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When I am Prime Minister.

tug1970

Lantern Swinger
Leader coukd I make a suggestion what about the death sentence for Chavs, pj wearing shoppers, Also long sentences for being crab or ex crab.
yours faithfully
Tug

PS can I be the Law and order enforcer :D :D :D :D :D
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Book Reviewer
tug1970 said:
...PS can I be the Law and order enforcer :D :D :D :D :D

No! Because... 8O :twisted:

 

tug1970

Lantern Swinger
Montigny-La-Palisse said:
tug1970 said:
ah shucks oh well. :D :D can we rovoke womans rights? :D :D

Sharia Law then?

Nah just dont think us men are equal anymore and me ex is hastling me. It was a moment of madness. We men need to be in charge. Yes dear I comming :D :D :D
 
G

guestm

Guest
I have a reccomendation for the Sportds minister, whoever it is should enforce IED Football. 2 random IEDs placed somewhere on the pitch, one in each half.

Make the cunts earn their money, increase ratings and make me chuckle.
 

Stirling

Banned
Remove the target culture from the NHS, thus getting rid of all the admin staff appointed by Labour since they came to power and put the money where it is really needed on Doc's and nursing staff.
 
G

guestm

Guest
Sterling_Stirling said:
Remove the target culture from the NHS, thus getting rid of all the admin staff appointed by Labour since they came to power and put the money where it is really needed on Doc's and nursing staff.

And make Nurses female only, fitter and with tiny whore dresses.
 

R077

MIA
2_deck_dash said:
Since we are all pretty fed up with the current government and it looks almost certain that we are going to be dicked with a blue re-incarnation of New Labour sometime this year, I thought I would start planning my political career so that when the next elections come round, I will be ready to stand for PM.

So my policies:

Make trespassing a criminal rather than civil offence, result = bye bye pikey scum. They did this in Ireland and it forced all the pikeys over here.

Leave NATO and the EU. Re-strengthen our ties with the Commonwealth both economically and militarily. A global force that includes us, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Malaysia, India and Singapore would be difficult to fuck with. Priority for trade, International aid, military assistance etc. would go to fellow members. Eventually we would invade Zimbabwe and sort out the mess there as well.

Re-instate floating prisons with harsher and longer sentences for repeat offenders. A penal colony on the Falkland Islands should also be established for violent offenders. Anyone in prison will not be allowed TVs or any luxury items. You gave up your Human rights the day you committed your crime, deal with it.

Increase our Defence Budget to 5% of our GDP, we will need a big fuck off Army and Navy to maintain our stronghold in the New Commonwealth.

Review the benefits system with serial dole scroungers being forced into community service and the Armed Forces.

Abolish all Health & Safety legislation and instate core safety practices for dangerous working environments only, you do not fucking need to do a course on how to sit at a computer desk. Also if you are stupid enough to be killed through your own negligence then you deserve it. This is called natural selection, a man called Charles Darwin wrote some interesting words on it a few years back.

Disband the Fire Brigade. The Armed Forces have proved time and again that they can do your job cheaper and better than you, so stop whinging about pay you cunts. Fire Stations will be manned by Soldiers and Sailors who are between tours. It will be treated the same as any other draft or posting, this will in turn boost recruitment to the Armed Forces. Existing Fire fighters will be given the option to transfer to the Armed Forces with subsequent pay adjustments etc.

Disband the Scottish Assembly, we are one Country, get over it.



If anyone has any further questions or points they feel need raising, feel free to post them here and I will answer them in a PMQs style.

Every gentleman's dispute shall NOT be sorted via discussion, rather fisticuffs out back. Nothing bonds men quicker than some self-inflicted violence.

All foreigners should have to participate in an ultra violent version of Funhouse, chased by a fully naked, sh!t smeared and aroused Pat sharpe through a tunnel of 'balloons'. The funhouse ends in a garbage trawler set for the Arctic.

All mongs shall be subjected to the retard Bowl (montigny LP et al., 2009). Those dropped from a height of 50ft or more that do not bounce or laugh immediately after impact shall be set on fire live on TV. The remainder shall fight to the death with nowt but nappies and rubber mallets. The winner/survivor gets the glory of riding the mong tiger into the Amazonian rainforest to live a life amongst their fellow beasts.
 

