What kind of toilet paper should I take to Raleigh?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, Jun 15, 2009.

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  1. Well all at one time on this site we have had,

    When do you go to Raleigh

    Are you yet at Raleigh,

    Are you nearly at Raleigh,

    Can you see Raleigh from here,

    Who's taking socks to Raleigh,

    Will my soccer boots be obselet at Raleigh,

    And lets list our dates at Raleigh.

    Whilst its a forum for this kind of thing, you dont catch sensible topics like "Cheesing down t*rds, and which hand do you w*nk with being duplicated so often.
    If the young un's are so switched on (hopefully) then why can they not scroll down or search the forum listings.

    On thread I recommend Andrex, or failing that take a labrodor puppy and wipe your a*se on that and let it lick it off.
    If you sh*t more than once a day take more pup's. :D :D :D :D
     
  2. IZAL MEDICATED.....aka 'John Wayne bog roll' as it takes no shit from anyone . :)
     
  3. Take a copy of the Sun, arse wiping makes the most intelligent use of the paper.
    Remember that stuff we used to get supplied with, had the words Government Property printed on every sheet. Lets face it who the fck in their right mind would have nicked it.
    One side shiny and smooth, the other rough, gave you the choice of either sanding your arse smooth or spreading sh1t all over it :p
     
  4. Er according to my telly Charmin are the field variety, I have actually seen Grizzly bears using them and in COLOUR so as me and Rod Gearing know its true. :D :D :D
     
  5. LMFAO :D :D
     
  6.  
  7. I was always under the impression that the shiny side was for Ossifers only. I was scared to use that side, as I thought that the Reggies would be in to inspect my leavings.
     
  8. The Romans used to use a sponge on the end of a stick. Sounds the most environmentally friendly option to me, after all you can hand wash the sponge afterwards.... or if it is Victoria sponge, you can give it to the OOW to eat....

    Hello sir, would you like some of my chocolate truffle birthday cake?

    Thanks son! That's so generous of you.
     
  9. :idea: How about just taking what's on the list, and letting the rest surprise you.
    Without all this pre entry knowledge it's a wonder we got as far as passing out or in, or shake it all about.
     
  10. FlagWagger

    FlagWagger Book Reviewer

    For those who think Andrex is too soft, you can experience the joy that was Izal (or the cheap imitation known as "GOVERNMENT PROPERTY") by purchasing a roll or two from here.

    Edited at least once for mong spooling and/or bad tryping
     
  11. Beat me to it
     
  12. Failed the FRX then flags? Must have been feeling uncomfortable due to the IZAL :lol:
     
  13. It's my belief that being forced to use Government Property Bog Roll has wrecked my arse.
    Though I am straight I suspect that due to this any career as an arse bandit (Male prostitute) that I may have wanted to persue has been wrecked.
    My question is:
    Do I have a case against the RN for possible lack of earnings :oops:
     
  14. Possibly, but do you think that at your age, even with the light behind you, that you'd get away with it?
    That could weigh heavily against you in any award given by the court, unless the judge is blind of course. :lol:
    Futhermore do you think that male prostitutes are arse 'bandits' after all the money exchanged is given freely, with due foresight and indulgence etc etc..
     
  15. Well the money put into fruit machines (no pun intended, Oh yes there is) is given freely but we still refer to them as One armed bandits :p
     
  16. I see, so because you fell foul (pun wilfully intended) of Izal you now go with one armed rent boys. Indeed you may have a case.
    Were it not for the undoubted lack of cleanliness in the area (due to the Izal) the jury might be open to surmise the use of the one remaining arm.
     
  17. No problem with one armed rentboys, just the bog roll. :p
    I still have all my arms, left arm , right arm and yes Short arm. :p
    In all honesty Government Property Bog roll was one up on many civvie toilets.
    As a kid it was my job to tear the newspaper into squares and thread these squares onto a bit of string. This paper was then hung on a nail in the outside Khasi and used as bog papper. :p
    Kids today have it far too easy. :twisted:
     
  18. Are you sure you are not Scouse :lol:
     
  19. Certain, I'm much better looking than Scouse and far more intelligent. However Scouse and I were in the same mess at Lossiemouth in 1964. we were both on 809 Squadron at the time. :p
     

  20. well said 8) 8)
     

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