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Worst Naval Film

I've just put a copy of U571 on EBay (stopping pushing at the back!).

While it's not SO bad except for the historic 'licence', it made me wonder what the very worst, utter load of balls naval film out there is, perferably with a great quote.

The best and most accurate portayal of professional naval personel is of course Top Gun and needs no further debate. In fact if anyone denies that I may be forced to delete their posts :)


War Hero
Pearl Harbour (2001) hands down....Afffflllaaaackk can't aaaaacccctttttt

President Franklin D. Roosevelt: "I like sub commanders. They have no time for bullshit, and neither do I."

But of course I like the quote... :biggrin:

Edit: I would have picked Top Gun, but due to censorship reasons,and I wanna still be able to post, decided not too... :hockey:
I was thinking Norman Wisdom too. The Bulldog Breed. Nice view of Portland Harbour in the opening minutes, though, and the sound of a real warship siren! You know, the "whoop, whoop" one.


War Hero
Passed-over_Loggie said:
I was thinking Norman Wisdom too. The Bulldog Breed. Nice view of Portland Harbour in the opening minutes, though, and the sound of a real warship siren! You know, the "whoop, whoop" one.

I recall some years ago being told that ships had a "whoop, whoop" siren specifically and only to go "whoop, whoop". True dit?
That Clint Eastwood film where he plays "Gunney hardcnut" or something, I think it was about the "invasion" of Grenada. Now that was truely pants....oh, the films pretty shite as well.

It's nearly a naval film.


War Hero
Have to say that one with 'Maverick' & 'Goose' was blummin' awful.

Everyone knows it's the Stokers that really fly the planes.

Can't remember the title of the movie.

Signed: IceMan


Lantern Swinger
My vote has to go to 'Petticoat Pirates' with Charlie Drake as the only man (3 badge AB) on a ship that has been taken over by WRNS who are protesting at not being allowed to go to sea. They hijack a warship and take it out on NATO exercises. Filmed in the 70s I think (maybe 60s) it has little to recommend it apart from the archetypal blue stripe 2/Os who are a bit gorgeous.


Lantern Swinger
There are lots of crap navy film but i think the best non brit quote has to be john wayne in the sands of iwa jima when the ngs starts and he tells the wobbly sprog booty "thats just the navy clearing its throat son".


Lantern Swinger
ET(MESM)whogivesafeck said:
otta go with either behind enemy lines or down periscope i know its meant to be funny buts its total poo

Down Periscope? Wasn't that a documentry?

I can't remember the film but hows this for a pisser of a last weekend alongside?
Noel Coward is the skipper, grants leave before they all go to war. All (standfast duty-watch) get to go home, but the skipper takes his steward with him. Skipper and wifey have a last picnic together on top of some white cliffs. The trusty hoover-pilot is there looking distinctly pissed of. Can't blame him to be honest.
onI believe you are referring to "In Which We Serve" in which case it's a classsic.

"Here ends the story of a ship, but there will always be other ships; we are an island race, through all our centuries the sea has ruled our destiny. There will always be other ships and men to sail in them. It is these men, in peace or war, to whom we owe so much. Above all victories, beyond all loss, in spite of changing values and a changing world they give to us, their countrymen, eternal and indominitable pride"

Now that's a great quote!
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