WHAT IF RUMRATION DID GOVERNMENT?

#62
whitemouse said:
Always_a_Civvy said:
UA as First Lord of the Admiralty
...................... WarMonger as Peace Envoy to the UN.....
Can I be Lord Chief High Executioner... please...pretty please.... I promise to be extra exceptional at my job..... :D
DAMN!!!!!!

I wanted that job.

Starting with the scum bag who keeps on vandalising my car. A slow removel of fingernails would me nice for starters.
 
#63
The office of Speaker dates to the 14th century. The Speaker presides over the House's debates, determining which members may speak. and is traditionally a long way up their own assoles. The Speaker is also responsible for maintaining order during debate, and may punish members who break the rules of the House Conventionally, the Speaker remains non-partisan, and renounces all affiliation with his or her former political party when taking office. The Speaker does not take part in debate nor vote (except to break ties). Aside from duties relating to presiding over the House, the Speaker also performs administrative and procedural functions, and at the last will break up any fisticuffs . Gays are excused this position as they would end up crying.

Got to be the Dabber, I see it now ,

Order, ORDER you lot, can`t you understand a direct ferkin ORDER.

Right..that`s it GET YOUR AT.

………
 
#64
Nutty said:
Always_a_Civvy said:
Flag Wagger, you haven't quite the foot-in-mouth skills of Dabs on a bad day, but you can be our Ambassador to the States and President Condi Rice.

Higgy, to add to the manifesto...

Gays don't need to march anymore because they have equal rights with the straights and bad mouthed Muslims who demand stonings have been transported for life to the Outer Hebrides.

Anyone whose served in the RN, RNR, RNVR, RNAS or RNXS can retire immediately on a tax free pension of £100K with a free tot of rum every day for life!

White Duck suits are reintroduced for all trainees in the RN.

Civvies to be banished from instructing recruits and roughy tuffy NCOs restored to their rightful position - but should behave responsibly and tuck up recruits into their hammocks at night and read them bedtime stories of daring do.

Submariners to be required to shower daily and hang their washing out to dry on the flight-deck of the new Ag class boats.

Reopen all service hospitals.

Give POGIs their brains and toggles back!

Officers to polish the deck every Saturday for JRs Sunday Rounds.

Kit musters to be abolished!!! (Andyman to be awarded 25/- compensation for being given grief)

Pussers Rum, Whisky and Real Ale will become our national drinks (milk for Juniors of course) and Hammycheesyeggy mounted on elephants feet all smothered in baked beans, will become our national dish

Our national anthem will be the Oggie Song.

Our Capital city will relocate from London to its natural home: Pompey. Regional Parliaments will be established in HMS Caledonia, HMS Sheep Dip (inside the new rugby stadium) and HMS Magennis (located inside the Bushmills distillery).

And Nutty, you won't need Euros anymore as the EU will adopt Sterling, English will become the Common language througout the union and the World will be governed by Parliaments of Matelots, both real and imaginary :lol:
STEVE YOU ARE A GENIUS AND WILL BE MADE LIFE PRESIDENT AND BENIGN DICTATOR OF THE UK


Yer 'umble servant

Nutty
Wow Nutty, that was a bit loud first thing in the morning

Peter
 
#65
higthepig said:
And the Manifesto?
Rum to be reintroduced immediatley at double the ration.
Allservicemen to have salaries trebled and tax free, The RN to recieve an extra allowance of £100 per week Hard Lying Money.
All crap Ports to be missed out whilst on a Foreign.
All serving females to be made redundant, when time expired, present ones on ships to be assigned to Laundry duties Ironing And cooking, Seven bell leave only to those that do a turn.(Female)

All immigration to cease and those here illegally to be sent back at once.
All gay parades to cease.
Death penalty to be reintroduced for whatever takes your fancy at the time.
All Old Age Pensioners who are EX RN, to have pensions of £50,000 a year tax free to rise by 10% per annum
Rum Ration to be the only NEWS to be given to the public.
All teachers be taught to read and write and to teach.
All members of Rum Ration are requested to add their bits in accordance with their communities and constituencies.
WOW! I have always been a bit of an atheist but now I see the light, there is a god, his name beith Hig ! All hail the all knowing. Make it so.
 
