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What's this naked roll mat thing?

Joe_Crow

War Hero
Peter_G said:
Cant you just tell me? :\

It's something that is better understood by participation than by explanation. Please give details of your current location, and I'm sure someone will try to accommodate you.
 

NZ_Bootneck

War Hero
Peter_G said:
Cant you just tell me? :\
Recipe for Naked Roll Mat Fighting.
Ingredients
2 Royal Marines (Players) Sprogs are best but grudge matches are also good.
2 Roll Mats per participant
20-30 Other Royal Marines (Witnesses and You Tube cameramen)
Digital cameras, Mobile phones, polaroid cameras, Courtroom artists, Damian Hurst and Banksy to record the bout for the purposes of.
Copious amounts of alcohol (Fecking shedloads)
Soon to be Court Martialed Junior NCO.

Take 2 Royal Marines liberally dose with alcohol of choice, consumed whilst playing spoof, freckles,naked bar etc.
Once fully inebriated and if not yet naked, stripped to the B'day suit, attach Roll Mats by inserting arms down hole and secure with massive amounts of black nasty/maskers (Duct tape to you).
Junior NCO steps forward and utters the time honoured words that start each bout
"Get amongst it you pair of fecking beefers, I wanna see blood and snot soonest or I'll be kicking seven shades of sh!t out of ya."
The combatants then windmill into battle, any display of skill or ability is looked upon as bad form and injuries are usually caused more by luck than good management.
The bout ends when
1) A commbatant pukes. As the RMFA (Roll Mat Fighting Area) is swamped by other pished Royals charging in, racing spoons to the fore to get the carrots and tomato skins whilst still warm.
2) A combatant (or both) are KOd through a combination of exhaustion alcohol poisoning and lack of moral fibre.
3) The Junior NCO (Court Martial Monday AM, Blues and medals to be worn.) wades in and decks both combatants with judicious karate kicks and rabbit punches.
All other RMs get on with drinking until the next bout is arranged or someone starts a 'Zulu Warrior'
 
NZ_Bootneck said:
Peter_G said:
Cant you just tell me? :\
Recipe for Naked Roll Mat Fighting.
Ingredients
2 Royal Marines (Players) Sprogs are best but grudge matches are also good.
2 Roll Mats per participant
20-30 Other Royal Marines (Witnesses and You Tube cameramen)
Digital cameras, Mobile phones, polaroid cameras, Courtroom artists, Damian Hurst and Banksy to record the bout for the purposes of.
Copious amounts of alcohol (Fecking shedloads)
Soon to be Court Martialed Junior NCO.

Take 2 Royal Marines liberally dose with alcohol of choice, consumed whilst playing spoof, freckles,naked bar etc.
Once fully inebriated and if not yet naked, stripped to the B'day suit, attach Roll Mats by inserting arms down hole and secure with massive amounts of black nasty/maskers (Duct tape to you).
Junior NCO steps forward and utters the time honoured words that start each bout
"Get amongst it you pair of fecking beefers, I wanna see blood and snot soonest or I'll be kicking seven shades of sh!t out of ya."
The combatants then windmill into battle, any display of skill or ability is looked upon as bad form and injuries are usually caused more by luck than good management.
The bout ends when
1) A commbatant pukes. As the RMFA (Roll Mat Fighting Area) is swamped by other pished Royals charging in, racing spoons to the fore to get the carrots and tomato skins whilst still warm.
2) A combatant (or both) are KOd through a combination of exhaustion alcohol poisoning and lack of moral fibre.
3) The Junior NCO (Court Martial Monday AM, Blues and medals to be worn.) wades in and decks both combatants with judicious karate kicks and rabbit punches.
All other RMs get on with drinking until the next bout is arranged or someone starts a 'Zulu Warrior'

Is it an official Olympic sport yet? :confused:
 

NZ_Bootneck

War Hero
Feck off, civies start crying when the Roll Mats come out, well my 6 year old daughter does anyway as she knows that the Pain Monsters in town!!
Royal would be the only participants, as USMC think Roll mats are for sleeping on (!! FFS), Dutch Marines are too stoned to give a sh!t and are only interested in the buffet (Comprising 3 Family Bags of crisps and some Beer sticks or other dubious meat products [Which Royal has already puked all over]) and the Chinese Marines can only dream of Roll Mats on their beds of bamboo shoots which they have to eat in the morning.
Russian Marines are all busy chipping paint in Murmansk or Archangel as they are so bone they haven't figured out the time honoured custom of 'BOOTIES DON'T DO THE PAINTING SHIPS THING'.
Still that leaves the Thais, Brazilians and any other country that tries to emulate the best damn Roll mat Fighting Machine in The WORLD.

CAN I GET A HOORAH, MY BROTHERS!!!!!! :rambo: :rambo:


Sorry forgot, we don't do that. :salut: :blush:
 
NZ_Bootneck said:
Feck off, civies start crying when the Roll Mats come out, well my 6 year old daughter does anyway as she knows that the Pain Monsters in town!!
Royal would be the only participants, as USMC think Roll mats are for sleeping on (!! FFS), Dutch Marines are too stoned to give a sh!t and are only interested in the buffet (Comprising 3 Family Bags of crisps and some Beer sticks or other dubious meat products [Which Royal has already puked all over]) and the Chinese Marines can only dream of Roll Mats on their beds of bamboo shoots which they have to eat in the morning.
Russian Marines are all busy chipping paint in Murmansk or Archangel as they are so bone they haven't figured out the time honoured custom of 'BOOTIES DON'T DO THE PAINTING SHIPS THING'.
Still that leaves the Thais, Brazilians and any other country that tries to emulate the best damn Roll mat Fighting Machine in The WORLD.

CAN I GET A HOORAH, MY BROTHERS!!!!!! :rambo: :rambo:


Sorry forgot, we don't do that. :salut: :blush:

Bahahahahahahaha :rendeer:
 
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