Winnie, Adolf and Uncle Jo.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Blackrat, Jan 25, 2012.

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  1. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I'm in a pondering kind of mood today and have been thinking about the big three leaders during WWII. In their own way, they all displayed a certain degree of cuntishness. Let me explain.

    Winnie. Outstanding war leader, but was rude. He smoked liked a chimney and had a fondness for the Brandy. Apparantly, he would have immense shits that would clog even the largest of toilets and he would leave marmite smeared down the pan, stating it was character forming for the cleaners. He also loved to let rip silent farts during important meetings. Anthony Eden states in his memoires that during a D-Day meeting, Churchill dropped a dry bomb so foul, General Alanbrooke chucked up in a waste paper bin. However, he also had a funny side to him. In one of his most famous speeches given not long after Dunkirk, he actually says "We will bum them on the beaches", not "Fight". If you listen to the recording closely, you can hear where they have had to change the wording.

    Uncle Jo Stalin. Now he was a cunt, no mistake. Not content with playing the politburo off against each other, he was known to skiff them after going to the karzi to see how they would react. However, what he gave he couldn't take. It is a little known fact that Leon Trotsky was killed because he skiffed Stalins favourite Tommy Tippee plastic drinking cup. Stalin was actually responsible for killing more people than Hitler, but as 50% of them were peasants, no-one really bats an eyelid. He ruled Russia with an iron fist and like Winnie, smoked and drank like it was going out of fashion. He was a furious masturbator and was known to knock one off during Politburo meetings. He was caught by one of Roosevelt's aids at the Yalta conference pulling the head clean off it in the toilet while looking at page three of Pravda. Known for his famous saying "If a man gives you a problem, get rid of the man, then you have no problem". He's also known for saying "If the worm needs burping, then rub away".

    Hitler. The original Ubercunt. Due to the fact he had a silly haircut, ridiculous tash and only one testicle, he decided to take it out on Europe. He hated alcohol and tobacco and it's doubtful that he would have been to brothels, due to the lack of a testicle. He suffered terribly with his bowels, which is the real subject of Mein Kampf. His hatred of the Jews stemmed from the fact that his original Doctor, Herr Burgerbaum, failed to cure his chronic constipation. Mind you, this helped Hitler give some impressive speeches as he always needed to crimp off a nest of dogs eggs during Nazi rallies. Hence his frantic and erratic arm waving behaviour. He also had a thing against Pikies (fair one), intellectuals, commies, mongs and gingers. He claimed that they were not true blond haired, blue eyed Aryans (mind you, neither was he) and so decided to kill them all off. Could this because he only had one gonad? He had only one true love in his life, and that was dogs. His subsequent marriage to Eva Braun was proof of this. The reason he had a bunker built in Berlin was so he could fondle his hounds in relative privacy and so he could store his collection of dog turds.

    Ok, to my point. Bar Winnie (who's cuntishness is at a minimum), who was the biggest cunt in History and why?
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  2. The man himself, CĂșnt ?
  3. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I'm sure he would feel honoured, but i fear he's slightly under qualified.
  4. Got to be Stalin for his murder of 11 million people. Hitler and his cronys were pure amateurs compared to him ... queue wrath from the Jewish fraternity.
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2012
  5. Shaka Zulu was a bit of a twat to his own people and any other tribe in his vicinity.For instance, he killed one of his opponent's mum by locking her in a hut with wild hyenas, in the morning, after the hyenas had eaten her alive, he torched the place.
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2012
  6. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    He was a tool of the highest order but has always been overlooked somehow. Maybe the biggest mass murderer in history? I would put money on him suffering from piles.

    But what a warrior. And, by the sounds of it, inventor of the barbeque.
  7. Though not in the numbers league of Uncle Joe or Adolph by a long shot, John Wayne Gacy has to be well up there in the cunt tables.
  8. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    He should have actually been named Marian Morrison Gacy, so therefore qualifies for cuntdom in getting that wrong. That, and for all those murders and rapes of course.
  9. Pol Pot. Politics slightly to the left of Uncle Joe. Only managed 4 million but Cambodia is only a small Country, pop.13 million.
  10. Sorry I think you've got it all wrong, let's clarify things:

    Churchill - Much quoted fat bloke with good chat and a propensity for bombing the fuck out of Germans. What's not to like? I've always thought he looked quite jolly too, the sort of chap who'd dress up as Santa for the kids at Christmas while wading into the cooking sherry.

    Stalin - Bit naughty Russian geezer who is responsible for ridding the earth of millions of filthy peasants and poor people. He was basically just trimming the fat of society. A modern day Joe in the UK would round up all the chavs and council scum and have them shot, a service we could probably do with to be honest.

    Hitler - Made a good sized dent in the Gypsy population of Europe. Imagine what things would be like now if he hadn't gassed millions of pikeys? You wouldn't be able to leave your bike anywhere safe. If only the 3rd Reich had made it to Ireland, we'd have none of these problems like Dale Farm today. So he had a thing about the Jews, to be fair I can understand this to an extent, I live near Golders Green and they are miserable fuckers, their dress sense is also truly gipping.

    I reckon the real cunt in all this is this fucker, I want to punch his giant head:
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  11. pope.jpg How about this throbber?Former member of Hitler Youth,and serial peado protector?
  12. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    How about this chimp?

    Two countries invaded, thousands dead, all because someone interrupted reading time.

    View attachment 2090
  13. That's a downright lie.................this cnut can't ferkin read !
  14. [​IMG] Two for the price of one !
  15. Oliver Cromwell. Basically a Christian Fundamentalist Puritan dictator who banned Christmas, Easter, Drinking, Shagging, Music, Singing, Laughing and anything remotely fun. Like an English version of the Taleban. No wonder everyone fucked off to America. And look how that ended up.

    Cromwell - ugly humourless potato-nosed warty cunt.
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  16. It's still Michael McIntyre for me. Floppy headed cunt.
  17. The King of Scotland, Idi Amin, he has to be a contender.
  18. That not so nice Mr Mugabe gets my vote. The twat can't even be bothered to create an original dictator's moustache but has to steal somebody else's idea!
  19. Tony Blair and Gordon Broon they fecked up 60 million people!
  20. Legacy of Thatcher. The ruin of this country. Minor socialist pretenders don't even touch the evil that was done by that soon-to-be dead bitch.
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