What Do you Say?

Discussion in 'The Gash Barge' started by seafarer1939, Jun 25, 2011.

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  1. Just back from our Sat.straightener at the pub when this happened!
    Went to the bogs,up to the pisser bursting,down zip but it was jammed at the top!
    Bladder was screaming out get the Feck relieved! so all I could do was undo the belt,drop the strides then the shreddies{Union Jack!] relieved at last then:
    someone from the bar walked in catching sight of my [lovely] bare rectum.
    What could I say that would be believed? "Having a wank Frank?" "can't reach the basin to wash the crumbs off?"
    Needless to say in the bar was much comment.
    My excuse was the fact my zip jammed but not believed,sometimes you find bloody morons in pubs.
    Next strides I buy will have buttons,I hate zips.
  2. It's Summer. Next time go in your Speedos.
  3. You should have casually glanced round and said "Fuckin fly holes are never big enough don't you find".
  4. You must have been stood in a very interesting position for anyone to see your bare rectum!
  5. "wheres the glory hole mate", then smile
  6. No guzzler!just stood at the pisser anyone walking in would see it.
    Just glad there were no chutney ferrets in at that time!I could have been in trouble.
    Then again he would have been hard up[sic] to fancy an old mans pucker.
    What's speedo's? will they go with a zimmer?
  7. They may have been able to see your arse seafarer, but they would have needed specialist equipment to see your rectum!
  8. Got it guzzler,I'm not an expert on rectums but I know where you are coming from.
    How do you know the difference?I am impressed!
  9. He dated an SBA:laughing2:
  10. No. A nursey. I won't go into the involvement of rectums in the relationship.

    NB There were none to be honest.
  11. Arseholes are very important to my war office.
    Apparently she married one.

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