Words to a song.

JFP

Badgeman
Apologise if this is posted in the wrong place but could somebody tell me the words for the song that we used to sing that was something like " A dirty jamrag and an old French letter,
A dose of syph you know that wont get better" Sung to the tune of These favourite things remind me of you. (Think that may be the title).
Thank you very much.
 

Caligula

Midshipman
Apologise if this is posted in the wrong place but could somebody tell me the words for the song that we used to sing that was something like " A dirty jamrag and an old French letter,
A dose of syph you know that wont get better" Sung to the tune of These favourite things remind me of you. (Think that may be the title).
Thank you very much.
A sweaty sock an old french letter
A dose of siphilis that won’t get better
The way your left tit swings
These foolish things
Remind me of you

Well that what we sang in the 60’s I think there are a few verses but that’s all I can remember
 

huwshpis

War Hero
If you can find a copy of the The Bawdy Beautiful: the Sphere Book of Improper Verse (published in 79, my own copy long since disappeared), you'll find the words of several versions there. Can sometimes be found on Amazon as a second-hand book, none currently available on the UK site.
 

Dredd

War Hero
I can no loner hear this song without thinking about these as the real lyrics . . .

Peter Sarstedt – Where do you go to (my lovely)

You look like Lassie with acne
You dance like Biffo the bear
Your clothes are all made by Bernards
And you’ve lice and spunk in your hair
And up your back, you know you’re slack

You live in a fancy compartment
On one of Her Majesty’s ships
With four hundred and twenty young fisheads
Each one of them gives you the shits
Yes they do…

So where do you go to my lovely?
When you’re alone in your pit
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
When you’re having a spine shattering shit

Your name is heard in high places
You know the buffer quite well
He gave you a dildo for Christmas
You use it for ringing the bell
Yes you do, ding-a-ling

Do you remember the Embassy party?
I recall that you caused quite a stir
Sliding down the banister
With your piss flaps going brrr brrr
Brrr brrr, brrr brrr

I remember the back streets of Gosport
Your ******** all gaping and wide
I remember I popped my head in
And the rest of the mess was inside
Playing draughts for a laugh
Ha ha, ha ha

I remember the back streets of Naples
The children all begging in rags
I remember you stole all their money
For a pint and a packet of fags
Yes you did, half a quid

I know where you go to my lovely
When you’re alone in your pit
I know the thoughts that surround you
‘cos I know that you’re full of shit
 

JFP

Badgeman
Absolutely brilliant - thanks. Do you by any chance know the one which roughly goes;
It's action stations again, we're closing down to Zulu Alpha,
We've got our respirators on, we're closing down to State one.
What's that I here? its only Jimmy on the tanoy etc.
 

dapperdunn

War Hero
Book Reviewer
Absolutely brilliant - thanks. Do you by any chance know the one which roughly goes;
It's action stations again, we're closing down to Zulu Alpha,
We've got our respirators on, we're closing down to State one.
What's that I here? its only Jimmy on the tanoy etc.
It's Action Stations again
We're closing down to Zulu Alpha.
Oh how we love to perspire, I feel it running down my ovies.
There's no need to pre wet,We'll just stand here and sweat.


There's, Action stations DC runs, abandoning ship
Action messing, what a blessing might get a chip
Radiation fallout, hear the decontam shout
Glory Hallelujah we've just scrubbed that deck.

It's Action stations again
There's the Jimmy on the tannoy
'tho we've just run aground
He pipes a quick one all round

There's Action stations DC runs, abandoning ship
Action messing, what a blessing might get a chip
Radiation fallout, hear the decontam shout
Glory Hallelujah we've just scrubbed that deck.

Edited to add a bit I'd missed.
 
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