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Why me?


War Hero
Moomin said:
I think you have a fair point, some do spend too much time doing not much but if you had an accident (say Hit and Run) wouldn't you want the car to have an easily readable number plate for other people to read? Personally I'd have told him to get it fixed and produce the car at the nick.

A Readable plate yes totally agree!

Get it sorted and prove it yes totally agree!

It's like someone at the show not long bought a car from a dealer. Which had tints on windows including the front both driver and passenger. (so he believed was ok) Asked the coppers if they would test as he didn't want to get done for. They tested they were way to dark and they advised him to remove them. When he could've been given 3 points as they were below 30%

Now that's the better attitude to have. they were friendly about it. The guy removed them no problem.

I was there so wasn't second hand either


War Hero
See, there is the odd nice copper about - or maybe they can't spell well enough to fill the form in for 3 points (joke! before all the coppers throw their handcuffs in the corner).


War Hero
tommo said:
Here's the regulations on it.

As far as I'm aware it's not the MOT test to make sure you legally spaced letters. If I remember correctly only a broken/unreadable plates are a failure. It's like the thing about loud exhausts and window tints there's laws against certain levels of noise and tints but it's not an MOT requirement to check

The PDF, in the 'LAW' section, suggests that you may fail the MOT test if the plate is in breach of the laid down conditions?


War Hero
21_Man said:
tommo said:
Here's the regulations on it.

As far as I'm aware it's not the MOT test to make sure you legally spaced letters. If I remember correctly only a broken/unreadable plates are a failure. It's like the thing about loud exhausts and window tints there's laws against certain levels of noise and tints but it's not an MOT requirement to check

The PDF, in the 'LAW' section, suggests that you may fail the MOT test if the plate is in breach of the laid down conditions?

I did say if I remember correctly lol

So it is the MOT garage responsibility.


War Hero
Moomin said:
Teeny Weeny place outside Bodmin. Can't say I have been to Redruth - have I missed much?

Only the curfew's going on for the young peeps and twilight zone's sticky floors

otherwise not really


War Hero
Technically an MOT is out of date after you leave garage - Who's too say you didn't go home and change number plate back to legal one? Or that chip in your windscreen could have happened driving home. They should fail a car with an illegal number plate - but try proving they should have!


War Hero
Is the curfew worth all the outrage about it? Can't see it making much difference - Police usually know who the trouble makers are and if its worth taking them home to parents.


War Hero
Well the area is not far from where I live. And my other half works for the housing association that deals with that area.

I think it's working for the local residents that kept complaining to the housing association about the anti social behavior.

From what I've gather the only ones who've been complaining about the curfew is the kids that are usually out into the early hours and some are around 12 years old.

Whether it makes a difference is another thing I guess only time will tell


War Hero
We can but hope - Bodmin don't want it, but personally I think a lot could be achieved by it. Mind you half of them can't spell with their spray cans so how they would grasp the idea of a curfew is beyond me.


War Hero
That is so true about Dogbin as it's known down this end.

Supposedly this is a gen dit. But it's funny as though it has reference to Bodmin

This is a genuine complaint to Devon & Cornwall Police Force from an

angry member of the public

A true email sent to the force, lengthy but brilliantly written.....


Dear Sir/Madam/Automated telephone answering service,

Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Bodmin

police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the

idea and try e-mailing you instead.

Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to your

colleagues in Bodmin, by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or Ouija


As I'm writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments

(I think you call them youths) in St Mary's Crescent , which is just off

St Mary's Road in Bodmin.

Six of them seem happy enough to play a game which involves kicking a

football against an iron gate with the force of a meteorite. This causes

an earth shattering CLANG! which rings throughout the entire building.

This game is now in its third week and as I am unsure how the scoring

system works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon.

The remaining five failed-abortions are happily rummaging through

several bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so

thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins. One of them has found a saw

and is setting about a discarded chair like a beaver on ecstasy pills.

I fear that it's only a matter of time before they turn their limited

attention to the caravan gas bottle that is lying on its side between

the two bins.

If they could be relied on to only blow their own arms and legs off then

I would happily leave them to it. I would even go so far as to lend

them the matches.

Unfortunately they are far more likely to blow up half the street with

them and I've just finished decorating the kitchen.

