What to say next?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, Jun 21, 2011.

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  1. The bird over the road just told me she's going into hospital next week to have her piles pushed back up.
    I did offer to do it for her but I suspect by her body language it was a no.
    Well fuck off gave me a clue as well. I'm not insensitive.
  2. Seem to remember the Gollywog posting a dit about stuffing his grapes back in after a mega shit post run ashore, can't be arsed to search for it.
  3. You see the problem with that is as much as MPL seems a good hand, doubtless his shit stinks and I'm not about to offer the same service.
    I mean I don't know him that well.
  4. You could always use a broom handle Rummers, to keep your distance like.

  5. My grapes are fine now. I look after my ricker these days, I'm not going through that whole episode again.


  6. There is a magic word when favours are required, and it ain't please.
    Actually the war office uses three...jump to it.
  7. My chalfonts play me up every now and again slap on the cream and stop drinking the red wine Clement Froids are fine then
  8. I missed the connection there for a minute Stan. Bunch of grapes-wine -bigger bunch of grapes . I think I've got it:-D

  9. He thinks he's got it,
    By jove he's got it,
    By jove.........what the fuck you talking about,
    I don't have it.

    You been hanging with the Admiral ain't you?:laughing2:
  10. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Tell her if you suck them first before lovingly caressing them back inside the balloon knot with your little finger you're on to a winner.
  11. He's my speshul friend:-D (after Blobby of course)
  12. She's gagging for it, unless you're her Proctologist why else would she tell you her hoop woes?
    Stock up on the KY and Anusol.
  13. There was a time there that I sympathized with you for living in the same Hemisphere as Blobby, but now I'm feeling the love is fading, and you may be going to the dark side.:-D She told me to fuck off when I offered to shove em back, ingratitude is a fault I may have to get over before I can proceed with her treatment.

    And stop using words like Proctologist in lil's there are people like V8 in here trying to keep up to speed in the thread.:-D:laughing2:
  14. wal

    wal Badgeman

    Proctologist. Should one use the term arse doctor or bum doctor, one here?

    Newbie of Farnham.
  15. Did you check 'em first for love bites? that's a sign of a dirty girl!
  16. Are there times when you dirty shower of bastards wish you were "cooth" like me?

    I am so glad I never became affected by Naval life and dragged down.
  17. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Coof you don't know the meaning of the word, whereas I, still pure in mind and body am a shining example of the same

    For example, following a memorial service on thursday we went down to the cemetary and met up with an RC Deacon, after the short service janner approaches said Deacon and says

    "This is a bit different for you I suppose?"

    He replies "No, I'm a retired Master at Arms."

    "Fuck me!" says I "You must have had to do some penance."

    Exit stage left several retired Submariners, shoulders shaking.

    Luckily Mrs janner wasn't present or I'd have been doing Hail Marys for a month and I'm not even RC
  18. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    I think I'm being stalked by ex Reggies, after the above example I present myself at the Weymouth Veterans Parade on the following Sunday, I'm strolling along the Esplanage with about 2000 others, several bands in attendance (ours didn't seem to have the drum beats at the right time).

    The chap next to me strikes up a conversation, as one does on these occasions.

    "What were you in the mob mate?" says he

    "Killick Sparker, Submariner" says I. "What about you?"

    (At this point I noticed that he was moving away from me.)

    "I was the Jossman at Osprey when I retired." he replied.

    We didn't go for a wet after the parade.
  19. Sorry, I've been busy elswhere.
    What the fuck is ingraditude anyway
  20. Dunno I read it in a shit kicker.

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