What can you say?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, Jun 7, 2010.

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  1. When our joy sticks take control, caution is oft times thrown to the wind and we do some pretty drastic things in the name of love, yes love, spelt LUST,...love.

    When I was young, a couple of years back, I was on 57 days leave having just returned from a long stint in the far flung.
    We had been on the FES for a couple of years and I had been deprived of a satisfactory amount of pussy a- la- blanc.
    I was at home one morning contemplating my 10am rendezvous with a smart little married woman who had invited my round after she had safely sent hubby and the kid off to there respective day time haunts.
    The phone rings and I am badgered into a visit of my cousin who was out at a convalescent centre just by Bromsgrove, an hours drive away.
    As the young lady lived en route I had the idea of taking her with me.
    I picked her up at the appointed hour and off we trapps.
    I keep looking sideways at her and after a few minutes my imagination has joined forces with my randy gland and I am desperate to participate in what I should have been already doing at her house.
    The road is busy, and no actual places to pull into so I parks as close to the hedge as I can.
    With both the near side doors open I have a cuddy in which to engage in activities, except you could still be seen if actually bonking.
    Naval improvisation takes over and I sit her on the front seat with legs outside the car, and proceed to go down town for lunch.
    She being an unselfish (Lady) reciprocates and all are happy.
    When we arrive at the home, unbeknown to me, my mum is there and comes rushing over to greet me.
    She leans forwards and plants a kiss straight on my cheek.
    She pulls her head away real smart like and sniffs at me, coining the question "Whats that smell on your face, what have you been eating? "
    8O :roll: :oops:
     
  2. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    Fish & chips mum?
     
  3. I would reply with:

    ''That married tart from down the road's slimy clunge mum, what did you think?''

    I'm not really getting the point of this thread.
     
  4. Then you have never been in a situation that defies an answer?
     
  5. Salmon sandwich
     
  6. Crab Paste
     
  7. Not quite what I had in mind.

    I have been in quite a few situations in my time when there does not seem an appropriate answer can be given without landing one's self in the sh1t.

    The times I've been tempted, to answer my DO, when he posed certain questions.
    "Do you think I'm a complete fool?" 8O :roll:
    The specter of DQ's hovering in the background.
     
  8. Mum taught me never to lie to anyone, especially her.
     
  9. You are George Washington and I claim the £5
     
  10. Mine taught me all the real values of life.

    So I would not waste time and steal the wrong things :D :wink: :roll:
     
  11. I wish I`d listened to what my mum said to me.
     
  12. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I'm glad i didn't listen to mine. She told me to kill myself.
     
  13. Drafted to Culdrose in 1972 - 1st draft after being recently married. Only 21, skin and essence and trapped a Wrn Writer in the Pay office.

    Told the wife I would be going on a run that night with the office and took said Wrn to the Helzephron for a few wets before the main event. Parked up on a donkey track near Cury and in total darkness went down for big eats as a prelude to some serious shagging.Later, I dropped her at the main gate and proceeded home to find the wife in bed, so went to the bathroom to dhoby the smell of Wrn off the tackle as a precaution in case the wife fancied some as well.

    Put on the light and looked in the mirror to see something that looked like an extra from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Face covered in dried blood, hair spiky, and shirt totalled.

    Cleaned up and thought no more of it until the next morning when wifey and I trooped out to the car to go to work and she put her bag on the bag seat...
     
  14. May be she did to me, but I dont know I didnt listen.
     

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