What I suggest is this - after replying to this e-mail with worthless

assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with,

why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath night)

when there are no mutants around then drive up the street in a Panda car

before doing a three point turn and disappearing again. This will of

course serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually

look like.

I trust that when I take a claw hammer to the skull of one of these

throwbacks you'll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month head

start before coming to arrest me.

I remain your obedient servant



Mr ??????,

I have read your e-mail and understand your frustration at the problems

caused by youths playing in the area and the problems you have

encountered in trying to contact the police.

As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend an

offer of discussing the matter fully with you.

Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details

(address / telephone number) and when may be suitable.


PC ???????

Community Beat Officer


Dear PC ???????

First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my

original e-mail.

16 hours and 38 minutes must be a personal record for Bodmin Police

Station, and rest assured that I will forward these details to Norris

McWhirter for inclusion in his next Guinness book of Records.

Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has its own Community

Beat Officer.

May I be the first to congratulate you on your covert skills? In the

five or so years I have lived in St Mary's Crescent , I have never seen

you. Do you hide up a tree or have you gone deep undercover and

infiltrated the gang itself? Are you the one with the acne and the

moustache on his forehead or the one with a chin like a wash hand

basin? It's surely only a matter of time before you are head-hunted by

MI5 to look for Osama.

Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking place

in Bodmin, such as smoking in a public place or being Christian without

due care and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman to explain

(using words of no more than two syllables at a time) to these twa*s

that they might want to play their strange football game elsewhere.

The pitch on Fairpark Road , or the one at Priory Park are both within

spitting distance, as is the bottom of the Par Dock, the latter being

the preferred option especially if the tide is in.

Should you wish to discuss these matters further you should feel free to

contact me on <???????>. If after 25 minutes I have still failed to

answer, I'll buy you a large one in the Cat and Fiddle Pub.



P.S If you think that this is sarcasm, think yourself lucky that you

don't work for the sewerage department with whom I am also in contact



War Hero
:thumright: Like that!

I'm still not 'local' so say what you like about it. I'll be dead and gone before I'm considered local - never heard it called dogbin before.


War Hero
Well feel welcome to use Dogbin up there now :D

Do they still have travellers in the Priory Car Park?


War Hero
Nope the Travellers decided it was just not classy enough and cleared off. They weren't here long, can't think why!!!!
rod-gearing said:
tommo said:
Unfortunately I've friends be hit with same thing. Over the years and have had plate for ages.

Coppers down here love pulling people for illegal number plates be it only cos of the spacing.

Here's the regulations on it.


I like the way this law stipulates that all plates must be conform to British Standard, and then go on to state the size in millimeters - aren't we supposed to have been allowed to keep Imperial measurements ?

It also goes further in ' not alter, rearrange or mispresent etc....', but the amount of 'personalised' plates in the Smoke can't be totalled (particularly the blingers in their mercs and/or beamers)- but then unless you're parking/parked/drug ridden celebrity/star you don't get touched !

I wonder if my plate (PEN 15) will pass muster......? ;)
Naughty Mr Rod Gearing how dare you go about with a number plate that may make the increasing number of 'safety' and 'spying' cameras unable to properly track you. You should be ashamed of yourself sir for daring to show some sort of individuality. What on earth is the country coming to.
You thoroughly deserve a much heftier fine; flogged around the fleet, something like that.
Move to Spain where there are no personalised number plates ,but you need to carry endless documents in the car with you.
If some eagle eyed police person spots a minor error they attempt to fine you. The whole lot is popped into an envelope and sent to your insurance company - which is pretty much always the last you will hear of it.
That is what needs to be learned in the UK - keep the paperwork wallah busy and f' all happens.


War Hero
it never runs smooth sometimes does it?
Brought my wheelchair bound wife home from hospital and when she felt queasy she said to pull up at a cafe as a cup of tea would help.
did that wheeled her in and came out with a ticket affixed!said I was in the loading area for ONE minute!
Tried but it was no good,traffic warden was 5ft high and 20 stone so I said "Don't matter you'll be dead shortly even if you slim down so I'll have the last laugh" Also told him not to drink in the towns pubs as if I saw him out of uniform I'd give him some grevious,noticed then that he'd switched on his mike and any further comments would be transmitted.
guess we all have stories to tell,they are really pond life,to think that's the only job the RN offerred me on demob!

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