Why are men so Happy

Discussion in 'The Gash Barge' started by Tas-ape, Aug 1, 2008.

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  1. Men Are Just Happier People—
    What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress £500 0. Tux rental-£100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. !

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about football. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

    Your underwear is £8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

    You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 in

    No wonder men are happier.

    Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it. :w00t:
  2. PMSL :thumright:

    Looks like I need a man chest, then I can enjoy the full benefits! :lol:
  3. You forgot that you can confidently scream "OFFSIDE" during SKY matches in the pub (and be right), safe in the knowledge that no female (and most Blokes) don't know the rule, but you're buggered if you can explain it !!
  4. s h i t - I've always done all that anyway - no wonder women hate me :rendeer:
  5. Five day holiday one suitcase? The same backpack I use when I go swimming does me, and that for a fortnight.
    Never but NEVER check in bags!
    Aside from that you seem to be about bang on.
  6. Because we can leave the seat up :thumright:
  7. Surely because we can leave the seat down, dribble all over it and still use it without wetting ourselves! :twisted:

    Sorry.... bad taste.... :lick:
  8. Only if you lick it clean....equally bad taste etc etc..

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