Witty RN Comparisons

Discussion in 'Nautical Jokes' started by Two of the Right, Jan 31, 2016.

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  1. I hope everyone gets my drift with this thread; I think there must be hundreds of these witty Royal Navy comparisons. It would be great to see them posted here to rekindle some old Jack Speak memories. Here's two to get you started;

    1) More time off than Rip Van Winkle's bunk light!! :D

    2) As smooth as a crocodile's Entering Harbour Suit!! :D

    Can you think of any more?
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2016
  2. As smooth as a warthog's ballbag....
  3. More flannel than a pussers blanket
    More time off than a Wafus bunk light
    The hand that wanks the skipper steers the ship
  4. A fanny like a Hippo's yawn
  5. Shaking like a shitting dog.

    Lounging around like a languid lesbian. (what exactly is/was a languid lesbian?)

    Nipples like John Wayne's cigar butts.
  6. She`s got skin like the lee side of a tombola ticket.
    • Funny Funny x 2
  7. Hahaha.........Jack's imagination has no limits!!:D
  8. It sees about as much use as Anne Frank's drum-kit.

    eg. "The XOs trainers see about as much use as Anne Frank's drum-kit"
    • Funny Funny x 2
  9. Nipples like 'Clear Gun' pushes.
  10. After trapping first night ashore:

    I wouldn't say she was a dog, but she had a hand like a werewolf's paw.
  11. Sweating like a Royal Marine in a spelling test.
  12. As nervous as a Tiny Nun on a Penguin shoot

    As rare as Rocking Horse shit.
  13. She's been cocked more times than Davy crocketts musket
    • Funny Funny x 2
  14. As useful as a chocolate teapot

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  15. She's had more pricks than a second hand dartboard.
  16. As empty as a Submariner' s dhobey bag!!!

  18. More time off than the skipper's ovies!
  19. A mouth as dry as mahatma ghandis left flip flop
  20. Your as smooth as a pussers deck tread

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