When is it neglect ??

Discussion in 'Current Affairs' started by ukdaytona, May 16, 2007.

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  1. I have a question for all you folks who are parents. In the aftermath of the disappearance of the little girl in Portugal have any of you EVER gone out and left your children at home unattended ??

    I am not having a go at her parents but am finding it hard to understand how they could leave three young children in a strange property without making sure there was sufficient supervision. OK they were going back on a 'regular' basis to check they were alright but what is a 'regular basis'??

    Is it just me that does not understand why the parents did this or not ?

    I am not a parent so cannot speak from experience I can only ask the question. We also now have the grandparents lobbying parliament to use their power to bring the little girl home - HOW CAN THEY WHEN NO ONE KNOWS WHERE SHE IS ???

  2. Yes it is just you. If/when you are lucky enough to be a parent you will understand.
  3. So if i read your point right F169, you are happy to leave very young children in an unfamiliar place on there own while you go out with friends to eat / drink ???

    Forgive me if i read your post wrong but that is how it reads.
  4. My ex and myself always kept a eye on the kids, it's one of the costs of parenthood having your social life restricted, and if we went on a rare night out, the Grandparents looked after them for us.

    As much as I have very much sympathy for the parents of this poor girl but far more the children, calling back on a 'regular' basis is not looking after your kids.

    And I'm sceptical that they 'called back' at the half hourly intervals I read somewhere, so this is a neglect of one sort, is it not ?.
  5. The poor mite could have as easily been snatche from many a home in the UK whilst the parents were sitting watching TV. Did the parents check them any less than they would have done if they had been at home or even in their holiday home. If they had been watching a noisy programme on the box would they have noticed.
  6. Maxi, your point is valid to a degree.

    Surely if your sat watching telly in your own home would you not hear someone walking in through the door, up the stairs going into your childs bedroom, along the landing, down stairs and out the door all the time assuming of course the child does not scream or make a noise ???
  7. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Everyone has 20/20 vision with hindsight... 8O
  8. As a parent I know just how quickly a child can do something stupid - finger in socket fall down stairs etc - for that reason alone they should have someone there on the spot loking after them.

    We all bring 'em up different but I personally would NEVER leave kids alone in a house, remember there where younger twins as well in the house??
  9. The problem with taking a holiday often means that you are more relaxed than you would normally be. The parents were probably too trusting and possibly thought that there was no danger in leaving their children unattended for a short time. However even in high class family friendly resorts crime does happen. Unfortunately it only takes moments to steal a child from a room.
    We cannot impose our own standards on others but with young children aged 2 and almost 4 it does not seem right to leave them alone in strange surroundings where even if they woke up and nothing had happenned they would have become extremely distressed.
  10. OK so let's hope we are proved wrong this time?
  11. My daughter has monitoring equipment in her youngest child's bedroom. it is so sensitive that it even monitors the child's breathing. In her lounge she has the receiver. It is amazing how good this cheap bit of kit is (about £50). Both front and back doors are locked when the children are in bed and the front door bolted on the inside so that should one of the kids wake in the night and try to go outside they are unable to.
  12. A fair number of people get burgled just that way every year, and the hint is it seems they think the kidnapper got in through the kids room window. I am not condoning what the parents did, but perhaps they actually 'checked' their kids more often than if they ahd been in the flat.

    I have been to Praia de Luz a couple of times and the atmosphere is very 'non risky' and relaxed.
  13. Thought it was illiegal to leave your children home alone for any period of time if they were under 13??? Any crushers out there to clarify?

    On the flip side lets hope she is found safe & well.
  14. Good point SB! What constitutes abandonment?
  15. As I have been trying to point out, what is actually neglect is a grey area, and any way this was Portugal. What parent has not put young kid to bed and gone next door for a cup of tea, is that neglect, what parent has put a kid to bed and not checke them till they went to bed at the end of the late film 6 hours later, is that neglect, what parent hasn't gone to bed at midnight and not checked the little darlings till 8 the next morning when they get up. In all those cases it is possible for the child to be abducted, so are they all neglect.
  16. I agree with everything youve said here. And when i hear about it i now just simply turn the channel over or turn the radio off.
    At the end of the day look at the poor children that have been abducted from these day go countrys such as Greece, they never dragged their stories out and still to this day have never been reunited with their children!
    Having said this though, my heart does go out for the poor, scared witless children that have been unfortunatly seperated from their parents.
  17. This was certainly not abandonment, it was an error of judgement and unfortunately the parents will have to live with this mistake for the rest of their lives. I do hope that the little girl is found and is well and unharmed, however this is looking less and less likely as time goes on.
  18. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

  19. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    You can leave a child aged 16 (the age they become a young adult) on their own.

    Below that age is a bit of a grey area because the law does not really say. You can leave children for short periods (no ages defined for this) but the law gives no guidance as to what is reasonable and what is unreasonable. So, for example, you could possibly leave a 15 year old overnight without being charged with child abandonment, but if they set fire to the house and you get caught, you could face charges.

    Similarly, with younger kids, it is largely a matter of parental responsibility and a sensible approach - you might be able to leave an eight year old for a couple of hours, but doing the same with a toddler or baby would be very much frowned upon and could lead to criminal charges.

    This answer probably isn't very helpful, but to be fair, neither is the legislation!

    At what age can a child be left home alone?
  20. If you've got kids, you have to have it all the time.

    The question is WHY did they not take advantage of the night service?,
    both are medical professionals, obviously reasonably comfortable, there should have been no reason not to take this service, and as has been pointed out, there were other children there also.

    Being relaxed is not an excuse, the priorities, when you have children is the children, until such time as they are off your hands and able to fend for themselves.

    Harsh ? yes, but it is a harsh world with all sorts of bad happenings, which makes it even more important that you look after those unable to look after themselves - ie the children !

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