woman kisses frog??!!

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her
‘’If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes"
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said
"Thank you, but I failed
To mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said
"That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her
"You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to.."
The woman replied
"That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said
"That will make your husband the richest man in the
world.. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said
"That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his Is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered
"I'd like a mild heart attack…."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you…

Stop here and continue feeling good…



Male readers: Please scroll down…



> .

> .

> .



The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife...(dumb ass!!)



Moral of the story:



Women think they're really smart….



Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show



PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
 

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
Victoria Beckham was being driven around the countryside in her
> limo.Suddenly a cow walked into the road and, unable to stop in time,
the
> limo hit the cow.
>
> Slightly shaken up, the driver went to see if the cow was alright.
>
> 'Is it alright?' asked Victoria Beckham.
>
> The driver prodded the cow with his foot and shook his head. 'No
ma'am,
> it's
> dead.'
>
> 'Well you were driving, so you can go tell the farmer what happened!'
>
> So the driver went off to the nearby farm. A couple of hours later he
came
> back holding a bottle of wine,
>
> his clothes scruffy and messed up.
>
> 'Oh my god, what happened to you?' Victoria exclaimed.
>
> 'Well ma'am,' explained the driver, 'the farmer gave me this bottle
of
> wine,
> the farmer's wife gave a kiss
>
> and their daughter made love to me.'
>
> 'Just what the hell did you say to them?'
>
> 'I'm Victoria Beckham's driver and I've just killed the cow.'
 

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
Cowboy: "That your dog?"

Indian: "Yep."

Cowboy: "Mind if I speak to him?"

Indian: "Dog no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"

Dog: "Doin' all right."

Indian: (Look of shock!)

Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" (Pointing at the Indian)

Dog: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How's he treating you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food
and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Indian: (Look of total disbelief)

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Indian: "Horse no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool."

Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)

Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Indian)

Horse: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How's he treating you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me
down often and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the
weather."

Indian: (Look of total amazement)

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Indian: "Sheep lie.
 

Sparrowhawk01

Lantern Swinger
isn't modern medicine wonderful, lung transplants and all!
but whats the worst thing about a lung transplants?
the first lot of phlem you cough up isn't yours!!!
 
Sparrowhawk01 said:
isn't modern medicine wonderful, lung transplants and all!
but whats the worst thing about a lung transplants?
the first lot of phlem you cough up isn't yours!!!

Good job they dont do toggle and two transplants!
 

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
Molly, the Camel

A new Marine Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the
Iraqi desert.

During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up
behind the mess tent. He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there.
The nervous sergeant said, "Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have "urges". That's why we > have Molly the Camel."

The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand
about > "urges", so the camel can stay."

About a month later, the Captain starts having his own "urges". Crazy
with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting
a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his
pants > down and has wild, insane sex with the camel.
When he's done, he asks the Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"

"No, not really, sir... They usually just ride the camel into town where
the girls are."
 

Darbi

Midshipman
A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he couldn’t help. The Browns came into see the successful doctor and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests. Finally, he concluded, “Yes, I am happy to say that I can help you.â€

“On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife’s love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue.

“Then next, ma’am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut.†The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful.

They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests.

Then he told the Greens the bad news. “I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be, I cannot help.â€

The Greens pleaded with him, and said, “You helped our friends the Browns, now please, please, help us.â€

“Well, all rightâ€, the doctor said. “On your way home from the office, stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of cheerios… “
 
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