Warfare Officer

Discussion in 'Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting' started by nosga, Apr 30, 2008.

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  1. I was just wondering if anyone could name a few good traits/abilities that a warfare officer should have.
    Also does anyone know if being multi-lingual would be a benefit or not?
  2. Being Multi lingual is a benefit in any field, I believe that in the current climate Arabic and Chinese as a second language would be a superb choice.
  3. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I speak fluent drunkenese... :oops: :wink:
  4. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Whilst you travel far & wide around the globe it is worth learning, in as many different languages as possible, the following diplomatic phrases:

    1. My friend, the rich Officer, will pay for all the drinks this evening barman.

    2. Please release our boarding party, it's not our fault no-one thought to tell you that your territorial boundaries have been altered.

    3. You haven't seen a rusty old World War two bomb loafing anywhere on this beach have you my good chap?

    Anyone got some more?
  5. Two standard phrases:
    "Two beers please"
    "I am not American"

    And if you do meet an American
    "I do not know the Queen, or Prince Charles"
  6. Remember the ultimate German phrase:

    "I am a potato salad."

    It will get you far.
  7. silverfox

    silverfox War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see you through
  8. Just the abillty to realise that the only reason anyone else is onboard the platform is to facilitate your ability to exercise your tactical genius, and I suppose if there was no one else onboard then you'd have to speak to the old people at cocktail parties :thumright:
  9. What ever you do, don't mention the war...
  10. Or at least the ability to maintain that self delusion ;)
  11. Which I found out at a cocktail party on a German frigate is very difficult when you are pissed. In my defence it was all the fault of the Dutch Navy submarine I had had to make a duty visit on the way to the party and the half pint of gin and tonic, without the tonic, they had given me.
  12. If you get in an argument, accuse them of starting it. After all they invaded Poland
  13. No arguments, I am not a punchy drunk, just tend to get sleepy.
  14. Guns

    Guns War Hero Moderator

    Cocktail Party lessons.

    When you are a young buck of a Midshipman you make a bee line for the young ladies, with your sparkling whit and shinny shoes you make an impression.

    When you become more experienced and have done a bit of time you make a bee line for the 50 yr old bloke who is the Captain of the local golf club. He sets you up with a free round of golf, knows the score and introduces to some nice ladies from his club/work/his nanny. You also get an invite to his house for a BBQ (very true of our Yank friends) where you end up spending an interesting night with the newly divorced 40 yr old who cooks a nice breakfast.

    Or so I have been told. Because that in no way applies to me. I am a good boy
  15. Excellent traits for warfare officers are usually:
    1. A total aversion to go to 2 deck or below.
    2. Have a complete disregard for any other branch.
    3. Ignore your upper deck part of ship responsibilities.
    4. Deride anything the engineers tell you as if you know better.
    5. Work hard at school, get a useful degree and join as an engineer officer.

    Oops. Did I rant? This is, of course, a massive generalisation. Myself and my engineer colleagues hold all war-fairies in high regard.....honest.
  16. *snigger*

    Picture the scene, 0830 on the morning of skippers upper deck rounds. OOW3 wanders up to POS PO and asks what the plan is. POS PO ten minutes later draining down on me about where the f*ck said OOW has been for the last couple of weeks as he and my SRs have been getting things sorted out.

    Difficult one this as I ended up selling my birth-right. War-faries are useful though, as long as you don't mind the knuckle drag-marks on the deck. Saves giving the host of sh!tty jobs that the bridge monkeys get to the engineers.
  17. My favourite was on the Fearless as HEO accompanying the CO on upper deck rounds. One killick POS,when quizzed on a problem area, told the old man in a very confident voice that said area was in the Chippy's Defect Log...which I then produced.


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