2_deck_dash

War Hero
R077 said:
Every gentleman's dispute shall NOT be sorted via discussion, rather fisticuffs out back. Nothing bonds men quicker than some self-inflicted violence.

All foreigners should have to participate in an ultra violent version of Funhouse, chased by a fully naked, sh!t smeared and aroused Pat sharpe through a tunnel of 'balloons'. The funhouse ends in a garbage trawler set for the Arctic.

All mongs shall be subjected to the retard Bowl (montigny LP et al., 2009). Those dropped from a height of 50ft or more that do not bounce or laugh immediately after impact shall be set on fire live on TV. The remainder shall fight to the death with nowt but nappies and rubber mallets. The winner/survivor gets the glory of riding the mong tiger into the Amazonian rainforest to live a life amongst their fellow beasts.

I hereby appoint you Chancellor of the Exchequer.
 

R077

MIA
2_deck_dash said:
R077 said:
Every gentleman's dispute shall NOT be sorted via discussion, rather fisticuffs out back. Nothing bonds men quicker than some self-inflicted violence.

All foreigners should have to participate in an ultra violent version of Funhouse, chased by a fully naked, sh!t smeared and aroused Pat sharpe through a tunnel of 'balloons'. The funhouse ends in a garbage trawler set for the Arctic.

All mongs shall be subjected to the retard Bowl (montigny LP et al., 2009). Those dropped from a height of 50ft or more that do not bounce or laugh immediately after impact shall be set on fire live on TV. The remainder shall fight to the death with nowt but nappies and rubber mallets. The winner/survivor gets the glory of riding the mong tiger into the Amazonian rainforest to live a life amongst their fellow beasts.

I hereby appoint you Chancellor of the Exchequer.

A role I shall fulfil with utmost dignity and respect for my peers and fellow man.
 

jesse

War Hero
: :protest: The only reason I'm a bit dubious about giving you my vote is that on past threads you have been disparaging regarding "Gash Hands :!: " As one of many who made a career as a gash hand I must enquire as to your attitude towards our worthy brotherhood should you be elected. :?: We gash hands past and present make valuable contributions :!: For instance, who else could a head of department detail off for things like the Padres hour :?: Grant us late turn too, early secure, unlimited makers with leave and bring back the tot and you can have my vote. :x
 
jesse said:
: :protest: The only reason I'm a bit dubious about giving you my vote is that on past threads you have been disparaging regarding "Gash Hands :!: " As one of many who made a career as a gash hand I must enquire as to your attitude towards our worthy brotherhood should you be elected. :?: We gash hands past and present make valuable contributions :!: For instance, who else could a head of department detail off for things like the Padres hour :?: Grant us late turn too, early secure, unlimited makers with leave and bring back the tot and you can have my vote. :x

If you get in the cabinet, then you can carry on as you were!! Own rules.
 

2badge_mango

War Hero
2_deck_dash said:
2badge_mango said:
Where do I sign? :D

2BM

Thanks for your support 2BM, a nice Lordship will be winging it's way in the post to shortly!

Thank you Prime Minister.
As, thus far, I am the only verified member of the NEW Upper House, could you please enclose an expenses claim form with the Title , and directions as to whom it should be referred for immediate payment. :D

I choose for my Title - Lord Toobadge of Mangotsfield. :lol:

Yours nobly,

2BM

PS. By virtue of precedence, do I get to be Leader in the House of Peers? :roll:
 

(granny)

RIP
Book Reviewer
As one of the 'oldest', and may I say one of the most illustrious, members of RR, may I apply for the position of 'Leader of the House'? (That way I will grant myself immunity from the 'over60's driving exam ;) )
 

hamisatypeofcheese

Lantern Swinger
You get my vote 2DD.

I would like to raise a suggestion also. As aforementioned by the right honorable 2DD, a colony on the Falkland's for particularly violent offenders would be an excellent idea. But why not double up the Falkand's colony as a holiday resort for hunting said offenders, thus creating more revenue for the government?

EDIT: And those on the dole repeatedly without making any signs of looking for work should be compulsory drug tested. If they are found to have been spending the governments money on drugs they shall serve as minesweepers in areas of risk.
 
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