What women WILL believe

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, Sep 18, 2012.

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  1. In the roof of my caravan is a fuckin great window. This window has an insect screen and a retractable blind.
    Jokingly I told the War Office she should shut the blind at night when she's in the nuddy as low flying aircraft would be able to scank a shufftie.
    Last night she shut it and I said "whats up they flying tonight"?
    "No" she said "don't think I believed that crap from you for one minute".
    "So why you closed it "I said? "were not overlooked".
    "And what about those spy satellites you said could see a flea on a dogs bollocks" she said "I don't want the Americans looking at my boobs".
    Mind shes right, tonight I closed it, I sort of felt they might just be looking, I fuckin would.:confused4:
  2. Should have left it open and stood underneath in a pair of her kegs. Bet they wouldn't fucking look again

  3. No, no, no, no fuckin no.
    I'd have the fuckers landing in my garden, they would want to experiment on me.
    American way, if you cant understand it fuck it or eat it,.......kill it.
    I'd be doomed, I say,..... doomed. They might do all above.:shock:
  4. In what order? The first two sound enjoyable, so just make sure you can escape before the killing bit and job's a gooden.

    You could say you were just ironing your sheets, and not looking for spy satellites. Obviously, you'd need an iron and your sheets handy, but being American you should be able to convince them no problems
  5. I was having a row with a septic in a bar in Jamaica and he was getting really wound up.
    All of a sudden he jumps up and said..."Goddam you guys doncha speak American".
    "Paleface speak with fork tongue" was not the answer he wanted apparently and the altercation escalated ,....unbelievably.
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  6. Yank in the EM's bar in San Juan said they had the biggest fleet in the world.
    All I said was 'Most of its underwater at Pearl Harbour'
    And that's when the fight started. So touchy them yanks.
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  7. [​IMG]
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  8. Just mention a couple of buildings. Goes from macho argument to them sitting in a corner crying saying "Too far man... Tooooo far! That's like so naaat cool bro"
  9. Seaweed

    Seaweed War Hero Book Reviewer

    Father in law came home one day to find the house in darkness. Friend of his (ex-Brig R Sigs, worked for Pye) had called round and told m-i-l there was something wrong with the electricity, and she must take all the bulbs out of their sockets.

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