What was your most embarrassing moment?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by slim, Mar 17, 2007.

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  1. I had been working in a sh!thole in China for 3 months. Normally the food is reasonable and sometimes even exceptional, but in this place it was just inedible.
    Job finished went to the airport and boarded the plane to Hong Kong, at last we would be able to get a decent meal. Opened the overhead locker stretched up to put my case in forgetting that I had lost some weight, next moment trousers fell down around my ankles. :oops: Crowded flight but overhead locker space at a premium on Chinese airlines so continued to stow my case before retrieving trousers. :oops:
  2. I was in the disco at faslane,in the time of go-go dancers,as usual half pissed so i thought i would go on stage and dance with the dancers, all was going well when i slipped on beer sodden stage floor, did a double flip backwards and landed on the DJ's decks. envision music stops, dancing stops only a painlful low growl of UUUUUUUUUUUUUrgh could be heard from the mike, slowly got to my feet, brushed myself down walked painfully to the bar & ordered another pint. The only time in my life when all eyes were on me.
  3. LOL at above posts. pierheadjump good skills mate! slim, your episode any connection to your avatar name then??? As for my most embarassing incidet...aahhhh....I'm to embarassed to tell :)
  4. :lol: :lol: :lol: :wink: :wink: :wink: Lol
  5. Actually my most embarrassing moment was not spelling incident right in my last post...oops sorry! :)
  6. My mate reckons his most embarrassing moment was more embarrassing than mine (black cat rating). He said it was when his granny caught him having a [email protected] I told him that we had all been caught by either our grans or our moms, so it wasn't that good.
    Yes he said but this was last night!
  7. aged 17 farting when walking past my manager who I really fancied - then some time later him hearing me tell someone how much I fancied him

    I want to die just thinking about it and it was over 30 years ago

    :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
  8. silverfox

    silverfox War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    In my youth cycling round to visit a girlfriend's house and parents for the first time . A VW Golf getting too close behind in an effort to overtake me so I turned round and flicked the Vs at the woman driving. Got to the house and guess who answered the door - the VW Golf driving mother....
  9. you sound as daft as me SF - in my first job every time I opened my trap for a good old gossip you can bet the person was just round the corner :shock:
  10. huby says ...... getting caught shaggin his bird (not me) out on the moors , buy two female coppers.... who only stopped to tell him he had left his lights on.............
  11. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    I walked into a garage on the falls, in civvys, tried to copy the natives who were all drinking coffee, so I put me 10p into the coffee machine, bent forward to pick up me drink and my shoulder holster snapped, cue 9 mil sailing through the air in a perfect arc...... I then found out I could run faster than lidford Cristie. :oops:
  12. Not me promise. Told to me by a booty who said it wasn't him either.

    Lad goes out for a drink and strikes luck with a local lass. He had a bit of a fetish so he stole her knickers as a momento.

    When he gat home is mum is up cooking breakfast. After his busy night he was hungrey so asks for a bacon butty.

    Upstairs he undresses and finding the knickers he relives the moment with them on his face while he beats off on the bed. He finishes, removes the naughty blindfold from his eyes and sees the bacon sandwich placed on the bed next to him.
  13. Sleep walking when i was in digs, jumped in bed with the landlady and hubby, chucked out next morning. I always sleep in the buff.
  14. mmmmm dont know if i shud say..... its bad......

  15. Kin hell , PMSL , brilliant , :lol: :lol:
  16. OOO do you have his lunchbox? I stroked it once you know? And there is a photo to prove it!
  17. Come on then Rosy!! Spill it!! :)
  18. This morning ..in B&Q… squatted down to have a look at some fittings on the bottom shelf and as my Knees parted I let out a long low growl of a fart….of course everyone was being very English so no one said nothing…
  19. Follow Hig's advice. Stare at someone nearby and hold your stare! :grin:
  20. Similar to an early one, but totally honest about it, it happened to me.

    Years and years ago, before I was in the mob, I used to go to a notorious nightclub called Hanger 13. Full of pill heads, and I'm ashamed to admit, I was one.

    Got dancing with this girl. What a knockout. I was totally mashed, being full of E numbers, but being in my loved up state, as was she, and both being naked from the waste up (apart from a teensy bikini top in her case) we were all sweaty, and rubbing up against each other. Fantastic.

    She was just a total honey - blonde, pert breasts, long legs and a smile that could melt ice.

    Anyways, next morning, after mate gets me home, I'm laid in bed, clutching her phone number, and thinking of her and the way her arse looked in her hot pants. I put on my stereo, and still in the mood for some throbbing Rotterdam house, slips my headphones on.

    Eyes closed, thinking of her.....well, what happens happens. My monkey gets well and truly spanked.

    Opens my eyes 5 minutes later, and there on the cabinet next to the bed, there it is...a cup of tea and 2 rolls and sausage. Mother dear had heard me moving around, and being a sweety, brought me breakfast. :oops:

    Two months later, I went along to an 18th birthday, pulled when pissed, and ends up with this young lady back in my bed. Being to pissed to do much, I wake up the next morning, sees the young lady naked in bed, and decides to have a drink from the furry cup.

    Just as Mother walks in (whom I forgot was off work that morning for a Dental appointment) to find me naked, arse in the air, muffing this girl out.

    Aye, two rather embarassing moments for sure :oops:

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