What Happens?

Hey Guys,
Got a couple of questions to ask.
I passed all my test last month for joining up and was told it would be Feb 2010 but reading the post on here I can see it is going to be more like April/May.

My first question is:- (and I think I might already know the answers)

My brother is getting married in June next year and I am supposed to be his best man. If I'm in Raleigh does it mean I wont be able to attend? I live in Guz.

We had some bad news lately about my dad, bottom line is they have given him 12 months max :cry: If something happens when I'm at Raleigh will I be able to come home?
I did think about delaying my entry but my dad wants me to go ahead and make him proud.
He says he will be happy to see me in the navy and hopefully see me pass out and to see my brother get married before anything happens.

Got no advice but sorry to hear your sad news.
You havn't mentioned your mum, what does she say about this? Don't you think you should put off joining up and stay around your mum for a while?

You might not be in the right frame of mind for the navy at the moment. You are still young and got plenty of years ahead of you to join the navy.

Good luck for the future!
Sorry to hear the sad news about your father.

If you wait a while, one of our two resident AFCO press gang should be along shortly to answer your question.

If you were my son in your situation, I would want to see you pass out of Raleigh too. It is a target to work towards which can be psychologically beneficial when you are seriously ill.
I cant really give you the advice but if i was in your shoes i will join up and make your dad proud. There is really no easy way of writing this so i just gonna say it as it is. Heaven forbid the worst comes at least he will see you in your uniform and put a smile on his face as it reasures him that you will be set for life. Touchwood it wont come to that but the Navy should let you go and continue where you left, but better check with the AFCOs on the site.
To be honest i see why you you would want to push back your application as well, there is no right or wrong answer to be honest.


War Hero
Book Reviewer
These are questions that I doubt anyone on Rum Ration would be able to answer with much authority - I would suggest that this is a personal matter that can only be resolved in discussion with your Divisional Officer when you join Raleigh. Good luck! :thumbleft:


Lantern Swinger
I just thought i would say that you seem brave and deserve alot of respect. I hope everything will work out in the best possible way for you and your family.



War Hero
Sorry to hear of your circumstances.

Not an easy one to answer without appearing unsympathetic, however the bitter truth is that the priority for the individual at such times is to be with the family rather than in the service & an applicant in similar circumstances is usually advised to perhaps complete the application process but suspend actually joining once you pass selection.

In this particular case it will be of more benefit to you & your Family if you are readily available at home. To some it may appear as though they are being penalised for their current situation, but the interests of the individual rather than the service truly take precedence at such times.

An applicant in these circumstances will at least make their family proud that they have passed selection. To be sure of passing training the individual must be focussed on the job in hand without significant distractions. The Naval Welfare services are fully sympathetic to those who find themselves in these circumstances, but being in training is not the place to be at such times & it is far better to have an uninterrupted attempt at a later date.

The Navy will still be available up until you are 37, so it can wait.

Best of luck whichever you choose.
If your Dad's condition worsens once you are are in the Fleet you'll get compassionate leave - full stop, wherever you are. The RN would fly you back from any ship/shore job, anywhere in the world, as fast as they can.
Just as an opinion. My grandad has maybe 2 months to live (I dont mean to compare the issue to your situation. With the all the love in the world for Grandparents it cant be the same as what you're going through) - and is currently in a hospice. I join Raleigh in November, and in truth probably wont see him again after I go. But since telling him I am joining he spends most of his days telling the other residents and staff that his grandson in joining the Navy! He's ex RAF himself and you can see the pride everytime we talk about it. I leave for Raleigh very happy with that knowledge.

Your Dad is without doubt already proud, and knowing you will be taking one of the most positive steps you could be taking must be a source of great comfort. Of course this is only an opinion, not advice, but I would say go to Raleigh, set your life on course and remember everyday that your whole family will be proud.



Lantern Swinger
Dannyboy, shit, shit circumstances.
Ultimately it's obviously YOU who has to decide, you can only take what other people say as ideas, but I would really think long term. If your Dad has months to live, for the love of god, spend it with him, before it's too late. Tell him all about what you're GOING to do. Show him pictures, clips of Raleigh, and spend the last months with him, because nothing is worth losing that time, not even the King's Navy.
He'll know what you're going to do, and he can lay on his bed safe in the knowledge his son is going to make him proud. Plus there are far more things you can do to make him proud before joining the navy.
If I was you, I would put it off. Your head will be all over the place worrying about your Dad, you'll be thinking, why the fvck am I doing this crap instead of chilling with my dad. Where as if you postpone it, you'll have that determination to succeed when you do do it, and try that extra bit harder to achieve the best you can, because you have to keep that promise to your dad... type thing.
My sympathy Dannyboy, I hope all goes as well as it can for you in the circumstances.

wannabeaet - 'King's Navy'? Have I missed something? I would have thought that the passing of a monarch would have at least got a mention on the news.

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