why oh why do pongo's!!!

Discussion in 'The Corps' started by brass_monkey, Jun 23, 2008.

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  1. I have asked myself many times why oh why do pongos do certain thing's like, walk around with their draw cords undone on their jakets, why do they wear their jackets in the galley, and why the fook do they wear their combats to wash and shave in the morning's.
    i once had the opportunity to ask a pongo wo2 these questions but with no proper answer just a load of shit about "you bootnecks think you are so special" to which my reply was, "at least we have standards". and yes you guessed it, i had no reply. so if any of you lot can enlighten me i would love to hear your spin on the subject.

  2. Down to Basic training standards, lack of traditional tickety booness and need to be able to look after the personal admin in confined spaces.
  3. im on a pongo camp at the moment and i have been asking these questions for weeks.
    Apparently wearing jackets and headgear in the galley(scoff house as they keep correcting me) is normal and encouraged.
    And you made a mistake they wear combats to shave. We all know that pongos do not wash.
  4. I do know the paras have a shite wearing the cherry berry seen it often. They may be Israeli paras in disguise and that would explain a lot!

    The Noble art of carrying and wearing a bergen the bootie way. All straps must be coiled in a correct and orderly manner. Leading the groups out walking it annoys me when I see dangling straps even now!!

    We once viewed Percy on the ranges complete with waders in the kneeling position. When enquiring why you are wearing waders the reply was to stop our knees getting damp. Really annoying we thought we had dropped onto a rubber fetish gathering.
  5. I recall a Corps piece of mythology on the subject, it goes something like this:

    A Marine officer has reason to be staying in an Army mess while on an attachment. The first morning he comes down to breakfast and there is only one other officer present already seated and wearing his Guards cap pulled down low over his eyes. The bootneck says good morning abd sits down to eat. He gets no response. A little while later, he asks the Guards officer to pass the sugar and gets absolutely no indication that he has even heard the request. So he asks again a little louder but still no response. When he asks a third time, the Guard deigns to lift his head a little and with a sigh says.

    "When a Guards officer wears his cap to breakfast, it means he does not wish to speak to, or be spoken to by anyone - that's a tradition of the Regiment".

    The bootneck thinks about this for a second before putting down his spoon, climbing up onto the table and walking across he stands in ths man's breakfast, saying:

    "When a Royal Marine put his boot in your cornflakes it means PASS THE FCUKING SUGAR"

  6. Its funny how the Guards and pongos are a complete contradiction!
  7. Whilst serving on the good ship Devonshire,We took onboard a stench of Devon & Dorset Squaddies who were in Transit to Gib,(The Barbary Apes must have been on R&R.)After Being at sea for 5 days ,one guy asked me where the bathroom was?
  8. I was doing a navex on Dartmoor a few years back and allong the route came across a load of chaps from the Devon and Dougnuts, I believe they were doing the H Jones Challenge.
    They looked like the retreat from Moscow! One bloke had seemed to have lost a boot and was yomping with a bit of roll mat taped to his foot, a couple of the GPMG gunners had dismanteled their guns and put them in their bergans and one bloke just stopped where he was and ditched his bergan and weapon!
    I was horrified!!!! And now they are part of 4 Rifles who have become our 4th manovoure unit.
  9. They're pongos and no further explanation is required really. :)
  10. On the other hand, they don't tend to surrender to Argies and Iranians so it's not all bad news...
  11. I pulled an Army Officer up last weekend for having his beret in the bar. The retort was "it is correct to carry a beret in the left pocket in the Mess". I began to argue but got bored so instead loudly fined him a bottle of port.

    Needless to say, he didn't remove his beret...
  12. I have been perce man and boy for the last 29 years. I've got to say, it's all true, the average personal admin of the Army is minging. Having gone through re-education at Lympstone in 1985 and served alongside Royal for 11 years I can honestly only agree with the sentiment. You lot might be clean but you don't half talk funny.
  13. Yawn! Bore off Sapper.. :toilet:
  14. Having had the dubious pleasure of being on a Perce camp for the last 10 days I thought I would update you on their latest antics:

    Lying on their beds with their boots on the covers
    Shaving whilst wearing their shirts
    Going to Scran in Phys kit straight from the Gym
    Lying on their beds in Phys Kit after being in the Gym
    Stealing each others kit
    Saluting everything that moves (including RN POs and CPOs :dwarf: ) :hockey:
    Not cleaning their kit after being in the field - just leaving it honking in the corridor for a week.

    And just in case we thought that this was just confined to the Squaddies most of the these have been witnessed in the Seniors and Officers messes :thumright:
  15. I hear Royal fought over several square miles before being surrounded by Argentine SF, marines and armour, at which point Royal was ordered to lay down arms by Sir Rex Hunt. Perhaps not....?

    Eleven British Army soldiers captured in Sierra Leone by 'The West Side Boys' without a shot being fired, anyone? And let us not forget the glorious retreat from Basra Palace and the hunkering down at Basra airfield.

    The point is, r_s_l, anyone can fling shit at people caught in unusual circumstances, but it's not big and it ain't clever.
  16. Excellent post Harry, "Act Nonch lads." and "Ar*** You Bastard, look what you've got us into now!!" spring to mind. Innit!!?
  17. I was taught that as a Royal Marine I was expected to be cleaner in the field than the Army could be in barracks ... just never realized how truly filthy the average Pongo was. Minging on a good day ... and breathtaking on a bad one.

    As for surrendering we should not let Perce forget the 60,000 Pongos who surrendered unconditionally to Yamashita, many of them having never heard a shot fired in anger. Let's not mention the debacle of Dunkirk where our glorious army abandoned its weapons and equipment in droves :thumright:

  18. Gott in Himmel! They get worse.. :wtf:
  19. Comment from the light blue side, what the RM did down South was simply put, f+cking magic, heavily outnumbered they gave the Argies something to think about. Amongst other things they put a hole in an Argy ship with an anti tank missile. Had they not been ordered to surrender by the Governor I suspect a few more Argies would no longer be sucking oxygen.

    Meanwhile back on track, I remember over 10 years ago on a trip to a cavalry barracks seeing things that made me think I`d landed on another planet. Rodney in barrack dress with RED socks argh! A miscreant being marched to Regt HQ wearing No 1s and a white helmet, with a Cpl marching right behind him and shouting very loudly LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT--- I could hear him over 100 yds away. Strange bunch.
  20. I think after their 1st exposure to Blitzkrieg and in that terrain, I think we can allow the BEF (and Johnny Frog) some leeway. There is little tactical value in proud and tiddly PoWs.

    I'm often amazed at Joint meetings at the ability of quite senior brown job officers to turn up looking like bags of s**t in their cabbage suits with stable belts. There is clearly more to being smart than creases in ones CS95 DPM trousers. And another thing! beret tapes hanging down ones neck like Baltic Matrosen is just bad form.

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