What is the point of the Wardroom in the RNR?

[Lingyai]

A good wind up thread there.
I have never been in any social situation JR/SR/WR where I couldn't find at least a couple of people who I could get on with. If you really can't get on with any of them socialy then maybe it is you that has the defective personality, in this case there really isn't much you can do other than have a personality transplant (think your body might reject it though).
If they really are such a boring bunch, maybe you could get stuck into them and tell them, wind them up a bit, after all like you say it's not a real job, just a hobby so what have you got to lose?

 

[Maxi_77]

I have a little problem here, you get on well with every one, but do not socialise at all with those subordinate to you and find there is not one other brother officer you can relate to. There does seem to be a problem between your 'deployed' self and your 'drill night' self

 

[Jim30]

Tried the social line - no joy. Not asking for dating advice here guys, just saying that I think drill night socials are a waste of time.

Why oh why do some people not understand my point - I enjoy socialising on tour or on course. I do not enjoy socialising in my unit despite years of trying and do not want to participate further in it. I do not think the W/R is a valuable part of my RNR experience.

What is so fecking difficult about this to understand?

 

[trehorn]

When i first joined the RNR 6 years ago i didnt particularly have anything in common with the lads and lasses there. They didnt go out of their way to make new commers feel welcome. Thus when i went to Raleigh i went alone, When i went on my branch course i went alone, when i went on my first and second sea time i went alone and when i went on my first BSSC i went alone. I didnt stay behind after a drill night to socialise because i didnt particulalry want to.

That is my first 3 years in the RNR taken care of.

Over the last three years my oppos at the unit have become my best mates. people have come and gone but these are the same people who were at the unit when i first started. We attend the unit together, we train at weekends together, we deploy together and sometimes socialise together. They are all coming on my stag do and to my wedding.

I'm proud to say that we now have an excellent record of making potential recruits feel welcome. Those that do not stay have usually failed at some point during the entrance process.

My point being is that, as said before, there will be common ground to be found. If there are other officers who you do get on with who do not stay behind for a beer then have you thought that you may have something in common with them? Its about making the effort. There are people who i wouldn't usually socialise with if it weren't through the RNR but the idea is you either make the effort or you go to bed early and read a book. If you make an effort with people there is a good chance that they will do the same.

There is of course always the exception. A recent training weekend i was on everyone (and i mean everyone) stayed in the bar together until they ooofed out. We got back and for the second night in a row one of the lads was all tucked up in bed. We asked everyone what they thought of the weekend everyone said it was fantastic, except the bloke who went to bed three hours before everyone else who "didnt get anything out of it". He didnt make the effort and didn't appreciate the effort that everyone else had made therefore he had a shite weekend.

We cant force you to play well with others but life is alot better if you at least try.

 

[Uncle_Albert]

I think we're all just missing the point. It's like saying that you don't liked baked beans or you hate the way the tiles in the bathroom get so cold in the morning - a matter of personal preference that doesn't really matter.

I will now play the world's smallest violin in sympathy for you having to contribute money to something you don't use; as someone else said, ditto NHS/schools/welfare services/Red Ken's taxi fees.

 

[rugger_bob]

I've done my DO time - I've asked for a new division but we've got younger officers who need the experience more.
I get on perfectly well with the people I deploy with - its the people on a Tuesday who are annoying me. I'd suggest some of the people going "ooh he's a loner so can't have him on an operational team" have never done a deployment. All my CR's have noted my ability to work well in any team, in any situation and I am more than happy to do so.

I love the way that the usual "officers are cnuts" suspects have changed this into an RNA "and another thing about officers" thread. I get on very well with the JR's, but my role in unit, plus my wider role means I have very, very little to do with them. Its not difficult to understand and it doesnt mean I have some kind of "issue", it just means that the navy has changed.The fact that you don't understand that not all officers have valid reasons to enter a JR's mess on a drill night shows how out of touch some people are here. For the record, the best guys I ever had working for me were Lance Jacks.


LET ME REITERATE - THIS THREAD IS ABOUT THE VALUE OF THE W/R IN THE RNR - NOT RATINGS OR SR'S AND THEIR VALUE, NOT OPERATIONS OR ANYTHING SIMILAR.

As a token of your true commitment how about organising a social/team-building exercise? You seem to feel strongly about this matter, so perhaps you should part of the solution, rather than part of the problem?

:roll:

Well put Sgt Pepper, maybe we could have a boxing match and I will give Jim a free six or seven punches, with him being an officer and ex uni bod, but remember the first aid kit !!!!!! :twisted: , I have dealt with the ex- uni bods as i call them very recently and they are all talk and bull, but when it gets hard both from a mental and physical point, they bottle it !!!!!!!!!! and most importantly they think they are better than JR.
Jim, Remember that you must treat others how you would like to be treated, as one of your previous threads came across as all JR'S are not worth the time of day cos you went to uni !!! and wouldn't be seen dead in there mess.
I wish you well and you can learn to par- take in the mess, be it wardroom or junior rates, as I believe you could learn alot about yourself and those that work with you, YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN ANY OFFICER OR SENIOR/JUNIOR RATE , YOU MAKE IT WHAT YOU WANT IT TO BE.

