What to do tonight?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by 2_deck_dash, Jul 24, 2009.

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  1. Right here is the situation: Mrs 2DD is away for the evening as she is gonna be a bridesmaid at her mate's wedding in a few weeks and they are going over shite like flowers and stuff which is probably just an excuse for a girly night out.

    I am at home having taken a make a mend this afternoon (yes you still get them in civvy street sometimes!)

    I have the following items at my disposal:

    About 3/4 of a bottle of gin,
    A frozen pizza and some baked beans,
    3 Guitars,
    A cat,
    The computer I am using now,
    About 70 quid,

    None of the lads have submitted a leave request form to their missus for the weekend, so it's just me.

    Any ideas?
  2. Take the 3/4 bottle of gin and pour it down the sink, it is the drink of death. Take some of the 70 quid down the offy and stock up on something that wont leave you wanting to top yourself.

    Get the pizza in the oven, and whilst its cooking take the computer and choose from any of the free videos from the following website:

    Free Fun

    Then have some "you" time - optionally involving the cats.
  3. Similar situation oppo, her who casts no shadow is in Ireland for a wedding so the house is mine. I do have an old Golly Oppo coming round to help me finish the two bottles of Ouzo and 2 litres of Vodka I've hidden.

    I think the very first step should be to drink the gin, remove some of the guitar strings and tie them to the cats legs, then have a cat puppet show.
  4. Good call, the missus doesn't get back til midday tomorrow so I may need a second option for once I have .....ahem......completed my 'me time.'
  5. Scratch my idea - cat puppet show is a much better plan.

    I need to work on my imagination.
  6. Here kitty kitty kitty!
  7. Shaving cats is always hilarious too, especially if you're shiters.

  8. Or give the gin to the cats....tie the guitar strings to yourself and do a little performance for them? Wouldnt be weird at all :D
  9. Right where's my mach 3?
  10. Funny as fcuk. That cat looks threaders.
  11. Wait til you see mine!
  12. Shave it! Shave it! Shave it!
  13. Just a little more gin.........for the cat I mean.
  14. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Don't forget to use plenty of harry maskers on the cats, they tend to split easily :oops:
  15. Stick it in the bath and spray it all over with a can of Lynx. Add a match and hey presto, hairless cat.
  16. Couldn't you make up excuses to get them compassionate leave?
  17. Tried that, they are all being gayers.
  18. Its not the sort of shaven pussy I would have in mind if I had a night in on my own!
    Each to their own I suppose.
  19. Turns it into a dog though. It goes WOOOOOOOOOFFFFFF :lol:
  20. Apparently the best way to make a dog go meeeoooowww is to stick it in the freezer for a few hours, then chop it in half with a high speed band saw.


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