#66
Maxi_77 said:
Nutty said:
Always_a_Civvy said:
Flag Wagger, you haven't quite the foot-in-mouth skills of Dabs on a bad day, but you can be our Ambassador to the States and President Condi Rice.

Higgy, to add to the manifesto...

Gays don't need to march anymore because they have equal rights with the straights and bad mouthed Muslims who demand stonings have been transported for life to the Outer Hebrides.

Anyone whose served in the RN, RNR, RNVR, RNAS or RNXS can retire immediately on a tax free pension of £100K with a free tot of rum every day for life!

White Duck suits are reintroduced for all trainees in the RN.

Civvies to be banished from instructing recruits and roughy tuffy NCOs restored to their rightful position - but should behave responsibly and tuck up recruits into their hammocks at night and read them bedtime stories of daring do.

Submariners to be required to shower daily and hang their washing out to dry on the flight-deck of the new Ag class boats.

Reopen all service hospitals.

Give POGIs their brains and toggles back!

Officers to polish the deck every Saturday for JRs Sunday Rounds.

Kit musters to be abolished!!! (Andyman to be awarded 25/- compensation for being given grief)

Pussers Rum, Whisky and Real Ale will become our national drinks (milk for Juniors of course) and Hammycheesyeggy mounted on elephants feet all smothered in baked beans, will become our national dish

Our national anthem will be the Oggie Song.

Our Capital city will relocate from London to its natural home: Pompey. Regional Parliaments will be established in HMS Caledonia, HMS Sheep Dip (inside the new rugby stadium) and HMS Magennis (located inside the Bushmills distillery).

And Nutty, you won't need Euros anymore as the EU will adopt Sterling, English will become the Common language througout the union and the World will be governed by Parliaments of Matelots, both real and imaginary :lol:
STEVE YOU ARE A GENIUS AND WILL BE MADE LIFE PRESIDENT AND BENIGN DICTATOR OF THE UK


Yer 'umble servant

Nutty
Wow Nutty, that was a bit loud first thing in the morning

Peter

YOU SHOULD HAVE READ IT LAST NIGHT

NUTTY
 
#67
Backpacker1uk said:
whitemouse said:
Always_a_Civvy said:
UA as First Lord of the Admiralty
...................... WarMonger as Peace Envoy to the UN.....
Can I be Lord Chief High Executioner... please...pretty please.... I promise to be extra exceptional at my job..... :D
DAMN!!!!!!

I wanted that job.

Starting with the scum bag who keeps on vandalising my car. A slow removel of fingernails would me nice for starters.
There is always room for dedicated assistants
:twisted:
 
#68
Well I have to say that it's all looking pretty good so far. But before we pick a date to go live we should give some serious thought to policies, laws and decisions we would introduce.

I'll start with a few:

 All politicians to have served a minimum of five years in the Armed Forces.

 Triple the compensation scheme for service people WIA or KIA.

 Personnel drawing benefits who are physically capable of work to be inducted into "improve your neighbourhood" schemes.

Oh yeah, and declaration of war on France (cause it's been too long since we did it last).

SF
 
#69
Nutty said:
YOU SHOULD HAVE READ IT LAST NIGHT

NUTTY
I agree, but due to the improved standards of service from my chosen broadband supplier I am still not connected to RR at home, and I am not staying late at the office just to look at your posts Nutty, good as they might be.

Peter
 
#70
SILVER_FOX said:
Well I have to say that it's all looking pretty good so far. But before we pick a date to go live we should give some serious thought to policies, laws and decisions we would introduce.

I'll start with a few:

 All politicians to have served a minimum of five years in the Armed Forces.

