jon is out having a drink with his mate tom who he hasn't seen for ages their both sinking few pints and genrally having a good time reminissing about the good old days. 10 o'clock rolls around and jon pipes up "gunna ave to go mate you know what the missus is like if i get in late the earache will be murder" tom replies "why don't you do what I do to stop the agro. I go home every night and give the missus a good licking for at least 5 minutes." "and that works does it no rows nothing" jon says "well I ain't been sober for a year and I go home when I want" says tom "stay out give it a go I ain 't seen you in ages" Jon agrees to stay and the couple start sinking some serious drinks shorts longs cocktails the lot. 4am rolls around and jon finally starts to make his way home knowing what he has in store if the advice doesn't work. he quietly puts the key in the door and switches all the lights in the house off, crawls upstairs to the bedroom and creeps under the covers and starts the lickin. wiv all the moans and groans he's sure he's on to a winner and keeps it up for 20 minutes just for good measure. when he's finished he wipes his mouth and goes to the ensuite to freshen up. when he gets in their his wife is taking a bath. jon shouts "what the hell are you doing in here" To which his wife replies "sshhh!! or you'll wake your mother"