What's the dirtiest thing you have done in bed?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Shotgun_Assassin, Apr 9, 2009.

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  1. Apart from sh!tting the sheets.

    Personally I would say licking my mrs's bum hole out is probably the dirtiest.
  2. That must be why your Mrs' bumhole was nice and clean when I slammed a length up it.

    Cheers wings.
  3. :lol:
  4. De-coking the cylinder head of a Model 'T' Ford :)
  5. Waking up with a 10" steaming brown 'Master at Arms' all over my back that was as thick as your wrist and full of nuts!

    That'll teach me to drink pints of Tennents Super......
  6. Chopping sticks.
  7. Pints of Tennents Super.....I've got this 'orrible vision...
  8. Had a an hour of wild rampant sex with Miss Ethel Trehaddock
    of 101 Acacia Drive, St, Austell on the occasion of her 85th birthday.

    Mind you - she'd been dead for three weeks.

    Its the thought that counts.
  9. My last Ex, she was well dirty.
  10. So it was you who had my sloppy seconds :lol:
  11. love bites on my wifes piles! I feel sick at the thought!
    Just as well it was just a thought!
  12. I'm not telling!!! Oh alright then, but only if you don't tell anyone.....

    I once :censored: my Action Sailor! :lol:
  13. I fcuked her mum at that party. 8O
  14. Got very pissed on cider one night. Crashed out on my bed. Woke up for a piss but couldn't be asrd to go to the loo, so I pissed in the empty cider bottle. Woke up later with a raging thirst. Saw this half bottle of 'cider' and had a mouthful before I realised what it was I'd drunk - yes you've guessed it - COLD PISS......Oh Nooooooooooooooooooooo
  15. Maddie 8O
  16. Wasnt quite in bed yet, I picked up this lovely Pi$$ed young lady in Sam's one night, as a Gentleman Bootie, I decided to take her to her place.....after some romancing she started to spew....(student teachers just can't hack it) so not to disturb my lovemaking..I took her into the bathroom, bent her over whilst she was spewing into the bath and continued to shag her sensless, she'd never been shagged by a bootneck before..what a result, I could see myself in the mirror grinning like a [email protected] Jap.

    after the foreplay, I put her into bed, then she spewed on me when i was sleeping, i woke up covered in spew, she was covered in spew, so i shat in the bed before she woke up, she rolled over into my shite,and thought she shite herself, she ran into the shower, the bath was covered in spew, she started spewing again...oh how I laughed.
  17. Dicky I cant believe it, makes 2 of us!! a right nice mouthfull too! :D
  18. Hi Shotgun_assassin,

    the dirtiest thing I done (in bed... why only in bed....).... let me think....

    IT WAS YOU !!!!


    Well, now I am DEEPLY OFFENDED!!!!
    I mean the beginning was very promising, but then .... uh

    Have a nice Easter .... and a lot of eggs......



  19. Sick bastard. That post is worse than anything I've ever written.
  20. Congratulations NZ Booty, you have made Nails admit his posts are crap, now that is almost in the same league as getting Gordon Brown to appologise.

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