What Do you Say?

Just back from our Sat.straightener at the pub when this happened!
Went to the bogs,up to the pisser bursting,down zip but it was jammed at the top!
Bladder was screaming out get the Feck relieved! so all I could do was undo the belt,drop the strides then the shreddies{Union Jack!] relieved at last then:
someone from the bar walked in catching sight of my [lovely] bare rectum.
What could I say that would be believed? "Having a wank Frank?" "can't reach the basin to wash the crumbs off?"
Needless to say in the bar was much comment.
My excuse was the fact my zip jammed but not believed,sometimes you find bloody morons in pubs.
Next strides I buy will have buttons,I hate zips.
No guzzler!just stood at the pisser anyone walking in would see it.
Just glad there were no chutney ferrets in at that time!I could have been in trouble.
Then again he would have been hard up[sic] to fancy an old mans pucker.
What's speedo's? will they go with a zimmer?

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