Why not?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, Sep 6, 2012.

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  1. In a land where rum was tantamount to the daily good of the ship,
    And OD's kept their fuckin place and badge men took no lip,
    Where PC meant a constable, not some "correct" and fluffy rule,
    And shaggin arse was optional, and not done as a rule,
    Where women stayed behind on shore, and the sea was mans domain,
    To rove and drink and to sail and whore til we came back home again.

    Alas it's now "equality and you've women along with the men,
    It will never be the same at sea or even ashore again,
    There gettin fuckin everywhere you cant get away from the fuckers,
    How can you upend the board on their heads, when you're gettin dicked at Uckers?
    It don't seem fair we blokes can't compete, they have taken over our life,
    And who in the fuckin hell would want a three badge cunt for a wife.

    Ah bollocks I now have a plan and I think it would be great ,
    To let the bastards have it all and just wipe clean the slate,
    They could do the work and fix the car and make sure we had money,
    We'd stop at home whilst they went foreign and fuck would that be funny,
    they could shag and drink and get the clap as we did back in yore,
    In fact if they made an allotment they needn't come back any more.

    Just send ickies loads of them like we did in the day,
    I wouldn't want that fuckin much lets just say "half their pay",
    I stop on rowner or St Beaudoux and live a life of ease,
    whilst they did what I used to do and roam the friggin seas,
    And just like them in days gone by when they stayed on the shore,
    I'd fuck and I'd shag and be a right fuckin slag yes sir a married patch whore.
    • Like Like x 7
  2. Top dit there fella.
  3. Anther classic RumR dit I think you have missed your calling as a poet

    Q is PC not an umputer

    And have you gone back to nature, wanting to grow your own veggies?:toothy10:

    have a good W/E I have had enough work for this one
  4. People

    If wit was shit then Sumo, would die of diarrhoea,
    The funny as fuck one liners that he drops out on here.
    The lines that have me cheesed down often just a word
    Innuendos, and the tongue in cheek, and sometimes the absurd.

    That he can laugh at himself as many on here don't,
    He takes the piss from himself when many on here wont,
    Its real mess deck humour, Jacks always gone to town,
    On making himself look the twat, and puts his own self down.

    The green rubs and the comments that show you how he thinks,
    The way the man doth tell it, admits his own shit stinks,
    Cus RumRation is full these days dribbling OD's
    The fuckin Gucci Navy, and a thousand "look at Me's".

    That irritating fucker called Sharky is alright,
    He spins a dit, he's full of shit he hounds me every night,
    The cunt he is a stalker, grasping every word I've said,
    I'd like to get the keyboard and bounce it off his head.
    He can be fuckin funny, sometimes a fuckin gay,
    But shit he's a submariner, so what else can I say?,

    Still he's full of good humour which is how it's meant to be,
    When I sling shit I know a bit will come straight back at me
    Sometimes when I get in full swing, insulting all you trollops,
    I only stop to have a brew and shit flies back in dollops,
    But do I get a bazzy on? and cry long in my beer,
    Yes I do you fuck faced crew, and most of you are queer.

    On the question of moderation, most of us like to cuss,
    And when one pisses us off bad, we grab an outrage bus,
    We sulk and cry and campaign, and then we have the threats,
    We're all gunna kill the bastards, except the Moders pets,
    But me I have a good idea that I'd like to discuss,
    How about we fuck the twats before the twats fuck us.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Sumo's a submariner as well, go on, admit it, you lurve us really, just like Stan does :toothy5:

    Edited to add the answers still no, I'm washing my hair tonight (I've only got the one so have to look after it)
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2012
  6. Submariners are alright but I wouldn't eat one.
    And you was going to be in the poem as well but I had to nip out with my son to do a deal. Drugs.
    Pity about washing the hair. Are you implying you have some, or was that pubic.
  7. Rum rat take the piss out a Sumo shaped chap wait to next week I'll think of a come back you B twat

    Brills as alway

    may be I'll tell about when I shat myself on a run ashore in Gib
  8. Fixed that for you
  9. I fixed it for you too!
  10. I,ll see your fix and raise you a double fix

  11. Thats not what I heard.
  12. That's not a dit, it's a rite of passage.
  13. Fixed yet again and it's an anal hair, brown in colour. I was thinking of going blonde though. Waddya reckon?
  14. Fuckin typical slugers can't string enough words together to write their own posts so they have to go around "fixin" every other bastards.
    Thanks lads now fuck off I'm trying to concentrate.
    • Like Like x 1
  15. Shoelaces must be a bit of a problem at your age, it's left over right then under, right over left....... ^~
    • Like Like x 1

  16. It's a fuckin nightmare on RR just lately (I was going to say of late) but that's a bit highbrow for fuckin tube peepers, so I'll keep it simple.
    It's like fuckin Dolphin on here on a bad day, there's more sludgers than there sheets on a bog role. (Yes I counted)
    When you ain't trippin over fuckin wave dodgers up pops a fuckin bubble head with attitude. Actually he's gerascophobic and being a bubble also androphobic. Poor fucker there must be some piss sprayers in the family or close friends.
    He thinks I'm wrinkly fuck has he got a shock when we meet.
    I read on google today an article about small and ugly men and (researching sharky) they recon they fear old age more than any other group. Well if your small and ugly, I suppose old is a right pisser as its third time looser.
    Should I be cheeky and ask Stan?:laughing8:
  17. Go on, ask him Dolphin 35, and as it's you, Dolphin 39.
  18. Er dolphin 50 and 46
  19. Well.....why the f*ck not eh????

    • Like Like x 2
  20. Incontinent, no teeth, no hair upon my head
    I wake up in the morning to find I’ve pissed the bed
    A lean, mean handsome love machine is what I used to be
    But humpy backed and bandy legged now like a Chimpanzee
    My driving license long since gone, now I’m on the bus
    A blessing in disguise maybe cos now I wear a truss
    Hemorrhoids like stalactites from my arse hole swing
    Sitting is a problem without my rubber ring
    Half blind half deaf a grumpy little git
    I used to smell of old spice but now I smell of shit
    If you think I’m after pity, you’re really out of luck
    Cos when you get to my age you just don’t give a fuck.
    • Like Like x 2

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