Why do wimmin hate mice so much?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by dunkers, Aug 28, 2006.

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  1. So there I was, quite happily reading RR, when suddenly from downstairs I heard a blood-curdeling scream. Loud enough to wake Nelson from the dead. This impressively loud murderous scream went on quite some time so I reluctantly gave up reading higthepig's travel tips and went downstairs to see what was the matter.

    There was a mouse in the house. Scurrying about the living room. My mother had seen it and went hysterical.

    She continued to scream right in my face and ran out the room, slamming the door behind her. That left me alone in the room, with the mouse. Hmm. Amidst the screams I managed to decipher the words "under the TV" so that was the first place to look, and sure enough, there was the little fella! A tiny little brown fieldmouse. Just sitting there, looking cute, totally harmless. Now where's the cat when you want him? I thought, and lo and behold at that moment the cat appeared through the cat flap. I put him down by the TV and he immediately caught the scent... pulling the TV away from the wall revealed the mouse and the cat pounced... the mouse then scurried away with the speed of a thousand gazelles to another corner of the room. The cat gave chase.

    The mouse got to a corner of the room where there was a display cabinet against the wall, seperated from the wall only by the skirting board. Somehow the mouse then managed to launch itself up in between the wall and the cabinet... and got wedged right in there. Stuck fast. I shined a torch on the little guy and could clearly see his tiny heart beating like he was in mortal danger (well - he was, with my murderous cat around).

    So I did what any caring guy would do, I pulled the cabinet away to let the cat (who was lying in wait) get at it. To kill it you see. The idea was good... but the mouse then ran away again and managed to get underneath the setee. By this time the room was turned upside down, TV pulled out, setee pulled out, cabinet moved, all doors closed with 2 clips. By this time the cat was getting bored and decided to lie down for a bit. Anyhow, I shifted the seat it was hiding under and it ran out in one direction; the cat being the stupid thing he is, thought he would look at the other side of the chair - the opposite direction to where the mouse just went. It was now under another chair.

    This rigmarole continued for quite some time, the mother still in fear of a tiny mouse. From another room she asked how things were going, "alright" I replied, "will get the cat to kill it". "Oh no!" came the irrational reply. :roll: What did she want to do, keep it as a pet? The cat had again taken to sitting purring away, having a good laugh at what was going on, he was having fun pretending to chase a mouse and play with it.

    So anyway. A little while later, having motivated the cat and done a lot of furniture re-arranging, the mouse ended up in the kitchen (which joins on to the living room). Good, I thought, because all doors could be closed to keep the mouse and cat in the kitchen. The mouse was now sitting at one end of the kitchen and the bloody cat just sat down on all fours and looked at it. He must be getting old; in his younger days he would have slaughtered it with vigour. The cat saw me watching him and reluctantly got up to pretend to stalk the mouse which was right in front of him. The mouse joined in the little game.... and ran under the washing machine.

    All this had taken about an hour! and I (and the cat) had had enough. So I secured the kitchen leaving the cat and the mouse in there, which I last saw scurrying under the washing machine. I then suggested to the woman of the house, "why don't we switch on the washing machine? The vibration of the machine will either scare the mouse out or crush it."

    "Noooooooo!" she whined. "That would be nasty!"

    Sigh. Why oh why do wimmen find mice scary, yet don't like getting rid of them via the cat's jaws or rat poison? I have left the cat and mouse to their little game and the mouse may still be under the machine, or may have escaped from the house by that route somehow. The living room is safe again however and soft wooden wedges have been rammed under the doors to block the entry of mice. Tomorrow morning I expect the mouse to have disappeared or to be lying there dead. With a very smug looking cat beside it.

    I will never understand women... :roll:
     
  2. Dunkers --I think your Cat gets fed too much!!


    I 'll lend you mine-- I saw her once catching three mice in a oner

    One in her mouth -one in each front set of claws-- no prob!! all dead!

    I hope you do get the mouse --and his pals-- cos they eat your house electric cables insulation and usually breed quickly too.


    As for frightened females --I think its something to do with the mouse jumping and getting on them. Mice don't usually jump!!
     
  3. my worst memory from being a child is thanks to a mouse,

    I'd been keeping my mum company at her place of work, we got home and the house was in darkness. as I walked along the corridor to get to the light switch I felt a crunch under foot.

    I reached the light switch and turned it on, then yes did the girly thing of letting out an almighty scream.

    I'd managed to stand on a mouse's head, crushing its skull but not killing it, cue half dead mouse covered in blood and twitching.........Lucky a quick thinking and much more brutle minded mother, taking a saucepan lid to the the poor mouses head and finishing it off.

    To this day I can't sleep unless the landing light is on and won't walk around any house in the dark!
     
