Whores how many have you banged and where

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by stan_the_man, Aug 21, 2010.

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  1. Never been much a a guy to pay for it but I confess I have been tempted on the odd occasion.
    First time Mombassa on MANCHESTER 85 got pissed and went off with one of the whores who frequented the hotels, woke up next morning in a tribal fcuking village thought I was on the breakfast menu couldn't get a fcuking taxi anywhere.

    Second time time Singapore on my birthday again MANCHESTER 86 Global the lads in the mess chipped in for me but they wanted to watch so I couln't raise a smile never mind a hard on so after taking the piss they chipped in again for a tat for me, I got two Tasmanian Devils on my arse but fell asleep during the second one as a result one is about 2 inches lower than the other and at an odd angle!!
    Woke up next morning went for a dump didn't remember having the feckers done I thought some brown hatter had done me up the shitter.

    Thought about it briefly on YORK while on patrol in the Adriatic stopped off at some shithole in the Med but when we got to the brothel there was a que so we waited and while we waited I watched all the dirty fat bastards going into the rooms so as I slowly sobered up it put me right off that some greasy wop had been banging the bitches before me so went back on the piss and probably avoided a rather nasty disease. :oops: :lol:
  2. Good evening my good man...would you be kind enough to explain how we are to interpret the word 'whore'? That will enable us to give a more informed and hopefully 'correct' answer to your worthy question.

    Kindest etc etc... 8)
  3. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    After a quick negotiation, dib dabs are exchanged and a certain amount of friction is undertaken.
  4. ok...cool - that'll be two then...Amsterdam.
  5. 32 during my first stint in the mob. Most in the Far East apart from one in Guatamala who was black and 8 months up the duff.
  6. But how many since you rejoined, Tommo?

    Do Tell :twisted:
  7. Non fella. Honestly. Mind you I've not left blighty :lol:
  8. Err ... cough ..... umm ......well .......errr ......none.
  9. Mombasa brought back nasty memories,last thing I remember was drinking in a bar,notorious but I forget the name,next thing I awoke in pitch darkness.
    I only had a few so I reckon I was Mickeyed.
    I was bollock naked and couldn't see a hand in front of my face and God knows where.
    I remembered, as Jack always did, always rolling my trousers up and shoved them under the pillow,I scrambled for them as they held a lighter.
    Found it and flicked it on only to see next to me a mountain of black heaving womanhood covered in tribal tattoos! I nearly shat myself thinking I was in the hands of the Mau Mau.
    I pulled on my gear,stumbled out and found I was in the town shanty centre,then stumbled back to the Victorious with all my payroll still in my pocket but two hours adrift.
    I still have nightmares over that,she might have been Kenya's answer to Dawn French but at least she never charged and I never caught the clap.
    What a woman.
  10. Yup, I saw the video of you performing - And I still have nightmares from it. 8O

    But you did keep your socks on, as any gentleman would have done in those days. :wink:
  11. HMS Endurance 2006-07 South America, Living the dream, I ''employed'' more women than Hugh Hefner for my needs, not forgetting making me breakfast in bed. Hard to imagine the Navy put us up in a swanky hotel, and every night I came back with a different women, some were paid and some were not..... But heyho Looking back on it im still proud and makes me smile.
  12. Oostend Belgium unsure of spelling?

    I went there when I was a Truckers mate in 2003 (All I did was read maps load and unload the trailer with the moffet). I walked around the triangle five times before selecting my window. I racked up a bill of 300 euros and said I nneded the cash point I had paid 100 euros already. She said I had to leave something valuable to make sure I came back, so I left my driving licence and never went back ha ha. (the driving licence had my old address on it).
  13. Dominican Republic 2001
    30 US Dollars for the night
    We went as a group to another hotel complex to check out the disco and talent, 2 Canadian lads and myself somehow ended up in a whorehouse, Pablo was looking after us, he said if we bought his beer all night nothing would happen to us and we could choose any girl we liked, if we didn't like her we could choose another, after several beers and groping different specimens we chose our rides and proceeded to smuggle them back into our hotel for an evening of real Punta Cana, one lad in the bedroom one in the living room and I got the bathroom, I got my moneys worth and some, on escorting them to the exit security turned up and nabbed em as whoring is not shined upon, after denying all knowledge of who these lasses were we made a pretty hasty exit through the bushes to perv another day.
  14. Feckin' Hell! Some of you guys are nuts by the sounds of some of the situations you get yourselves into in dodgy places!!!

