Why Don't the Crabs Contribute?

fido

MIA
MONKEY NUTS

A tourist walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on display.
While he was there, an officer from the local RAF base walked in and said to the shopkeeper "I'll take one of those monkeys, please."

The shopkeeper nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store and took out a monkey. He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it the officer, saying, "That'll be £2,000, please." The officer paid and left with the monkey.

The surprised tourist went to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very
expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred pounds. Why did that one cost so much?"

The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that's a special technician monkey, he can rig aircraft flight controls, pass the RAF Fitness Test, set up a perimeter defence and perform the duties of any warrant officer with no back talk or
complaints. It's well worth the money".

The tourist then spotted a monkey in another cage. "That one's even more
expensive! £10,000! What does it do?" he asked.

"Oh, that one" replied the shopkeeper. "That's an "Engineer Officer"
monkey. It can instruct at all levels of maintenance, supervise maintenance at the unit, intermediate, and Depot level, and even do all of the paperwork. A very useful monkey indeed".

The tourist looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a
cage. The price tag was £50,000. The shocked tourist exclaimed, "This one
costs more than all the others put together! What in the world can it do?"

"Actually" said the shopkeeper "I've never actually seen him do anything but drink beer, play with his dick and wind-up the other monkeys, but his papers say he's a Pilot."

fido
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
MoD_RSS Don’t rely on temperature screening products for detection of coronavirus (COVID-19), says MHRA MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Don’t call us – we’ll call you MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Don’t miss out, claim Child Benefit by phone or post, HMRC tells new parents MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Update on 'Do’s and Don’ts' of completing an application to incorporate a CIC to include 'Online' applications MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Alec Don named as new DECA Chairman MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Summer fun – don’t fake it! MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Don’t Blow It! Phase 2 Launch Event MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Don't Blow it! Collaboration Day MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Speech: Please don’t waste this moment MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Don’t miss out on Help to Save MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Speech: I don’t want you to panic MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: ‘Don’t be a Space Invader’ - says former ‘Stig’ Ben Collins MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Salmon found in River Don at Sheffield MoD News 0
Ballistic Like/funny/don't like etc. facility not working. Site Issues 13
MoD_RSS Press release: Crack down on suppliers who don’t pay on time MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Defence and Security Accelerator Dial-in: Don't Blow It! MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Speech: "You don't recruit an arsonist to put out a fire. You especially don't do that when the fire is one they caused." MoD News 0
vauxhall Don't forget to claim your pension! Finance & Pensions 5
MoD_RSS News story: Notice of competition launch 'Don't Blow It! Safely eliminating munitions on the battlefield MoD News 0
vauxhall Don't get caught out .. Finance & Pensions 21
fishhead Don't mention the war Boris Current Affairs 11
H Why don't they increase supplies of food on submarines? Submariners 60
Stirlin Don't try this at home. Sports and Adventure Training 3
Passed-over_Loggie Don't Eat The Snow! Diamond Lil's 0
MG Maniac Don't get caught fancying pigeons! Diamond Lil's 8
SONAR-BENDER Yippee! Don't need to come up the beach! Diamond Lil's 0
P I just don't get those defending the "Joint" F-35 concept The Fleet Air Arm 28
finknottle Tories;don't you just love them! The Gash Barge 57
F Don't panic Captain Mainwaring Diamond Lil's 24
soleil So the Septics don't think we're up to it! Current Affairs 68
S Don't ask Don't tell Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 3
daffy1 Don't get mad, make hot wets and biscuits. Current Affairs 1
scouse The Jocks don't want the Sundodgers Submariners 8
soleil Defence Management Journal: "MoD Admits 'We Don't Know' Over F-35B Fighter Problems" The Fleet Air Arm 7
Rumrat Ah well ( fuckin don't snigger Rumrat) The Gash Barge 14
Ninja_Stoker Pompey Diving Team don't have a boat shocker Diamond Lil's 9
trelawney126 Asking directions in London.....Don't bother The Gash Barge 15
Rumrat Not for the religiouse.... don't look, honestly. Diamond Lil's 2
Seaweed 'History' Threads Don't Paint in 'Last 50' Site Issues 2
finknottle I don't Believe It! Current Affairs 37
F Don't panic, they don't like it up 'em ! Current Affairs 24
broadside They just don't get it do they? Current Affairs 23
soleil Sun: "Nuke Test That Says: Don’t Mess With The UK" Submariners 5
janner I don't remember a lot of these places. The Gash Barge 14
trelawney126 Blair " Don't Hang the Bankers" Current Affairs 3
BillyNoMates You don't have to look like Jet Li to be a Ninja-a-a-aaaa Diamond Lil's 4
whitemouse 'Don't tell him, Pike' ! Films, Music, TV & All Things Artsy 4
S I Don't Understand Women! The Gash Barge 16
L Don't worry about tomorrow, you already did that yesterday Miscellaneous 4
Magda Films you really don't like (but actually do). Films, Music, TV & All Things Artsy 6
Similar threads


















































New Posts

Top