who says cricket is dull?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by golden_rivet, Jul 28, 2007.

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  1. “Sidebottom is adjusting some of his protective equipment under his trousersâ€
    Radio 4 11.10 28th July 2007


    :bball: :bball: :bball: :bball: :bball:
    :thumright:







    edited to add a questionmark at the end of the title
     
  2. I used to live a few doors down from a cricket club when I was a burn. We used to go watch the cricket at a weekend, esp on a sunday, as we'd get a free lunch (not cheeky at all).

    I always wondered why, when playing cricket, the bowler rubs tht lovely shiny, red ball up against his crotch :thumright:
     
  3. So JD, you were once a small stream? Or did you mean bairn, a small child? ^~
     
  4. The child one, who caeres, I got free ice cream!
     
  5. "Let the balls do your talking for you" 15.03


    :thumright:
     
  6. Couldn't watch cricket , bores me bloody rigid , and how people listen to it on the radio , well words fail me , yyyyaaaaaawwwwwwnnnnnnnnnn
     
  7. I'm with you dondon. Takes too long, language is weird and sitting there watching bugger all going on for that long would put me to sleep.

    SF
     
  8. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Agree, the atmosphere at a cricket match is so exciting you could cut it with a stump... :roll:
     
  9. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Brian Johnson Cricket Bloopers

    "Ray Illingworth has just relieved himself at the pavilion end."

    "Welcome to Worcester where you've just missed seeing Barry Richards hitting one of Basil D'Oliveira's balls clean out of the ground."

    And don't forget Ritchie Benaud: "He's usually a good puller - but he couldn't get it up that time."

    A little less tilde-ishly, there are always Tony Grieg's gems:

    "In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the piss and mitch one."

    "Lloyd's talking to his slippers."

    "And Jajeda is dijappointed...Jadeja is ji..da..I'll come again, Jajeda..okay Jadeja looks downcast. "

    But one who seeks to capture the real spirit of cricket must turn to Tony Benneworth:

    "It's been very slow and dull day, but it hasn't been boring. It's been a good, entertaining day's cricket." EXACTLY!! 8O
     
  10. So glad I'm not the only one who finds it Realy Exciting {not} . :whew: :whew:
     
  11. Another great gaff from Johnners.

    "The Batsman's Holding.The bowler's Willie"
     
  12. I can't believe I'm the only person who spends their sundays out on the crease. How many sports exist where you can go for lunch half way through a match and have a pint? It's a beautiful game, couldn't listen to it on the radio though.
     
  13. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Darts, snooker, pool... :wink:
     
  14. At least we're hardy enough to be outside. Unless rain stops play, or the sun goes in. Suppose we're not that hardy really. Still we do look rather spiffing in our whites:)
     
  15. Cricket with a baton and a rubber band ball is hours of fun on watch! Just don't get caught in the SCC!
     
  16. CRICKET AS EXPLAINED TO A FOREIGN VISITOR

    You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When both sides have been in and out including the not outs...

    THAT'S THE END OF THE GAME!

    [align=center]-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[/align]

    [align=center]8 Famous Cricket Sledges[/align]

    1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"


    2. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes: During a 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed: "You can't f***ing bat". Smith replied to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f***ing bat & you can't f***ing bowl."


    3. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad: During the 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed. "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.


    4. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards: During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. Eventually Viv said, "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl."

    Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k off."


    5. Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga: Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel Nine microphones when Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat b****rd!!!"


    6. Shane Warne & Daryll Cullinan: As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting two years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.


    7. Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes: After Brandes played & missed at a McGrath delivery, the Aussie bowler politely enquired: "Oi, Brandes, why are you so fat?"

    Brandes retorted, "Cos every time I f**k your wife she gives me a biscuit".


    8. Ricky Ponting & Shaun Pollock: After going past the outside edge with a couple of deliveries, Pollock told Ponting: "It's red, round & weighs about 5 ounces." Unfortunately for Pollock, the next ball was hammered out of the ground for a 6. Ponting yelled to Pollock: "you know what it looks like, now go and f*****g find it."
     
  17. dunjamon wrote: How many sports exist where you can go for lunch half way through a match and have a pint?

    If you didn't watch it at all you could go on the piss all day.

    SF
     
  18. Also that wonderful language that foreigners don't understand! Jimmy G just gave a brief insight.

    When I lived in London, I used to go Home to see widowed Mum about every 3 weeks. The, then, wife used to insist on going to see her Dad in Glossop. If Derbyshire playing anybody was televised, it was a complete waste of bloody time! Not a word!
     
  19. Cricket gets me out of the missus's way minus any mithering on a sunday. So for that I love the game, it's easier to say I'm taking part in sport than saying I'm off to the pub go walk round ikea on your own. What can I say? I'm weak, like most the lads on our team.
     
  20. Oh Gloom! Cricket! Oh Help me please...
    To me the damn game has about as much appeal as that other English product, the Austin Maxi!
    Now, in an effort to 'glamourise' the game they get dressed in dodgy gear and sort of paint themselves up like some kind of aboriginal warrior, which they most certainly are not.
    Ok fine it is quintessentially English but then so was the Austin Maxi, or, better still the Austin Princess.
    A step relation of mine used to play for Leicestershire and I still cringe when I hear that accent - no intent to offend of course, but given the subject I honestly wouldn't care if I did.
    See you later mi' ducks...
     

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