Worried Parent

Discussion in 'Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting' started by Jay Jay 11, Mar 4, 2014.

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  1. My son joined Raleigh after months of eager anticipation waiting for his joining date he text to say he thinks he has made a huge mistake, i have reassured him that its normal to feel like this leaving behind family and friends, starting a life changing career and that things will get easier as he becomes more confident. He has signed his initial contract and has said he will do the 28 days and give it a fair go, other than the normal words of encouragement ie so proud of you, can't wait to see a photo of you in uniform etc is their any thing else this worried mum should be doing or saying, any help would be great.
     
  2. Not a lot you can say, have you contacted his Divisional Staff? He may not have told them how he feels plus he can quit anytime in the first 6 months so he has plenty of time to think it through, Raleigh Phase 1 is NOT what the RN is like.
     
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  3. I have not contacted anyone yet, was not sure of the procedure and did not want him to think I was interfering...his life, his journey etc. But when you get a text saying that and his phone had died panic starts to set in. God I must sound so over protective, think I may have left myself wide open for abuse lol. Thanks for your reply though

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  4. tiddlyoggy

    tiddlyoggy War Hero Book Reviewer

    Jay Jay, search for the "worried mum" thread. Lots of good advice in there. Good luck.
     
  5. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    As you've stated, everyone has doubts. I'm still having them 33 years later.

    Tough love - is the key. Change your mobile phone number. Go ex-directory. If you must answer the phone, speak Chinese/Russian.
     
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  6. Contacting EE as I write



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  7. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

  8. He'll be fine. If he isn't, then he can just leave. Simples :)
     
  9. What week of training is he in at the moment?
     
  10. Jay Jay , I sympathise with you as my son is at Raleigh too and about the same stage as yours. Believe me, his Mother is going through the same anxieties as you are , but I agree with Wrecker on this one - obviiously we don't know exactly what he is worried about but should speak with the Divisional Staff who I imagine will be keeping a very close eye on all the new entrants - they have , no doubt , seen this before. There is of course the Chaplaincy where he can have a confidential chat - they will have seen it before too. It would be a great shame to waste all the effort HE put into the lengthy recruitment process. He might find that once he get's used to the ironing (the only gripe I have heard from little Pvivax) and all the other kit and personal admin issues he will see that the training becomes much more interesting and "relevant" to his role. As Wrecker says , Phase 1 is not what life will be like in the RN and the option to leave is still there after 6 months.

    In essence, I would urge him to seek help and advice from the people who can give it - and to give the whole thing time.

    I wish him well in whatever the outcome.

    Pvivax
     
  11. OMM

    OMM War Hero

    It gets better :)


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  12. exJenny

    exJenny War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    It sounds like he's joined this week as he talks about PVRing at 28 days.

    I remember a lad in my entry was adamant he wanted to go at the 4 week point. Hated being away from home etc. Our DI wouldn't let him give in and he made it through to passing out. Saw him a year or so after and he was so glad he didn't chuck in the towel.

    As said previously, INT is NOT the RN. It's a necessary evil but it only lasts 10 weeks. Tell him to get through to phase 2. If at 6 months it still isn't right then let him go.
     
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  13. Thanks for all your comments, I am just encouraging him all I can at the moment. It's something he has wanted for such a long time and I would hate to see him throw a lifetimes adventure away for 10 weeks......ex Jenny thanks for letting me know DI's will make it tough for him to throw in the towel of he has the potential to carry on.



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  14. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Whatever you do Jay Jay, don't accept if WreckerL offers to comfort him, it would lead him into some very dark places :sign5:
     
  15. I'm a caring sharing person Janner, honest, and once Jay Jay's son has spent some time hurtling around the Tamar in a rib and blasting bits of wood to pieces with an SA80, he may change his mind :)
     
  16. Well that's certainly made me smile

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  17. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Bottom line: If your son quits, it's his right to do so and that's why the contract permits him to emulate a French surrender monkey after four weeks, up until week 26. Most that quit regret it & return to the AFCO after a couple of weeks uttering the words "I made a mistake".

    Depending on the performance report during training at HMS Raleigh, a large number who quit & attempt to rejoin have to wait up to a couple of years before they may re-apply.
     
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  18. Is it his first time away from home per chance?
     
  19. When you first join any of the uniformed services you find yourself in a completely alien environment. Coupled with being away form all your friends and relations and thrown in with a load of complete strangers. We all felt in the early days that perhaps we had taken a wrong turn. As other have said tell your lad to hang on in there and by summer it will all be a bad dream.
     
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  20. He must go and see the "Bish" and have a chat about his fears. Talking to someone who is not part of the training and institution is very important with issues like this. The Bish is respected by all the staff and all the recuits, he dishes out tea and biscuits too!
     
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