 

[Deckhead_Inspector]

Jim I would suggest that if you realy regard the RNR as a job and you enjoy the Mess when you are "On Deployment" that you make a pre emptive strike on your "R"s and give up the Day Job. When you have spent long enough in the RN you may well be able to answer your initial question yourself. You may also discover that you have little in common with your mess mates in regular service as well.

Now my answer to your original question.

As the RNR is frequently the only thing some of us have in common that is quite often all we talk about. As a result I usually find much of my more useful work on a Drill Night is done "after hours" over a diet coke. Try it, you may think people think more of you. Face to face conversation is much better than sitting at a a key board or on opposite sides of a desk, for that matter.

 

[slim]

My last ship was HMS Manchester and was the best ship that I ever served in. Messes were separate as they should be, that did not however stop drinking and socialising in other messes. POs would often have a call round to the CPOs mess and vice verce. Officers were frequent visitors to both CPOs and POs messes by invite though two or three were held in such esteem that they were issued with a mess number. JRs were not invited to SR messes at sea, but in harbour the mess president would normally sanction JRate guests at lunchtime.
officers and senior rates were frequent guests in JRs messes (strictly invite only) hospitality was often too good and to escape sober was almost impossible.
Respect between the various ranks was good and no informality occurred outside the messes.

 

[Jim30]

This is now beyond belief. How many fcuking times do I have to make clear to you. I have an excellent relationship with the JR's and SR's that I work with - I refuse to believe any of the BS about "them and us". However some very simple facts - my job does not involve much with JR's or SR's, my operational role doesnt have anything to do with them either. I have no delusions of rank or grandeur and if anything have been told that I am too informal in my dealings with JRs. Will people please remove their heads from their arses, read what I am saying and understand that I am talking about the W/R and the people within, not the wider RNR. Stop trrying to turn this into another "officers are nasty toffs and us JRs are loveable urchins" thread.

 

[slim]

Royal Naval officers are gentlemen of the highest calibre, Royal naval senior ratings are all superb, the Royal Naval junior rating is respected by all
URNU officers, well what can one say.........................

 

[froggit]

Ok Jim your problem is with the wardrobe. Having read this thread from beginning to end, it strikes me that you are quite an experienced officer who has been around for some time and probably quite senior. Whilst not being a member of the "good ideas club" myself, it looks like you are a selfish type, you have learnt from your superiors during your younger years and are now pulling up the ladder. You appear not to be willing to accept the role of mentor in an unofficial capacity i.e. the mess. Life in the mob does not end at the end of the working day, a seniors responsibility is for life.

If you don’t want it, stay out of the mess. BUT Pay your fees, life in a blue suit.

 

[rugger_bob]

Ok Jim your problem is with the wardrobe. Having read this thread from beginning to end, it strikes me that you are quite an experienced officer who has been around for some time and probably quite senior. Whilst not being a member of the "good ideas club" myself, it looks like you are a selfish type, you have learnt from your superiors during your younger years and are now pulling up the ladder. You appear not to be willing to accept the role of mentor in an unofficial capacity i.e. the mess. Life in the mob does not end at the end of the working day, a seniors responsibility is for life.

If you don’t want it, stay out of the mess. BUT Pay your fees, life in a blue suit.

Hey Froggit, I like your Avatar :mrgreen: She could come to the JR'S mess any time :grin:

 

[froggit]

Tell me where and when and if you have the gin I May

 

[slim]

Tell me where and when and if you have the gin I May

Come off it Frogit JRs messes only have tinnies. However if you would like to donatea bottle pinkers I 'm certain it would be appreciated :smile:

 

[brazenhussy]

Nice guess, but I've never been in the JR's mess in my life and certainly never hang around there waiting for beer. (Ex URNU not JR you see)

sanctimonious git!! wouldn't bloody invite you in or buy you a beer - mind you its sounds like your head is so far up your arse you would be able to drink it anyway!

 

[Lingyai]

sanctimonious git!! wouldn't bloody invite you in or buy you a beer - mind you its sounds like your head is so far up your arse you would be able to drink it anyway!

:lol: :lol: :lol: Slam Dunk !

 

[brazenhussy]

that from you ling - thank you :lol: :lol:

 

[Always_a_Civvy]

I suspect most people join the Reserves as much for the social side and comradeship as for the public service angle. When I was in the RNXS we trained hard at HMS President then drank hard in the SR's Mess later... :razz:

 

[phil1972]

I don't agree I joined as I thought I could be of some use, and have found it frustrating when I have not been used. The social angle is great though, I just wish I had more time to do it.

 

[KLNA-Cessna-Jockey]

Fcuk me, only just read this thread ( bored in a hotel room in Dorchester at the moment ! )

What a complete and utter Stroker - obviously forgotten that old saying "don't shit on people on the way up because you sure as hell will meet them on the way down.