Why does it always happen this way?...

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, Jun 23, 2011.

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  1. I thought a few out there may get great delight in knowing I have awoke this morning with the mother of all pimples on the port side of my arse.
    I sat in the bath trying to get the fucker to burst, no joy, the war office is out and it's throbbing like fuck when I sit down.
    Do you think I should ask a neighbor to squeeze it for me, or man up and rub my bare arse across the brick wall in the back yard to try and bust the little sucker?
    When recommending the latter please bear in mind cowardice saves lives.
  2. get a cheese grater on it or i could send send 1 of the lads who rides on the other bus round to sort it
  3. Man up you soft git. Do the hot milk bottle trick, you know you want to.:-D
    And please post video when complete (with sound):laughing2:
  4. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Get a bottle, put a lit match in it, whack the open neck over the pimple, hold in place.

    Man up.
  5. Sitting here stunned as I am from the overwhelming feeling of sympathy that seems to be flowing from you caring types, I'm thinking,
    How the fuck did I ever co exist along side you type of people.
    Being the type who would not even watch a stoker die (I would walk away not gloat) I feel hurt at the suggestions thus far.
    Being a doctor myself (well I watched Holby City) I have decided to slap a poultice on it of Magnesium Sulphate.
    I asked the bloke next door to look at my arse, but he said he couldn't stand the look of my face never mind my arse.
    And before that horrid V8 says anything, no they do not look the same, my arse is quite pretty.
    Type 42 lives close, perhaps I should seek a professional opinion.:laughing2:
    Second thought no he's a stoker.
  6. This Marine corps you was a member of, did you have an eagle on your arm and ss like insignia on your collars.:-D
    Sadistic bastard, I suppose if it dont suck the pimple away I should shove the bottle up my harris and have some fun.

    No wonder NZB moved over there trying to get away from you. He may one day publish the story of being stalked.:laughing2:

    Anyway the spots still there look:pottytrain2:
  7. wal

    wal Badgeman

    .......and what pray tell is wrong with stokers????

    Stokers don't get pimples on their bums as sitting on hot pipes which prevented them from appearing.
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2011
  8. We shouldn't really be talking about stokers before the 9 o'clock water shed should we?:-D
    And the word pray and stoker in the same sentence, someones provoking God ain't they:laughing2:
  9. Well at least stokers are acclimatized for when they cross the bar.:slow:
  10. wal

    wal Badgeman

    Stokers and God are one of the same! Ain't they???
  11. wal

    wal Badgeman

    "Well at least stokers are acclimatized for when they cross the bar"

    Too cold for Stokers down there.
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2011
  12. The last stoker I came into contact with in York at the end of last year, threatened me with a sausage, and humongous buns.
    But as we were in a public place the situation was defused, thus giving me the chance to escape and make it back across the border into civilized country.:laughing2:
  13. wal

    wal Badgeman

    What part of this country is civilized, now?

    RR, not all stokers are evil. Bad maybe.
  14. I live in a rural landscape, where even the chavs say please as they demand your mobile phone and wallet.
    Actually the shitehawks fly upside down here as there's nowt worth shitting on.:laughing2:

    Disgruntled of Staffordshire.
  15. wal

    wal Badgeman

    I went to stafordshire once, it tw'er closed.

    "O for the wilds of Cannock Chase" said in a Cathy on the moores voice.
  16. Fixed that for you mate
  17. Dont ever hear Bum and Stoker in the same sentence either:-D

    edited for gash spelling although why I bother with Admiral Matee on board fuck only knows
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2011

  18. Well he's your fuckin uncle Bob I've seen him say it to you.
  19. Bob?.....................
  20. Fuck off :laughing2:

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