What a Cock up!

#1
My Grandson phoned to ask my advice re.
His wife is pregnant and in the Maternity Ward of the Local Hospital
His girlfriend is pregnant and in the same ward of the same hospital two beds away!
How does he visit them?
Stupid twat couldn't get his timing right on top of that he bent the steering wheel of his Mini trying to get his leg over in the front seat with a hefty repair bill!
Brains? he ain't got a lot of so I've told him to bugger off and get it sorted but I still would like to see how he manages to get out of this one.
He's obviously not a Matelot we would have had more care but what a Wanker.
I'm sure some of the more enlightened in this forum would have an answer but I can't be arsed even if he is Family.
 
#2
His wife is pregnant and in the Maternity Ward of the Local Hospital
His girlfriend is pregnant and in the same ward of the same hospital two beds away!
How does he visit them?
Simple. All he has to do is arrange for one of them to be moved so they are in adjacent beds, then he can visit both at the same time.
 
#3
My Grandson phoned to ask my advice re.
His wife is pregnant and in the Maternity Ward of the Local Hospital
His girlfriend is pregnant and in the same ward of the same hospital two beds away!
How does he visit them?
Stupid twat couldn't get his timing right on top of that he bent the steering wheel of his Mini trying to get his leg over in the front seat with a hefty repair bill!
Brains? he ain't got a lot of so I've told him to bugger off and get it sorted but I still would like to see how he manages to get out of this one.
He's obviously not a Matelot we would have had more care but what a Wanker.
I'm sure some of the more enlightened in this forum would have an answer but I can't be arsed even if he is Family.
Point 'im here:

Jeremy Kyle | Be a guest - ITV Lifestyle
 
#6
My Grandson phoned to ask my advice re.
His wife is pregnant and in the Maternity Ward of the Local Hospital
His girlfriend is pregnant and in the same ward of the same hospital two beds away!
How does he visit them?
Stupid twat couldn't get his timing right on top of that he bent the steering wheel of his Mini trying to get his leg over in the front seat with a hefty repair bill!
Brains? he ain't got a lot of so I've told him to bugger off and get it sorted but I still would like to see how he manages to get out of this one.
He's obviously not a Matelot we would have had more care but what a Wanker.
I'm sure some of the more enlightened in this forum would have an answer but I can't be arsed even if he is Family.
If his girlfriend knows about the wife its simple.
If she don't it's satirical.
 
#8
Well if girlfriend knows he's married it's easy but if she don't then he needs an accident.
He'll have one any way if the Mrs cottons on.
 

Troglodyte

Lantern Swinger
#11
Ahem! I tend to think "Cock Up" is some how an inapropriate title for this thread, given your priapic gradsons predisposition for "rush to procreate" lifestyle. Poor fellow, I really do sympathise with his situation but as previously stated in another thread, "I care nothing for his preicament for I have a place within the lifeboat", or to put it another way, "Your story of woe has really touched my heart, Rarely have I met a man with such a tale of woe as yours, now Fuck Off, your giving me a headache."
 
#12
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Whatever, but half of RR are clamouring at the ringside now, awaiting developments....

So be sure to keep us posted, SF. :-D :evil5:
 

Ageing_Gracefully

War Hero
Moderator
Review Editor
Book Reviewer
#17
How does that toast you Nauticals use go again:

To wives & sweethearts

May they never meet.

Obviously SF has not brung his grandkids up proper.
 
#18
Just to put the matter straight! I have 5 sons and 2 daughters and have not a lot to do with them even less with the Grandkids so what they do is of no great concern.
When the sons reached 18 and the daughters married I told them that's it,I've brought you all up so keep in touch if you want but your mother and me are going to enjoy the rest we have left,you make your own way in life and deal with what comes.
Most of them have.
They do visit sometimes but I won't be arsed about problems or money worries from them.
They have to live their own life so this problem of the grandkid won't lose me any sleep.
I just thought I'd mention it to show how thick some people can be.
He won't get a place at Raleigh now!
 
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