matelot, came from a cold, inhospitable country that thinks it owns all the oil and ships, where the occupants cannot speak English.

He was perfect for the part! :wink:

Especially when he played in the movie "Hunt for Red October", I believe "Crimson Tide" was Denzell and Gene hackman....neither can roll their tongues... :thumright:
 
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