waiting for the police

#1
8O Fcuking hell having run naked through the sleepy hamlet of Crafthole last night vomited over the doctors wife next door and done really bad things with my dog I am now cooking sausage sarnies with brown sauce and waiting for the law to arrive. I also have vague memories of exposing myself to the vicars wife and buggering one of the sheep in the field nearby, ok if your 21 but this year is my 53rd on the planet will I ever grow up??? Wonder what new year is like in Dartmour will keep you posted please send me roll up tobacco
 
#2
StixJimboRM said:
I'll get mrs SJRM to make a cake, and stick the obligatory hacksaw blade in it! Good luck with having your hoop stretched by all those burly murdering fcukers and don't drop the soap!
:lol:
Ta SJRM pop in some wank mags as well :twisted:
 
G

guestm

Guest
#3
stan_the_man said:
8O Fcuking hell having run naked through the sleepy hamlet of Crafthole last night vomited over the doctors wife next door and done really bad things with my dog I am now cooking sausage sarnies with brown sauce and waiting for the law to arrive. I also have vague memories of exposing myself to the vicars wife and buggering one of the sheep in the field nearby, ok if your 21 but this year is my 53rd on the planet will I ever grow up??? Wonder what new year is like in Dartmour will keep you posted please send me roll up tobacco
I fcuking love you!
 

pugfrom83

Lantern Swinger
#4
stan_the_man said:
8O Fcuking hell having run naked through the sleepy hamlet of Crafthole last night vomited over the doctors wife next door and done really bad things with my dog I am now cooking sausage sarnies with brown sauce and waiting for the law to arrive. I also have vague memories of exposing myself to the vicars wife and buggering one of the sheep in the field nearby, ok if your 21 but this year is my 53rd on the planet will I ever grow up??? Wonder what new year is like in Dartmour will keep you posted please send me roll up tobacco
FFS Stan you boring [email protected] Same old thing every year.
Why not do something different next year. :wink:
 
#7
stan_the_man said:
8O Fcuking hell having run naked through the sleepy hamlet of Crafthole last night vomited over the doctors wife next door and done really bad things with my dog I am now cooking sausage sarnies with brown sauce and waiting for the law to arrive. I also have vague memories of exposing myself to the vicars wife and buggering one of the sheep in the field nearby, ok if your 21 but this year is my 53rd on the planet will I ever grow up??? Wonder what new year is like in Dartmour will keep you posted please send me roll up tobacco
You are deliciously mental!
 

chatsharris

Lantern Swinger
#8
Oh god, I'm 20 this year! Do I have to start learning to shag sheep? Is it better to put their back feet in your wellies so they can't get away? How can you pick out a sexy one?

Enlighten me Stan ;)
 
#9
chatsharris said:
Oh god, I'm 20 this year! Do I have to start learning to shag sheep? Is it better to put their back feet in your wellies so they can't get away? How can you pick out a sexy one?

Enlighten me Stan ;)
Use chest waders so you can muff them first. :twisted:
 
#11
chatsharris said:
Oh god, I'm 20 this year! Do I have to start learning to shag sheep? Is it better to put their back feet in your wellies so they can't get away? How can you pick out a sexy one?

Enlighten me Stan ;)
What? and miss out on the kissing? :twisted:
 
#13
Fcuk me got a head like a forty shilling pisspot no fecker in the village is talking to me, forgot the sheeps first name and the dog has fcuked off to the mother in laws with a sore arse, well that was 2009 bring on 2010 and off to watch Newcastle fcuk the pointy heads in the cup at Home Park tomorrow as they say here Get ON. Tad worried the wife called me Paul today???? And she didn't take it up the shitter should I think of divorce or fcuk off with whats its name the sheep with a blue mark on its arse??? Blackrat please advise
 

Ageing_Gracefully

War Hero
Moderator
Review Editor
Book Reviewer
#14
stan_the_man said:
Fcuk me got a head like a forty shilling pisspot no fecker in the village is talking to me, forgot the sheeps first name and the dog has fcuked off to the mother in laws with a sore arse, well that was 2009 bring on 2010 and off to watch Newcastle fcuk the pointy heads in the cup at Home Park tomorrow as they say here Get ON. Tad worried the wife called me Paul today???? And she didn't take it up the shitter should I think of divorce or fcuk off with whats its name the sheep with a blue mark on its arse??? Blackrat please advise
His name is Baaaaarry
 

Ageing_Gracefully

War Hero
Moderator
Review Editor
Book Reviewer
#16
It was probably a Welsh sheep which has spent the last few years holidaying on the Cote d'Azure.

His name would have been Baaaaary-John :p
 
#17
Just got worse local brown hatter round for a drink already pissed and tells me he loves me do I :

A let him suck my knob
B Feed him to the dog
C roger him with the rather stale cucumber in the fridge
D Nut him
E Help him to keep in touch with his masculine side
F Ask him for his sisters address and knob her while he's drinking his martini
 
#18
stan_the_man said:
Just got worse local brown hatter round for a drink already pissed and tells me he loves me do I :

A let him suck my knob
B Feed him to the dog
C roger him with the rather stale cucumber in the fridge
D Nut him
E Help him to keep in touch with his masculine side
F Ask him for his sisters address and knob her while he's drinking his martini
A and D
 
#19
JonnoJonno said:
stan_the_man said:
Just got worse local brown hatter round for a drink already pissed and tells me he loves me do I :

A let him suck my knob
B Feed him to the dog
C roger him with the rather stale cucumber in the fridge
D Nut him
E Help him to keep in touch with his masculine side
F Ask him for his sisters address and knob her while he's drinking his martini
A and D
:D Facist cnut
 

tuts

Lantern Swinger
#20
stan_the_man said:
Just got worse local brown hatter round for a drink already pissed and tells me he loves me do I :

A let him suck my knob
B Feed him to the dog
C roger him with the rather stale cucumber in the fridge
D Nut him
E Help him to keep in touch with his masculine side
F Ask him for his sisters address and knob her while he's drinking his martini
A & C
 
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