What really puts you off women /men?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by fly_past, Dec 13, 2007.

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  1. Here is your chance to gripe prior to Christmas, so, what gripes do you have about the opposite sex?

    Mine: women
    Tattoos -YUK
    chewing gum
    girls who say "Hun" all the time
    Hairy legs/ armpits
    shoes that are way too tight with rolls of fat bulging over the sides

    Well, we guys are perfect are we not!
  2. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    My gripe about women.

    Dresses....they always seem to have a bigger and better "fallback" wardrobe than me.

    Shoes....they can find ones that fit, getting a pair of size ten red stilletoes is a right cnut.

    Knickers.....why do they object to us blokes running around the bedroom "whooping" with them on our heads?

    Stockings....women can put them on without laddering them.

    Lipstick.....they seem to have found a shop that sells more variaties than just "shocking red"

    Girlie bits....they complain that we are always fiddling with our todgers..imagine how much fun we'd have if issued with t1ts and a fanny?

    BJ's....women have no sense of compasion when it comes to spunk, highly trained recce teams are sent on a suicide mission every time we cum, they all know only one will survive, yet they rush forward eagerly, oblivious to danger only to be spat out in disgust, this is a shameful act.
  3. I've always found a lack of a pulse in women a little off putting
  4. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I hate the following:

    Sexist threads... :roll:
  5. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    I find people who are unsure of their sexuality have the same gripe.... :dwarf:
  6. Womens ability to shop for eons and not buy anything!
  7. Women who need instruction on operating the toilet seat.
  8. Women who make me have to use the hammer because they won't get into the fcuking van ...
  9. Women who turn out not to be women at all..... Do you stop?
  10. No you just ask for a discount.
  11. He's into health and safety as well. :rambo:
    Women who say "No you drive." then remind you of the speed limit, point out pedestrians ,cyclists and zebra crossings at least 100m away and generally backseat drive and get huffy when I say "Why didn't you fecking drive?" Oh that's no lady that's the wife. I fall for it everytime it's no wonder my hairline is receding.
  12. nothing ever put me off women, up untill one said "i do".
    thats enough to put you off for life. :banghead:
  13. In case you men thought you were perfect, here is my list:-

    Dirty fingernails and shoes
    Bad mannners - I know I can open the door myself but if you do not I will not shag you
    Course language - shows you are ignorant
    Long hair
    Those specimens who think farting and belching is a substitute for humour

    What I do like in a man:-

    A well kept body
    A sense of humour - I am convinced my knicker elastic is somehow linked to the bit in my brain that makes me laugh
    He has to have certain skills - ie car maintenance, plumbing, electrics, decorating, woodworking, computer maintenance (don't want to have a dog and bark yourself)
    A nice smile (no bad breath or smoker's teeth)
    He must love catties
  14. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    ...well that's me shit it then! 8O :wink:
  15. But that wiggling bloke you have picture of has trouser burps--his trousers keep wafting!
  16. Spot on there NZB. It must be universal.
  17. I'm really put off by...

    Chewing with the mouth open :pukel:
    Love of football
    Poor manners
    A man who's needy
    A man who spends longer getting ready than me (20 minutes or more)
    A man who owns a gaming machine :threaten:

    I can't say this puts me off but f*ck it's irritating when he takes things apart "just to see how it works" Why would do you do that with everything with moving parts? Oh and the engineers who built the blasted thing probably know more that you about that particular part since that is what they do. They probably know feck all about reactors since that is what you do.

    And breathe...............
  18. Women who use drive thru cash point (ATM) machines as follows:

    1 Drive up to cash machine.
    2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine.
    3 Re-start the stalled engine.
    4 Wind down the window.
    5 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    6 Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror.
    7 Attempt to insert card into machine.
    8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its distance from the car.
    9 Insert card.
    10 Insert card the right way up.
    11 Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
    12 Enter PIN.
    13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
    14 Enter amount of cash required.
    15 Re-check make up in rear view mirror.
    16 Retrieve cash and receipt.
    17 Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
    18 Place receipt in back of cheque book.
    19 Re-check make-up again.
    20 Drive forwards 2 meters.
    21 Reverse back to cash machine.
    22 Retrieve card.
    23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
    24 Re-check make-up.
    25 Restart stalled engine and pull off.
    26 Drive for 3 to 4 miles.
    27 Release hand brake.

  19. You can have my moobs any day - but I warn you mine are growing and in need of lopping off in the future! They do have have a nice feel and I have let the odd bloke suck them, but personally I prefer a nice pair of soft, masculine, smooth bum cheeks. Note I said smooth - ie NOT hairy! The other variety of cheeks must have fur.

    Rosie: is Course language the way people talk on OU tutorials? Personally I love both course and coarse language. :biggrin: ....head & ears covered to protect from high velocity handbag! ;)

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