Won a gong? Then get skating son.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by guestm, Dec 21, 2010.

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  1. Is it April the first or have I really just been told that Johnson Beharry is going to be in "Dancing on ice"?

    Somebody get on the blower to Kate Nesbitt and tell her she has to get herself into the Jungle pronto.

  2. This time he might actually deserve a prize
  3. It's going to be epic when some non-entity Hollyoaks actress, falls over and starts crying because she has banged her knee, while Beharry looks on with all his scars.

    I hope he smashes someone.
  4. I'm looking forward to watching his handlers follow him around the rink dressed in black, trying to stop the nutter from saying/doing the wrong thing
  5. I can picture it now. As "the soldiers" wail out some grief whore anthem, he'll burst into the arena driving a burning warrior, dance partner straddling the Rarden. Following a small bit of dancing, he'll rip of his shirt and she'll lick the ginagorous VC tattoo on his back whilst forcing an RPG into her gash and he'll scream how mega he is as poppies fall from the ceiling.

    The nations mongs will implode with this audio visual treat and the earth will stop spinning.

    It's going to be big.
  6. Dude, you're fucked up! 8O :D
  7. That brought a tear to my Jap's eye. I heard it will be sponsored by the Daily Mirror and Patrick Kielty is going to present it. Obviously Prince Harry, Joanna Lumley and Jeremy Clarkson will all pre-record special messages, to be played at regular intervals throughout the show.
  8. Think of the tear-fest, vomit inducing violin music which will be accompanying the war segments. My bile is rising already
  9. Incidentally, if you are reading this ITV I've copyrighted that routine and I will sue when you nick it.
  10. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    And for his first ice dance, Johnson Beharry & his parter will be performing "beauty and the beast".
  11. Someone needs to shout 'contact front' just before he's supposed to catch her.
  12. It will be epic. I wonder how many times they will use that shot of a Chinook landing in a sandstorm?

    We should also get some really mongoloid looking RNR lads to send messages home to their loved ones while they stand in front of a 12x12 in KAF, trying to look hard in brand spanking new MTPs.

    I'll contact Simon Cowell, let's make this shit happen.
  13. I'll just wait for the flares and fireworks to go off, he'll have a flashback and boot his partner in the clunge whilst wearing his skates.
  14. Would that then be classed as "Ice and a Slice"?
  15. Ok..... Sarah Palins going to be his partner.......in the interests of US & UK
    accord........"Now lets put some lipstick on this pig"
  16. VC and bar VD and scar?
  17. Ouch!!
  18. It actually stung a little just typing it out!
  19. Fuck off.
  20. And there we have the first candidate for a bite.

    8) :twisted: :twisted:

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