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Why Am I here?

ukdaytona

War Hero
Anyone ever sit and wonder why your actually here and what your doing in life ???

I am in a relationship thats going to rat shit in a hand cart, a house I dont want to be in but cant afford to move.

Am too old (39 next Saturday the 16th) and unfit to join the reserves and I feel that right now life is passing me by and i am achieving very little..... its one of those 'Its a Wonderful Life' times - ie if I wasnt here/had never been would it of mattered ???

OK, sorry for bringing you all down on a Friday but anyone else ever feel the same or am I having a Midlife crisis ?
 
From the sound of it , you're going through a "There's got to be more to life than this" phase.

I'd like to say you'll get over it, but not many do.
 
Its not a midlife crisis mate, you seem to be depressed, if only mildly.
Make plans to enjoy your birthday, visit some friends or family, somewhere you can relax and feel safe (I don't mean physically safe, you know the feeling, when you feel mentally safe :) ). Don't put off having critical talks with the other half, clear the air if you know what I mean. Most importantly, get yourself out amongst friends.

Have a good birthday :)
 

josiecats

War Hero
sometimes there's a catalist,,,, see if you can rember when you first felt like this,,,, maybe somthin has triggerd these emotions, we all find a time in our lives that is not good enough,,,,,, you just need to find a way of expressing your self,,,
 

ukdaytona

War Hero
Am contemplating going to the rugby next Saturday. As for the other half, had a talk the other night but hey we have a talk every couple weeks....

As she told her mum,

Im an uncaring, unloving, unsympathetic barsteward who cares more about paying the bills, keeping a roof over our heads and food in our bellies than her.....

Ah what the hell, off to the motorbike shop Sunday....
 

Jarhead

War Hero
daytona, as i learned from painful experience, it takes two to make a relationship work. you've got to work at it, she's got to work at it or it doesn't work.

her sitting back and expecting you to dote on her every move is her not working at it.

maybe try taking her to the motorbike shop with you and explain to her, maybe she'll get interested.
 

Stripey_G

War Hero
It's something we all go through matey (christ..you're only young!! wait till you get to my age!!) Actually feeling the same way at this time...relationship down the pan....dull job...wish I was somewhere else..but been through it all before and it does get better..well most of the time!! Go out, smack yer head against a brick wall, get pissed and see what happens then..Often asked myself the same question..what a I doing here?? Never get an answer mate....sorry, I know my comments don't help you none!!!
 
ukdaytona said:
Anyone ever sit and wonder why your actually here and what your doing in life ???

I am in a relationship thats going to rat shit in a hand cart, a house I dont want to be in but cant afford to move.

Am too old (39 next Saturday the 16th) and unfit to join the reserves and I feel that right now life is passing me by and i am achieving very little..... its one of those 'Its a Wonderful Life' times - ie if I wasnt here/had never been would it of mattered ???

OK, sorry for bringing you all down on a Friday but anyone else ever feel the same or am I having a Midlife crisis ?

Chin up mucker and check your PM's!!

Spen
 

Ships_Cat

War Hero
Given your age, entirely possible you're having the midlife thing. Its a change in hormones, as your body slows testosterone production, HgH etc, you had your muscular peak around 34, and you feel sort of crap. Mild depression, exacerbated by relationship and money (house) worries, leads to the 'is this all there is?"

Well there are millions of websites dealing with it all, and help if you want it, of course you'll get loads of sympathy here.. :thumright: A good drip always helps, and as Lamri suggests a few pints and a vent always seems to help, even if it doesn't do much it releases stress.

All I can say is if you feel sorry for yourself, look at people in Darfur, or kids on paediatric cancer wards, be thankful for whatever you have, nothing is ever as bad as it seems at the time. Some of the motivational website suggest exercises like listing all thats good in your life, or people that you like or want to emulate, or writing down what you want to be in 5 years. I think it might be a load of tosh, but it really does work for some people.

Chin up mate, its Friday. Crack a tinny and celebrate one more day on this rock.
 

ukdaytona

War Hero
Not feeling sorry for myself, just feel like life is passing me by. That different to feeling sorry for ones self.

I know there are alot of people worse off than me, you only gotta watch the news, cant watch the nspcc adverts either...
 

Ships_Cat

War Hero
ukdaytona said:
Not feeling sorry for myself, just feel like life is passing me by. That different to feeling sorry for ones self.

Maybe I phrased it badly. Life seems to go by quicker the older you get, and you feel like you get less done and theres never enough hours in the day. I bet the older guys can school us there....
 
Congrats on yer Birthday, it's the same date as my eldest daughters. Now dont feel sorry for yourself, get off your arrse, go down the pub and have a few beers with the lads. Your the same age as me by the way so look on the bright side of life.....Imagine what else we can fcuk up before we retire!!!! Go for it matey.
 
ukdaytona said:
Lamri said:
ukdaytona said:
cant watch the nspcc adverts either...

Mate even I want to blubb like a good'un if I catch one of those NSPCC adverts :)

Anyone who does that to kids should be put in stocks in the town centre - Justice would be served.

Thats not enough!!
It hurts me morally to say this but i'd turn totally Dr Mengele on those worthless........ I'd better stop right there ;)
 

dunkers

War Hero
By the way mate 39 is not too old to join the reserves.
The max age is 40, in fact there was someone of that age in my new entry class. :thumright:
Enjoy your birthday & take it easy. :afro:
 
The best way I find to get over a bout of mild depression is to get out and do physical activity. A long walk, local country side or coast helps. Get to the gym or have a run. Body then produces its own happy pills.

If you think life is passing you by, do something about it. Review was is important to you and concentrate on that. It was part of my reasoning to get into the Reserves and now apply for the RN full time even at my advanced age. Sports are always good no matter what your age great ways to make more friends.

Alternatively a degree? Not my bag but I know of loads in their 30s and 40s that go down this route with the OU etc. Anyhow, good luck mate. And sorry Lamri beer normally just amplifies for current mood, so may not be the best solution.
 

josiecats

War Hero
Lamri said:
ukdaytona said:
Lamri said:
ukdaytona said:
cant watch the nspcc adverts either...

Mate even I want to blubb like a good'un if I catch one of those NSPCC adverts :)

Anyone who does that to kids should be put in stocks in the town centre - Justice would be served.

Thats not enough!!
It hurts me morally to say this but i'd turn totally Dr Mengele on those worthless........ I'd better stop right there ;)
OK Devils Advocat..(yes i know lamri you can correct my spelling)
these people that do such sick things to children are monster's..
we all feel pain and god knows how .. you or i would react if it was our own children but im sure your no monster.... to bring retrobution to them you would have no soul,,, or remorse... would you be able to live knowing what you had become.......i dont think so.. your no monster,,, and yes i say this as a mother who has not had to deal with her children being hurt... so its easy for me to sit back and think reasonably....
 
Thing is Josie, you're probably dead right mate.
I'd like to think that I could get all Dr Mengele on them, but I won't even let the missus kill slugs etc in the garden :(
cos it upsets me :)
 
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