@Merman - Ignore the green-eyed naesayers, Younker, just go ahead and indulge yourself with nothing less than a top quality sword.
Alternatively, imagine that Bates Wardroom Cartoon with all & sundry creased up & ROTFL at: "The brash young thruster who bought himself a cheapo sword..."
After your doubtlessly long & glorious career an inferior sword
(set atop your Union Flag draped coffin alongside your multitude of Ks, other jewel encrusted decorations and scrambled-egg/salt caked Thieves 'n Porks titfer) will cause shock & horror amongst hundreds of weeping mourners as you are slowly propelled to your final resting place alongside that other RN immortal at St. P, EC4M 8AD.
Following its final funeral-cake-cutting ceremony at your crowded wake that treasured weapon enjoys an exalted status as The Family Heirloom. Do you really want downstream offsprings jostling for possession to discover that their illustrious benefactor had left them only tat?? What would Arthur Negus have said, FFS?
Top Tips for C & M.
1. Take revolving doors at the rush, unlike its inferiors an unsheathed, good quality, sword blade will readily spring back into shape.
2. At impromptu BBQs, gaily slice the tops from Lidls finest Cava/ Prosecco... Afterwards, a good quality sword is a must for spearing-up those discarded burgers, Scrumpy or Stella tinnies and other unsightly debris whilst others sweep up the broken glass and do the washing up.
3. Following every apple, lemon, or cake-cutting ceremonies, various, never clean the blade. The acidity will etch away that revoltingly shiny new surface, adding a cool patina to enhance its provenance.
4. Never ever coat the blade with Vaseline or Vic, both are far too messy. No doubt you've already found K-Jelly to be quite effective, apply lashings of that to the shiny surfaces instead. (Other water-based lubricants are available from Pusser - See your friendly Logs colleagues for the NSN.)
5. A good Q item is quite acceptable for a cash advance at any branch of 'Uncles' but leave the pawn ticket in the safe custody of your current squeeze. After all. she'll always be waiting at the Jetty when you return from that prolonged deployment, won't she?
5. Pre-use: Soak the knot, belt & straps in Britains finest coastal sea water for 48 hrs before tumble-drying on high for thirty minutes. This removes all traces of 'Sprog Shine', showing others that you are not wet behind the ears, only you know that truth.
Finally - At your CM draw a Pussers Issue Sword on Temporary Loan beforehand. When the Guilty verdict is reached at least it won't be
your sword which has been sullied by pointing itself at you...
BOB the blade