Who killed JR?


War Hero
This is the time of year that all the soaps do the crappy crimbo endings, Fcuksake, my house is in mourning, Mrs blobbs and the Blobbettes are besides themselves that some fcukwit has been clubbed over the head and has been left in a coma or someones been caught shagging out of watch and they wont find out what happens to finish the story until mid January next year.

So, lets have a bit of realism to the storylines for once eh?

I'm sure the lads n lasses of RR can come up with a few credible crimbo storylines that actually mirror the real world for these soaps to use. I'll start it off then....

Neighbours, Ramsey St.

Just as all them ozzies are slapping each other on the back and firing up the barbie because the crimbo break has arrived a big fcuk off jumbo jet ploughs into Ramsey street after getting blown up and really spoils the day......

=-( :)
I'd love to see Dot Cotton rise from the dead and terrorise Albert Square as a fucking a zombie.

Finally there'd be a stand off with people locked in the Queen Vic, until the Army arrive in full NBC kit and torch the whole of Walford and all it's residents.

Merry fucking Christmas you cockney caaaaaaarrrrrrrnts!

Please can we have a One-off straight-to-DVD rug-munchers special,
featuring these two bean-flickers going at it big style after a good
night out on the Bacardi and rohypnol? Enough mysterious murders,
batterings, babies in phone boxes and tram-crashes. Even better in
Peter Barlow is an ex submariner, an alcoholic and he's shagging out
of watch, and he owns a bookies? Hardly a stretch of the imagination
if you think about it.

Now lets get down to some oiled-up girle l-u-r-r-r-ve.

How about a modern version of "Scrooge" ... the part of Scrooge played by a PO Caterer (or what ever they are called in todays Navy) - Tiny Tim played by a 6' 12" Stoker with tats and a samson bar who's ovies are open to the waist (Females can apply for this part!)

Any suggestions for the Ghosts of Christmas Past/Present/Future??????


Lantern Swinger
Any suggestions for the Ghosts of Christmas Past/Present/Future??????
Past - Denis Healy
Present - The current SOS Def - Whoever he/she is today
Future - Well you've got me there - Depends if there is any armed forces in the future?

Edited cos i didnt read the post properly
Last edited:


War Hero


Who killed JR? Which JR? Is it JD's heroic Sister?
Sadly no, she was killed in a train accident. Her brother was a bit busy that day and wasn't on hand to save her.

You have however got me thinking, hasn't Eastenders got a train bridge going over the market? It would be great if a train fell off it on to the market killing loads of people.
In my day JR was used in context with hand movements of some sort!Never fully understood it but I can't help with the dit as,hand on heart,I've never seen a soap thing in my life.
Corrie,Eastenders,Emmerdale plus all the rest, never ever watched one them although I did watch The Bill for a while until it got silly with PC gay and Gender story lines.
It may have been true to life but it wasn't for me.
The wife's not one for soaps either,Midsomer Murders for her and anything violent,preferably from the USA,Shield,Rescue Me etc works for me.
In my day JR was used in context with hand movements of some sort! Never fully understood it ....

I haven't heard it used for many years but your 'hand movement' JR was probably the rhyming slang 'J Arthur.......'.

Shortened from the olden days when most decent films commenced with his echoing gong...

Perhaps I wasn't clear,I should have said two hands[in my dreams!] and sometimes changing hands without missing a beat.
That was the talk of the Messdeck after a long spell at sea,sometimes as much as two or three days before up came that conversation!
I messed with some dirty sods!


War Hero
Book Reviewer
I reckon a Corrie/'stenders cross over could be massively entertaining. Exchange the "characters" from each soap. Lahndaners in Manchester and Manky Mancs in Lahndan. Fisticuffs, murder, mayhem, disease... just a normal Christmas then.

God I hate soap operas.
Can never see the point in soaps. Who would ever want to live in "Eastenders" ffs ... its so depressing! Everyone is either Gay/Raving/Drunk?shagging someone other than their other half/Bent/On the Make/Game etc. They should do what the South African's did with the townships in Cape Town and bulldoze the lot! And while they are at it they can continue and bulldoze Ramsey St/Coronation St and the Fcking Woolpack. My mother scarred me for life as she watched the damn thing religiously while I was a kid. Going by the body count in Midsummer Murders which is normally higher than an Arnie (The Governator) movie then perhaps they can rename the whole lot Midsummer Woolford or whereever these places are and have a mad axeman take the lot of the feckless sods out!

Who shot JR ... who cares ... just give the bloke a medal!

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