 Triple the compensation scheme for service people WIA or KIA.

 Personnel drawing benefits who are physically capable of work to be inducted into "improve your neighbourhood" schemes.

Oh yeah, and declaration of war on France (cause it's been too long since we did it last).

SF
BZ there S_F,

But why declare war on the Crapauds ?

:?
.
.
.
.
Just bang 'em !!

:twisted:
 
#71
Maxi_77 said:
Nutty said:
YOU SHOULD HAVE READ IT LAST NIGHT

NUTTY
I agree, but due to the improved standards of service from my chosen broadband supplier I am still not connected to RR at home, and I am not staying late at the office just to look at your posts Nutty, good as they might be.

Peter
What kinda loyalty is that to a poor Sun baked lapsed fellow submariner, Peter? There was Nutty, wearing his fingertips to the bone, deferring his very, very, very final bedtime double-tot (neaters) until he'd transmitted his last signal for the day, just to send the sort of synocphantic (or should that be psychophantic) message you'd expect from a budding politician and you go and spoil his day. I would award you Shotley Routine for a week, but as an ex-officer I'll award you a fine of 10/- mulct of pension next month (allowing you to Budget for it).

Nutty, thanks mate! You're my Deputy for Life! Chrissy is Lady Speaker in the House of Equals (or Peers as they call themselves), also for life!

I should add that as I look upon all ex G-place people with the kind of AWE most people reserve for celebs, I want to add to our manifesto that all ex-G's are entitled to have their statue erected where they live and be worshipped instead of the old deity/ies.

The House of Commons to be renamed Aggies, the Serjeant-at-Arms to be renamed as MAA and Black Rod to be renamed Fleet Chief.

Can I have my straight-jacket made of blue serge, please, please, please?
 
#72
Whitemouse wrote: BZ there S_F,

But why declare war on the Crapauds ?
.
.
Just bang 'em !!

... back to the "shagging French Birds theme again I see. 8)

We'll just declare war on their blokes then.

SF
 
#74
Always_a_Civvy said:
Maxi_77 said:
Nutty said:
YOU SHOULD HAVE READ IT LAST NIGHT

NUTTY
I agree, but due to the improved standards of service from my chosen broadband supplier I am still not connected to RR at home, and I am not staying late at the office just to look at your posts Nutty, good as they might be.

Peter
What kinda loyalty is that to a poor Sun baked lapsed fellow submariner, Peter? There was Nutty, wearing his fingertips to the bone, deferring his very, very, very final bedtime double-tot (neaters) until he'd transmitted his last signal for the day, just to send the sort of synocphantic (or should that be psychophantic) message you'd expect from a budding politician and you go and spoil his day. I would award you Shotley Routine for a week, but as an ex-officer I'll award you a fine of 10/- mulct of pension next month (allowing you to Budget for it).

Nutty, thanks mate! You're my Deputy for Life! Chrissy is Lady Speaker in the House of Equals (or Peers as they call themselves), also for life!

I should add that as I look upon all ex G-place people with the kind of AWE most people reserve for celebs, I want to add to our manifesto that all ex-G's are entitled to have their statue erected where they live and be worshipped instead of the old deity/ies.

The House of Commons to be renamed Aggies, the Serjeant-at-Arms to be renamed as MAA and Black Rod to be renamed Fleet Chief.

Can I have my straight-jacket made of blue serge, please, please, please?
But as Leader of the Oppos, I am supposed to be awkward, cantankerous etc, so I was only doing my duty.

Peter
 
#75
National service to be re-introduced..

Police powers to shoot Burberry wearing Chav thugs on site..

Spotty pasty faced dole scroungers made part of a Euthenasia program..

Lorry drivers who overtake going up hill will be targetted by the global traffic management guded missile system and automatically blown off the road.

All ex service personnel will be given the right to call in an airstrike on anyone and anything that is currently in their way and pissing them off.

