When did you see your first blue movie

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by stan_the_man, Dec 11, 2009.

Welcome to the Navy Net aka Rum Ration

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial RN website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. :lol:
    I saw mine in 1973 aged sweet 16 on the Charybdis in Copenhagen. I was a cherry boy from the back of beyond spent my fortnights pay (and a bit more!!!) in the porn coin slots and litte movie houses fcuking brills couldn't wait to get back onboard and crack one off. Didn't even have fcuking pubes then!!. We had to go ashore in rig abroad in those early days, fcuking cinemas were full of dirty old men and not all of em were ships company!!!
    Went back to Copenhagen in 75 and had my one and only foriegn run ashore with my big brother before he went outside and became a tosser, he was on TIGER I was still under age and the fcuker got me back at 0230 didn't know he'd briefed the QM before we went ashore. :x I was DHP and had to be in the potwash by 0600 tw*t he still laughs about it now. Good run ashore and I love Lowenbrau and Tuborg.
  2. I used to rob my loder brothers big hairy fanny porn when I was about 7 or 8 I think. You know, the old arty farty French jizz flicks with bizarre 60's soundtracks. Quality. It was a right step up from trying to tug my tiny bald genitalia to the lingerie sections of Freeman's and Grattan's.
  3. 1988 aged 14 round a mates house one Saturday afternoon. Instant wood followed by an overwhelming desire to grip my little fella round the neck, although I managed to hold back until I got home and had a "memory [email protected]".

    Good job, too. My mate is now a raging queen - I dread to think how that day might have turned out!

    Can't remember the name of the movie but the lead role was a character called "Peaches" who got into all sorts of scrapes (including a hot enema at one point). If there are any afficionados of Classic Porn out there who know this movie I'd love to find it again.
  4. Hamburg as a 16 year old. Been sent for sea training on the Hermes. It was a rig run as well. All I can say is the Reeperbahn rocks.
  5. Why the hell is Freeman's blocked by the swear filter? It wasn't that bad.
  6. LOL!

    Mum never figured out why I always had a catalogue in my bedroom!

    8O Fcuk 8O
  7. Squinting trying to make out thepubes under the lace? Yup, that was me too.
  8. Miami Spice (good 80s one that hot chicks ferraris and lots on spunktastic action) could't get a free trap in the PO's shithouse for about an hour after that had been on. The Bish used to watch in our mess free beer and off to his cabin to crack one off.
  9. about 13 year old my older bro's frankie in which the mother bangs her death and dumb son i remember it like it was yesterday
    no wonder im an upsatanding member of society
  10. :cry:
    Spent the entire visit in a police cell after a really hoofing run ashore down the garages , kicked off in a bar afterwards when we dripped about the bill, some of the more younger lads had been lashing the waitreses up and the fcuking bill was astronomical stupid knuts. BouNcers had arms like Popeye, cops broke my jaw with a baton.
  11. Mine was a dodgy as fcuk grainy German video that my mate robbed from his dad's collection and gave to me. It had some divs lesbians on it in red stillettos. Half way through a German ladyboy got raped with a strap on by another lesbian and there was even a fat midget involved somewhere. To this day it was the best porno I have ever seen and I have trouble getting off to anything more tame because of it.

    I have no idea what it was called, worryingly it disapeared and maybe hiding in my mum's video collection somewhere after she tidied it up and put it amongst the Disney films.
  12. I know where you're coming from. A lifetime of outrage porn and shagging experimental whores has nullified my taste for straight up inners and outers. Nowadays, if it isn't extremely debauched it bores me.

    Roll on the day when Sky TV starts showing amputee Oompa Loompa shitting horse dog panda snuff porn with downers and sarin.
  13. Indeed, I blame my obsession with scat on spending years chucking myself around the aft heads of stumpy 42s, ankle deep in piss while the smell of over 100 men's shit lingers in the air. It is almost impossible for me to get off now unless there is poo involved somewhere.
  14. When? 1958. :twisted: :twisted:

    Blue movie? It was in black and white! :lol: :lol:

  15. There's nothing like an on-watch wank in roughers on a blocked shitter. A days worth of cold piss and shit bubbling away and lapping at your balls while you hold the busted door closed with one foot and try to steady yourself with your one free hand.

  16. I saw my first proper porn movie when i was 13, i had come accross small clips before. But i started work in a local shop and the boss was a proper dirty old perv, at christmas he used to dress up as santa and as every female whether they were 2 or 90 came in he would say 'Come and sit on my knee little girl.'

    Anyway to cut a graphic story short, he wanted a dvd looking after so his wife didn't catch him, he gave it me and said i was only to watch it if i was on my own. So home i went and i wasn't seen again for atleast 36 hours. It was called 'Bang Bus' Volume (can't remember this the number). It was about a bus that travelled around finding babes and violating them. This was the beginning demise, i am now a full time wanker. :roll: :wink:
  17. I know, it's fcuking epic.

    On a seperate note don't you just love it after a really spicy poo when the copper coloured contents of the bog splashes up your hoop and cools your burning ricker?

    Fcuking magic.
  18. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    I was searching under my mum & dads bed for xmas presents and found this betamax video. Popped it in and cue instant hard on and a wee bit of dribble. The parents always done the weekly shopping on a thursday, so I invited all my mates round and introduced them to Seka & Aunt Peg.
  19. one thinks he may have been grooming you
    imagine your tight schoolboy bum hole stretched by his wrinkly fat sausage fingers
    thats what he was imagining(so ive been told)
  20. I do, what I don't like though is when you crimp out a mighty turd and your turtle's beak doesn't have time to snap shut before the resulting splash shoots directly UP your claypipe.

Share This Page