  4. You see .. there is a mouse epidemic going on!
     
  5. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    I have a shotgun and am quite happy to attend anyones front room or kitchen with it and sort out the mouse problem. I would require that a disclaimer be signed absolving me from any damage caused
     
  6. Another mouse horror story (in my book at least). I'd just come out of Haslar after having had my knees done (both). I was propped up on the sofa in the conservatory feeling pretty miserable especially as my youngest had switched the TV off and refused to give me the remote (he paid for it dearly later).

    Suddenly I hear one of those screams so well described by Dunkers above coming from my wife. I forgot my legs were U/S and leapt up, remembered half way up, shouted Oh Fuck and came crashing down on my boys train set. At this point I'm laying there screaming even louder than the wife when, eyes shunt in white pain, I ask [not so politely] what's the problem. She says "a mouse, I saw a mouse". Turned out to be a door mouse - tiny little harmless thing who also had the shit scared out of him. Ran out of the house like a thing possessed. Swear I saw wheel spin! Whole thing set me back about two weeks in the recovery stakes.

    I hate mice [cause I'm not allowed to hate the wife].

    SF
     
  7. Did you see the news last week? You are never more than 10 feet away from a rat!
     
  8. Dear, dear me... all this fuss over a little mouse going about its daily routine. 0800-1200 to scran, 1201-1500 run around house scaring females, wink at cats, look cute, 1501 escape, ablutions, 1700 bonk, 1900 sleep... It's only a mouse! :roll:

    I have a regular visitor: my back garden is larger than the others on my road because the semi-mature trees in my garden (21 in all) have a TPO on them so no more terraced houses could be built on the site. As a result I have lots of urban wildlife: foxes, newts, frogs, spiders, hedgehods, cats and yes, little, cute looking brown fieldmice! I don't know how they get in but I have one regular customer: he gets put outside and always returns! I call him (unimaginativly) Mousey. My extensive cabling linking all my hifi components is intact, as I checked it recently whilst installing a seperate DAC for my CD transport - so obviously he isn't into cables when other goodies are available! :lol:

    Both my sister and me are nonchallant about mice in the house, but my mother too is a bit paranoid. Like Dunkers mother she wants them out of the house but unharmed by my old cat, Jasper, who is living in comfortable retirement with her. :roll:

    So perhaps it is just some women, or perhaps most women?
     
  9. Rosina said: Did you see the news last week? You are never more than 10 feet away from a rat!

    Ten feet? I had no bleeding feet!

    SF
     
  10. In that case did you see the semi naked woman in a perspex container full of take away food and about 10 rats running over her! How nauseous did that make me feel!
     
  11. Thank you Janner for your kind offer of mouse-extermination by shotgun. However this morning I was again summoned, and found the mouse lying dead in the kitchen cupboard. Probably died of fright, or something. Cleared lower deck of females then picked up the mouse and put it in the bin outside.

    So that's that. Janner I will bear in mind your ownership of a shotgun should I ever require another culling of rodents, thank you.
     
  12. Here is my patented mouse catcher. He can only do little mice at the moment!

    PS pls excuse the facilities in the background!

    [​IMG]
     
  13. Violet-grey fur or is it the lighting Rosina? I'm not sure if the puss will be too happy, having a toilet as the backdrop to Catch-A-Mouse Operations Ltd. What you need is a cowering micromouse and PO Stoker with the kitten looking contemptously over them. :roll:

    Looks very cute. I assume this is a kitten and not really the PO Stoker or Engines, and that the backdrop is inside your house and not a hut near Tor Point?

    Steve.
     
  14. Not to be talking about the PO Stoker, he is in a sulk because he has been relegated one down the pecking order!

    1. Alfredo big cat
    2. Vincenzo little cat
    3. Fabrizio tiny cat
    4. PO Stoker
     
  15. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Please pass my condolences to the SPO and let him know that a shotgun also works on cats :roll:
     
  16. How not nice is that! They are my fur babies!
     
  17. Could we have a family photo:-

    Top cat (yourself of course) complete with a mouse on your shoulder
    Alfredo (Big Cat)
    Vincenzo (Little Cat/alias the PO Stoker)
    Fabrizio (Baby Cat)
    Micromouse (the headless mouse)
    Plus extras (all the other wildlife that runs around your home without your consent)

    And no more of his talk about the PO Stoker being last in line - remember the SAS...?
     
  18. No! And the micromouse is at the landfill by now!
     
  19. Poor Micromouse. May he RIP.

    I'm afraid that it looks like the PO Stoker will have to buy a cat suit and become a cat burgular to ascend popularity stakes again! I must admit I'm beginning to wonder if the PO Stoker really exists or if he's been dumped on a wastes tip somewhere whilst the felines take over the house. 8O

    Steve.
     
  20. What an excellent idea! Trouble is the nearest landfill is miles away and I fear he would wriggle too much on the way. I would offer for you to take him off my hands but I fear he would not be your type - no beard and sooo not in touch with his feminine side.
     

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