All current members of parliament will be usefully employed as S&M slaves in the Government Dungeon of correction where the worst sex offenders are housed prior to inevitable execution.

All ex Matelots (over 5 years experience) will be given the powers of high court judges.

Anyone who cant take a joke...that's life in a blue suit and will be deported to France

France will become a penal colony.
 
#76
imom1406 said:
National service to be re-introduced..

Police powers to shoot Burberry wearing Chav thugs on site..

Spotty pasty faced dole scroungers made part of a Euthenasia program..

Lorry drivers who overtake going up hill will be targetted by the global traffic management guded missile system and automatically blown off the road.

All ex service personnel will be given the right to call in an airstrike on anyone and anything that is currently in their way and pissing them off.

All current members of parliament will be usefully employed as S&M slaves in the Government Dungeon of correction where the worst sex offenders are housed prior to inevitable execution.

All ex Matelots (over 5 years experience) will be given the powers of high court judges.

Anyone who cant take a joke...that's life in a blue suit and will be deported to France

France will become a penal colony.
You mean France isn't already a penal colony??? 8O

Not National Service please... that would mean uncommitted spotty teenagers serving alongside committed regulars. No way mate! Let's stick with the one's who want to be there and look after them.

Mast Class and Mast Manning should be reintroduced - good for character building. For those of us scared on hights, extra polishing would be a welcome, if slightly punitive, alternative!
 
#77
Always_a_Civvy said:
You mean France isn't already a penal colony??? 8O

Not National Service please... that would mean uncommitted spotty teenagers serving alongside committed regulars. No way mate! Let's stick with the one's who want to be there and look after them.

Mast Class and Mast Manning should be reintroduced - good for character building. For those of us scared on hights, extra polishing would be a welcome, if slightly punitive, alternative!
The spotty oiks will have been culled , so National Service will be fine!
 
#78
Always_a_Civvy said:
You mean France isn't already a penal colony??? 8O
Only for the English who mistakely find themselves there.
Always_a_Civvy said:
Not National Service please... that would mean uncommitted spotty teenagers serving alongside committed regulars. No way mate! Let's stick with the one's who want to be there and look after them.
On the otherhand if the new 'national service' was non military and trained youngsters in things like disater relief, and conservation perhaps we could both improve the quality of our youth and be useful. Military service would of course be an option and volunteers subjected to selection.

Always_a_Civvy said:
Mast Class and Mast Manning should be reintroduced - good for character building. For those of us scared on hights, extra polishing would be a welcome, if slightly punitive, alternative!
Now at the right time polishoing can be quite theraputic.

Peter
 
#79
Always_a_Civvy said:
Not National Service please... that would mean uncommitted spotty teenagers serving alongside committed regulars. No way mate! Let's stick with the one's who want to be there and look after them.
How about a separate National Service Army? - i.e. we already have the Regular Army and Terretorial Army; how about another one purely for national service purposes. Perhaps national service regiments could be affiliated in some way with regular regiments and bolster them when necessary - even with volunteers from National Service units.

"It would do them good" :twisted:
 

FlagWagger

GCM
Book Reviewer
#80
dunkers said:
How about a separate National Service Army? - i.e. we already have the Regular Army and Terretorial Army; how about another one purely for national service purposes.
Hmm, the First Foot Burberrys has a certain ring to it....

dunkers said:
Perhaps national service regiments could be affiliated in some way with regular regiments and bolster them when necessary - even with volunteers from National Service units.

"It would do them good" :twisted:
Cannon fodder could be a good role, or how about we reintroduce mine-sweeping, (but not in the martime environment) - use a platoon from the Foot Burberrys to "sweep" an area clear of mines and IEDs. For leave, and as a reward, the survivors could be allowed to participate in an additional PsyOps role - allow them to attend at all-night ravea; these raves would be designed to provide maximum disturbance near Osama's cave, the presence of loads of chavs would certainly lower the tone of the neighbourhood and lead to sever disruption to his quality of life! :twisted:
 

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