Why not?

Rumrat

War Hero
In a land where rum was tantamount to the daily good of the ship,
And OD's kept their fuckin place and badge men took no lip,
Where PC meant a constable, not some "correct" and fluffy rule,
And shaggin arse was optional, and not done as a rule,
Where women stayed behind on shore, and the sea was mans domain,
To rove and drink and to sail and whore til we came back home again.

Alas it's now "equality and you've women along with the men,
It will never be the same at sea or even ashore again,
There gettin fuckin everywhere you cant get away from the *******,
How can you upend the board on their heads, when you're gettin dicked at Uckers?
It don't seem fair we blokes can't compete, they have taken over our life,
And who in the fuckin hell would want a three badge **** for a wife.

Ah bollocks I now have a plan and I think it would be great ,
To let the bastards have it all and just wipe clean the slate,
They could do the work and fix the car and make sure we had money,
We'd stop at home whilst they went foreign and **** would that be funny,
they could shag and drink and get the clap as we did back in yore,
In fact if they made an allotment they needn't come back any more.

Just send ickies loads of them like we did in the day,
I wouldn't want that fuckin much lets just say "half their pay",
I stop on rowner or St Beaudoux and live a life of ease,
whilst they did what I used to do and roam the friggin seas,
And just like them in days gone by when they stayed on the shore,
I'd **** and I'd shag and be a right fuckin slag yes sir a married patch whore.
 

Sumo

War Hero
Where PC meant a

In fact if they made an allotment they needn't come back any more.

.

Anther classic RumR dit I think you have missed your calling as a poet

Q is PC not an umputer

And have you gone back to nature, wanting to grow your own veggies?:toothy10:

have a good W/E I have had enough work for this one
 

Rumrat

War Hero
People

If wit was shit then Sumo, would die of diarrhoea,
The funny as **** one liners that he drops out on here.
The lines that have me cheesed down often just a word
Innuendos, and the tongue in cheek, and sometimes the absurd.

That he can laugh at himself as many on here don't,
He takes the piss from himself when many on here wont,
Its real mess deck humour, Jacks always gone to town,
On making himself look the twat, and puts his own self down.

The green rubs and the comments that show you how he thinks,
The way the man doth tell it, admits his own shit stinks,
Cus RumRation is full these days dribbling OD's
The fuckin Gucci Navy, and a thousand "look at Me's".

That irritating ****** called Sharky is alright,
He spins a dit, he's full of shit he hounds me every night,
The **** he is a stalker, grasping every word I've said,
I'd like to get the keyboard and bounce it off his head.
He can be fuckin funny, sometimes a fuckin gay,
But shit he's a submariner, so what else can I say?,

Still he's full of good humour which is how it's meant to be,
When I sling shit I know a bit will come straight back at me
Sometimes when I get in full swing, insulting all you trollops,
I only stop to have a brew and shit flies back in dollops,
But do I get a bazzy on? and cry long in my beer,
Yes I do you **** faced crew, and most of you are queer.

On the question of moderation, most of us like to cuss,
And when one pisses us off bad, we grab an outrage bus,
We sulk and cry and campaign, and then we have the threats,
We're all gunna kill the bastards, except the Moders pets,
But me I have a good idea that I'd like to discuss,
How about we **** the twats before the twats **** us.
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Sumo's a submariner as well, go on, admit it, you lurve us really, just like Stan does :toothy5:


Edited to add the answers still no, I'm washing my hair tonight (I've only got the one so have to look after it)
 
Last edited:

Rumrat

War Hero
Sumo's a submariner as well, go on, admit it, you lurve us really, just like Stan does :toothy5:


Edited to add the answers still no, I'm washing my hair tonight (I've only got the one so have to look after it)

Submariners are alright but I wouldn't eat one.
And you was going to be in the poem as well but I had to nip out with my son to do a deal. Drugs.
Pity about washing the hair. Are you implying you have some, or was that pubic.
 

Sumo

War Hero
Rum rat take the piss out a Sumo shaped chap wait to next week I'll think of a come back you B twat

Brills as alway

may be I'll tell about when I shat myself on a run ashore in Gib
 

Sharkey

War Hero
Submariners are alright but I wouldn't eat one, again
And you was going to be in the poem as well but I had to nip out with my son to do a deal. Drugs.
Pity about washing the hair. Are you implying you have some, or was that pubic.

Fixed that for you
 

Topstop

War Hero
Submariners are alright but I wouldn't eat one.
And you was going to be in the poem as well but I had to nip out with my son to do a deal. Drugs.
Pity about washing the hair. Are you implying you have some, or was that pubic.


Thats not what I heard.
 

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