Rumrat
War Hero

Right so I'm Australian and was brought up in Oz.
Now everyone who knows my background does the wide eyes surprised look when they are told face to face of one of my fears (I have two)
I do not like under any circumstances any size colour or variation spiders.
I hate the eight legged furry little fuckers to the 100th decimal point. Maybe more.
I was telling some English bloke once and he gets this big hairy fucker in his hand and starts tormenting me with it. I tells him he wants to be careful it don't bite him and he laughs "British spiders aren't poisonous".
I tell him all spiders are and he laughs.
Then the fucker up and bit him and his hand swelled up to fuck.
To day I receive a parcel (a crate) full of my latest import from the states.
I would not open it except very slowly a bit of a time and I am taking so much shite from my war office her sister and half the friggin neighbours.
Then when Mr hard fucker from over the road pulls a divider out, there was a fuckin humongous bastard on the side of it.
The assembled crowd are discussing it and what it might be.
Meanwhile the spider is sitting there in the open making no attempt to escape the cocky fucker.
The concensus is that Drayton Manor should be called as they have a zoo and some bugger who can identify anything that crawls.
He'll never identify that bastard as why they were all having their debate I hit the cunt with a shovel and flattened the get. RIP bastard you never got me.
It took hours to open the rest as no one was so bastard cocky after "Henry" came out.
Now everyone who knows my background does the wide eyes surprised look when they are told face to face of one of my fears (I have two)
I do not like under any circumstances any size colour or variation spiders.
I hate the eight legged furry little fuckers to the 100th decimal point. Maybe more.
I was telling some English bloke once and he gets this big hairy fucker in his hand and starts tormenting me with it. I tells him he wants to be careful it don't bite him and he laughs "British spiders aren't poisonous".
I tell him all spiders are and he laughs.
Then the fucker up and bit him and his hand swelled up to fuck.
To day I receive a parcel (a crate) full of my latest import from the states.
I would not open it except very slowly a bit of a time and I am taking so much shite from my war office her sister and half the friggin neighbours.
Then when Mr hard fucker from over the road pulls a divider out, there was a fuckin humongous bastard on the side of it.
The assembled crowd are discussing it and what it might be.
Meanwhile the spider is sitting there in the open making no attempt to escape the cocky fucker.
The concensus is that Drayton Manor should be called as they have a zoo and some bugger who can identify anything that crawls.
He'll never identify that bastard as why they were all having their debate I hit the cunt with a shovel and flattened the get. RIP bastard you never got me.
It took hours to open the rest as no one was so bastard cocky after "Henry" came out.