What it means to be British

Capn_Pugwash

War Hero
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
rink.



NOT TO MENTION..

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the

Fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas

Cracker-pulling accidents.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E; in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth...

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.

And finally...

In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.



Makes you proud, dont it.
 

Topstop

War Hero
Capn_Pugwash said:
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.


Exept Barclays where they have dispensers and say help yourself to pens.
They are crap so I have 5 to last me the week. :dwarf:
 
Capn_Pugwash said:
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E; in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth...

Poor matelots! Don't the Navy provide enough bottle openers these days! :biggrin:

PMSL Capn. :thumright:
 
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

I disagree with that as all our service clocks only have 8 mins on them as per the goverment statistics required for response times.
 
Not at all mate, just trying to get this site back to being INTERESTING, nice one Streaky.

Having to be very careful about what you say, and who you say it to.

My forefathers fought for the right to Free Speech, whats the problem?

Say what you mean, I will back you to the hilt your right to say it.
 
Passed-over_Loggie said:
Only the British don't need to endlessly agonise over who they are nor what it means.

Surely that should read: Only the English.....

With all this discussion I've been reading about in the Herald about whether Gailic should become the official language of Scotland and of the Scottish Parliament, I'm not so sure. Then we have the Welsh and Cornish nationalist identity movements. Only the English feel nonchallant about their "national" day. After all, we know who we are (says quarter English thingy :lol: )!
 
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