    I reckon I would be too worried of getting the claps etc though I ain't been on a 6 month tour on a tin can so perhaps thats why I say that! Haha
  15. 15 years old, arrived Mombasa 7am with a tooth ache. 9am en route to dentist with a scouse animal known as Officers steward Fanthorpe.
    Arrived city hall for Mr Andrews the dentist who was not there. Told to return at 1400 so he took me to a bar and the festivities began. Ended up with a divs bird clad in leather and thought all my birthdays had arrived.
    She rag bagged and shagged me, munched my bunch, introduced me to pile driving, and not a condom in sight.
    We swapped half way through and arrived at the dentists late to be told he still had not arrived, so we were safe from the joss.

    What still puzzles me to this day is that O/S Fanthorpe squeezed up and I never. Also he paid,the lot cost 30 Kenyan Shillings. 8O :D
    And crossing threads, it was HMS Cavalier that we took off the Beria patrol in May 68. :)

  16. Dont worry mate, im sure you will have your fair share of stories.
  17. I'll tell one of the 32 stories.

    I was out on a run ashore in Patpong in Bangkok with lads from the mess, as you do on deployment. One of the clubs down the main strip our mess took over was called "Super Queens" luckily for us it wasn't the type of "queens" people automatically think off.

    So there we were drinking in this club watching the strippers fire darts at other strippers with balloons. They weren't very good shots when they finally burst one we all cheered!

    Anyways I had my eye on this cute little 21 year old mama san (she was a young woman in charge of these women). After chatting to her and trying her trying to get me to spend my money on one of the other women, I finally broke her and we went into one of the back rooms.

    The room was not the most luxurious of rooms but it had a bed and a shower and that was all I needed. She took the obligortory shower with me washed me down and led me to the bed.

    Well I started to do the business like a pornstar on the bed despite being quite full of alcohol. I, however didn't noticed in the door was a big hole stuffed with a towel to prevent anyone looking through. Well this didn't stop any of the lads and matelots being matelots quietly pulled the towel out and looked in. Moments later the cries of "Go on Tommo my son, go on" came through the hole. I tried to continue but the lady I was with wasn't having any of it, and she got up and put another towel back in. She came back and I got on the job once more.

    Again moments later this happened again and the cries of "go on Tommo, my son, go on" came through the hole from various lads.

    This continued for another 4 or 5 times, until they seemed to give up. Eventually I finished the job and got showered once more with her and went back to the lads with cheers upon my arrival.

    Well, the next morning I've got myself ready for work, overalls up to my waist, with the arms wrapped round, sat in the mess square with my coffee (cushions up for obvious reasons), ready to turn to for a bit of working on the mighty Sea Dart section. As I sipped on my coffee, I noticed there was some Frankie Vaughan on the TV (porn to the young lads on here). "Excellent" I thought "Nice bit of Frankie before work". As I continued to watch I started to recognise the white ass pumping up and down. It was mine. The fookers had recorded me throught the hole in the door.

    I was impressed with myself especially with the state I was in. Somewhere in the fleet is a VHS tape with me on it. (Although I think by now most VHS' would've been ditched by now with dvd's being the currently viewing technology).
  18. Bulgaria 04' Decided to treat myself to an early Birthday present.

    Got in a taxi and simply said 'Girls'. First bar was severely poor quality, so back into the same taxi and said 'Good Girls'.

    After 20 or so minutes driving through countless back roads, we begin up what seems like a long drive to a large house. Walk in, pimp lines up girls, the lads pick theirs and disappear, I am left with the choice of 8 eastern European lovelies and a couple of oriental ladies.

    I decided that as I had already consumed a skinful it would be prudent to have the company of 2 women to prevent any 'Brewers Droop'. Xtina Applegate and Xtina Agguilerra lookalikes escort me to my room for the night (thank god for lazy Sunday routines).

    Whilst enjoying being washed by two women who couldn't understand a word I was saying I decided to begin exploration. :D

    Somehow (I believe alcohol and their sheer professionalism) I was some sort of sexual God! Screams (Im guessing fake) much moistness, and promises of breakfast and marriage to come to the UK. I parted with the cost of only one Pro and was driven back to the ship and 'kissed' goodbye by Xtina Applegate, all before 0800.

    They are my only two Pro's. After that night I think anything else may well fall far short of what I expect.
  19. I remember a certain trip down the cages in Bombay three of us climbed up the partition between cubicles. Its dark as the lights are on the top of the partitions so above is blocked out by the light to anyone in the cubicles.
    It was from this vantage point we sat and watched the Leading Hand of our mess perform his royal command performance. This young Indian bint was fluffing around (pre marathon) and Jan is busy pissing in her glass of mouth wash.
    As he nears the end of his blow job, she senses the impending eruption and tries to pull him out. Jan is having none of this and clamps the back of her head like a fuckin limpet mine, until he has drained himself into her mouth.
    As soon as he recons she's swallowed, evident by the screaming she is now producing, he lets her go. She immediately swills her mouth out with neat piss, at which point we all dropped in to congratulate him.

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