What stopped ya?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, Jun 20, 2011.

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  1. There I was, randy as fuck. Three days into my leave, gone to a dinner dance with a civvy oppo (his Christmas bash) and pulled the bird he had dribbled about for three years.
    Gets her over the local park, slurping and slopping, she even gets her head down to the love lolly. I then decides to slip this beauty the good news, so gets her muzzle cover down below her knees, and gazed down on the naked love tunnel, and all thoughts now on the pleasure to come when OMFG.
    Her white panties stretched across her spread legs just below her knees and there it was,.....the biggest skidder this side of the Nagasaki Gulch.

    Back in the pub in ten seconds, dirty bitch.
     
  2. Gaylord. A proper matelot would have scooped up the slug with their index finger and given her a poo tash before ploughing her balloon knot while wearing her stinky pants as a mask.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  3. You are too posh for us! it's a different hole so no problem.
    You should have removed them and we could have had an auction!
    I've heard there's a thriving business on Pervert.com for these type of used knickers.
    Shame on you! what would your Shipmates have said about it back in the day?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Oh fuck outed.

    Wanna date sailor, I love you long time. $10.
     
  5. It was back in the day mate and I have a far more shameful confession than that one.
    I'm off out now but ......I will be back...and then I will relate my tale of shameful picky picky.:pottytrain2:
     
  6. Ideal trophy for the gronk board...hermer
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Mate a Lot standards are not good these days
     
  8. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Fecking Gayer
     
  9. Ive got to say RR the dit would have been better if you had smashed her like. Personal opinion though, does seem quite romping not to seen as your oppo wanted a bit to.
     
  10. Trapped a bint in Bristol whilst serving on that mighty grey warrior with the same name , had on a pair of (yes I know) white trollies gets down and dirty in the park and tries to make my way back to Avonmouth at about 3am totally lost I accosted a pair of coppers one of which was female and asked for directions to the nearest taxi rank - she starts pissing herself laughing so I look down and see two fcuking great mud and grass stains on the knees of my trollies - she gave me the wankers wink and directed me to the taxi rank. Ah memories I won't even mention what happened at the POs Mess social - unless you ask nicely
     
  11. Stan, what happened at the PO's Mess Social?? Please tell!
     
  12. Ah well just returned from down South in 82 Stan recently promoted to PO Freedom of the City of Bristol fcuking hoofing hoofing run ashore second night in after the park incident we had the social my first as a SR so much fanny onboard we had to overspill into the main drag. You know whats like too mch choice couldn't make my mind up so at 2345 I'm still not on a promise make my move cute chick about 24 takes me home next morning I wake up about 0615 and look to make my getaway with a knob like a fighting dogs ear. Just as I go for a piss I hear the front door open and she says quick fcuk off its my hubby he's a prison officer, well stan is trying to get his kecks on full spped as he bursts into the bedfroom with a kitchen knife and starts chasing me round the bedroom after 10 minutes of this Stan tries to call a truce and tells him I didn't know she was married blah blah catches him off guard and runs downstairs fcuking quick time out the front door billy bigsteps but I don't know were the flying fcuk I am and its 0 crack sparrow on a Sunday morning.
    Look around and in the middle of a small green there's the majic red telephone box rings the number written on the side of the window for a local cab firm and sit outside to wait for escape, sure enough after about ten minutes a car appears fcuking great thinks Stan goes to the car only to realise at the last minute its the raving fcuking hubby coming to finish me off with the kitchen knife, he starts chasing me round and round the fcuking telephone box brandishing this big silver knife calling me a marriage breaker and fcuk knows what else - I'm hanging out my arse and about to vomit when thank fcuk the taxi appears and I run off and tell the driver to put his fcuking foot down cos a luatic is chasing me - great dit at the breakfast tble when I eventually get back onboard.
    She writes me a letter a week later saying she's left her hubby and is waiting for me to return and move in - did I did I fcuk
     
    • Like Like x 2
  13. Down on my knees in Bristol, the bird she looked a treat,
    Pissed and in a bus stop........Raw meat.:-|
     
  14. I sent you a pm mate, according to my sent box you have not read it yet.
     
  15. I'll have a shufty now.
     
  16. Great story Stan! don't think a eunuchs life would be cut out for you,had he caught you that's what it would have been,cut out!
    Brings tears to your thighs!
     
  17. There was no better run ashore than Bristol whilst serving on same. The memories of the nurses quarters at the hospital still makes me go weak at the knees, much the same as it did then;P.

    PS Rummers I'm ashamed of you.Youre just a fcukin snob you are.Its like banana's, some bits are a bit brown and slimy but just as sweet:-D
     
  18. I do own I'm a tad fussy when it comes to pussy, I like brown skin when it's the natural colour and not delicately tinted with shit.
    It must stem from the time I yanked my crowbar out of a little American girls arse and within seconds she farted and followed through.
    The afterglow of a good arse rumba is somewhat dispelled when lying in liquid shit.
    Just an opinion of course.
     
  19. In my younger days provided it smelled a little fishy regardless of the last time it was washed it would do for old Stan, these days sadly all I have is memories. Bristol was the bees knees, Liverpool was cracking but you can't beat Hull, half a bitter and they would bang you into a blank week!!
     
  20. I've said it once and I'll say it again. I fucking love you Stan, I wish you were my dad.
     

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