Liverpool Council have just refused Liverpool Football Club a stadium in Stanley Park. They said its ok to have a fair on it once a year, but a circus every 2 weeks is taking the piss!!!!


War Hero
First Aid Course. (Question and Answer session)

"Right! What would you do if you came across someone having
a major epilleptic fit in the bath?"

"Errrr...chuck in some Dobey dust and your Eights, Overalls, nicks and socks Chief?"


Lantern Swinger
Thats not funny, my brother died of an epileptic fit..............................................................................

He choked on a sock :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:


Strategic responses to the ever dangerous "Do I look Fat" question:

"No,not to Stevie Wonder."

"Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."

"Does this tie make me look stupid?"

"No hablo ingles."

"Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things kind of balance out."

"If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."

"Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."

"Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."

"Let me jog around to your front and take a look."

"No honey, but just to be safe, stay clear of one-legged sea captains."

"Whoa! A talking settee!!"

"May I consult the Iraqi Minister of Information before answering that?"
We used to set up the new part threes on joining the boat by getting them to ask the killick of the mess how his sister was doing at ballet.

They were keen to be accepted and thought it was being friendly so they always asked him.

His reply was 'She hasnt got any legs,how the fcuk do you think she is doing'

Said part three's went and hid in the forends.

They eventually twigged and returned to the fold.

Not the sort of humour I'm allowed to use anymore strangely enough.

Mind you his sister was doggo!

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